


Primroses on my Soul

by BooksandKpop



Category: Gugudan (Band), SF9 (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Finally getting together, First Love, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt and comfort, Long Distance Relationship, Lost Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Reunited lovers, Slow Burn, Soulmarks, Soulmates, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, True Love, University AU, brief mention of panic attacks, fake dating au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-10-21 05:10:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 47,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17636549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BooksandKpop/pseuds/BooksandKpop
Summary: When Juho was sixteen, four purple primroses blossomed on his left thigh.***All he wanted from his final year in university was to receive his first-class honours and for his friends to stop setting him up on blind dates. And if he had to spin a few white lies for the second part to happen then so be it.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> lads i have no idea how this got so long and out of hand, but please please bear with me because i am in love with this au i have created. please leave me feedback because i have poured a considerable amount of my soul into this fic and crave validation uwu

People called him a hopeless romantic and Juho agreed. It wasn't a bad thing, he just wished more than anything else that if he ever met his soulmate they would be someone he could love unconditionally in a romantic way. He knew he would love them regardless, that was the nature of soulmarks after all. Now, he wasn't one of those people who refused to consider dating other people because they were waiting for their soulmate, nor was he going to spend his life travelling around the world just to search for them. But he was still allowed to dream of that one person who was made for him and would understand him better than anyone else could. 

Final year of university was completely kicking his ass, leaving him no time at all to dream. Between in-class tests, weekly assignments and writing his thesis, Juho had very little time to do much of anything besides study. His friends were unimpressed of course. Sanghyuk was also in his final year but was doing a single major in biology, and Taeyang was a year below them in the elite Performing Arts degree. Juho was a double honours student in law and international business, a combination that sounded great for his first two years and only became a nightmare after it was too late to change. He was determined to come out with first-class honours despite everyone trying to convince him that it was next to impossible. You could say a lot about Baek Juho, but when he set his mind to something he would see it through to the end even if it killed him.

Which was exactly what worried his friends.

 

"An hour isn't going to cost you your grade dumbass."

"I'm on a roll Sanghyuk, if I stop writing now I'm going to lose this train of thought and I can't afford that right now."

"You also can't afford to pass out from hunger, so if you don't take a break and come meet the others for pizza I am going to have Youngbin haul your ass downstairs and we'll keep you for the whole evening."

 

That was a threat Juho really didn't want to be followed through. So despite the piercing voice in the back of his head telling him not to stop writing, Juho put his laptop into sleep mode and stood up from his desk. His joints all cracked and popped as he stretched arms above his head, and if that wasn't a sign he had been sitting for too long then what was. Sanghyuk let out a delighted whoop and shot a text into their group chat to confirm he had convinced Juho to leave his room. He really did appreciate his friends caring about his health and making him take breaks from his work, and so he let his roommate sling an arm around his shoulder as they marched down the three flights of stairs to the common room where the pizza had apparently just arrived.

His friends were loud and energetic and always had a hilarious story of some sort to tell. There were eight of them altogether. A rag-tag group of different ages and majors who all somehow came together over the last two years. Inseong, Youngbin and Jaeyoon were the eldest, all postgraduate students in different departments who had been roommates in their first year of university. They were the original founders of this group Juho supposed, and they just gathered others along the way. Sanghyuk and Juho were the next eldest, fourth years who were again thrown together by the random dorm assignment lottery and they had stayed together for the three years following. They had met the group through Jaeyoon, who hosted a weekly radio show run by students for students, and Sanghyuk had gotten to know him through his own involvement in the station. Taeyang was the only third year, brought in by Youngbin who had recognised his talent and asked him to join their universities dance team. That's also how Chani came into their group, and with him came his half-brother Hwiyoung. They were second years and therefore the babies of the group, and they used that to their mischevious advantage more often than they should have gotten away with. All in all, they were a close-knit group of friends and Juho loved them all to bits.

Most of the time at least. Right now he really wished they would focus on something other than him and his lack of a dating life. 

 

"Come on Juho, all you do is go to class and study! Where's the fun in that?"

"It's called wanting to top my class Jaeyoon, and to do that I need to study."

"Not to put down your efforts or anything, but there are definitely people in your class you could not top."

 

There was raucous laughter as Youngbin looked scandalised by Chani's comments. Juho rolled his eyes good-naturedly and threw a pillow in the youngest's direction. It was always fun spending time together, and teasing one another was their way of showing affection. He just wished someone else would take the brunt of the relationship drama for a change. Why couldn't they just let him study and stop trying to set him up on blind dates with people who really weren't his type?

 

"There's a new postgrad in my department, he's here on a six-month exchange from the south. I think you would like him Juju."

"Ok one, please never call me that again, and two, I don't need to go on any more random dates you guys keep trying to set up for me."

"What do you mean you don't need to? Did you manage to score a date on your own and not tell us?"

"Don't be ridiculous Tae, when would Juho have met someone we haven't already tried to set him up with? He never goes anywhere interesting."

"Well, then why wouldn't he _need_ us to set him up?"

 

Juho sat back and quietly ate his pizza as the rest of his friends dissolved into childish squabbling. Inseong, the language major, was trying to explain the implications of the use of different words to Hwiyoung, the experimental physics student, who really couldn't care less but enjoyed stirring up mischief. Jaeyoon and Sanghyuk were debating whether or not the postgrad in Jaeyoon's department was actually Juho's type while Youngbin was trying to wrestle Chani over his use of innuendo and also the last slice of pepperoni pizza.

 

"Well then why don't we just ask him to clarify? Juho, are you dating someone or not?"

"Yeah."

 

Immediately he realised his mistake. He had begun to zone out and just answered in response to hearing his name, but now that his brain had caught up with what was actually said there was a huge dilemma facing him. Either correct himself right now and have to convince his friends he really didn't need to date anyone right now, or, let it go and run with the lie. His brain wasn't really functioning at it's best after spending all day writing about complicated international business politics he still didn't fully understand, and so he was too slow to fix his slip up before it was turned into something it wasn't.

 

"WHAT? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?! I AM WOUNDED!"

"Ok calm down Sanghyuk it's not that big of a deal."

"Yeah, back when you dated Nayoung you didn't tell us at first, maybe Juho was just waiting to see how it goes."

 

It would have been easier to make things up if he didn't have the reasonable voice of Youngbin on his side. Now though, he felt like he had to try and make this work to uphold his friend's good and trusted reputation. Which was a major problem, because he most certainly had not met anyone recently who he would consider dating, even just as a once off thing he could lie to his friends about. So now he had the full attention of all seven others in the group focused solely on him, waiting for an explanation. All he could do was roll with it and pray none of them noticed he was making things up as he went along.

 

"We have only been on one date so far, so don't go getting your hopes too high. He's nice."

"Just nice? Come on, you need to give us a bit more than that."

"Yeah, I promise I will keep Chani from stalking him online if that's what you're worried about."

"Hwi, since when have you ever been able to stop Chani from doing things he's not supposed to do?"

"Juho, you don't have to tell us about him if you don't want to. We're just surprised, that's all. But as long as you're happy that's what matters."

 

Once again, Youngbin's kind and understanding words made Juho feel under more pressure to convince his friends that there was actually someone he had met, despite that being the opposite of his intentions. He sat for a moment contemplating and decided a little bit of acting wouldn't hurt anyone. After all, he could just tell them next week that it wasn't working out and that would be the end of it. Or at least, he hoped.

 

"It's fine like I said I've only met him once so I still don't know how I feel about him yet though."

"That's totally understandable, do you think you'll go out with him again?"

"Of course he will! You can't really get a good reading after one date, so a second one is definitely called for! What's his name? What age is he? Do we know him? How do you know him?"

"Stop being so nosy Sanghyuk."

"I'm his roommate I'm allowed to be nosy."

 

Juho felt his palms go a little sweaty, but he was committed to this now. Just make up a fake story, not too boring that they would pry but not too unrealistic that they wouldn't believe him. After all, it wasn't like they were ever going to have to meet his fake date."

 

"Well, he's our age, and no you don't know him. He isn't in the university."

"How did you meet someone not from here? You never go anywhere other than the library and your lectures."

"No, that's not true! He went to that music show last weekend, remember? Is that where you met him?"

"Uh, yeah. We met at the bar and chatted for a while. Like I said, he's nice."

"And what is Mr Nice's name?"

"Rowoon."

 

Where that name came from Juho didn't know. But it was a good name, strong and not that unbelievable. Sanghyuk seemed like he wanted to ask more questions but Jaeyoon tackled him backwards with a hug and that was the end of that. They finished the last of the food and finally the conversation moved away from Juho and his dating life. He knew he should have escaped back to his room and gone back to work, but his mind was beyond exhausted and while his friends weren't exactly what you would call relaxing company, they certainly knew how to help him de-stress. 

It wasn't until they all began shuffling around and getting ready to go back to their respective dorms that the topic of Juho's mystery date was brought up again. Oddly enough, it was Taeyang who raised the question.

 

"So Juho, do you think you'll actually meet up with Rowoon again?"

"Umm, I guess so. I have no reason not to. I have so much coming up the next two weeks though I don't think it will happen for a while, if at all."

 

Taeyang nodded in understanding and Youngbin shot him a soft smile. Juho felt a little sick knowing he was flat out lying to his friends like this, but the longer he could put off them setting him up with yet another random stranger, the more school work he could actually get done.

The next two weeks were hectic as expected. Juho barely had time to catch three hours sleep and stuff his face with instant noodles between lectures and assignments and meetings about internships and job opportunities and writing his final thesis. His friends for a change didn't try to drag him away from his work, just giving him gentle hugs and sending reminders to eat and rest whenever he could. After what felt like an eternity, Friday finally rolled around and after submitting one of his more important essays Juho went back to his apartment and collapsed face first onto the couch.

 

"You finally have a bit of a break huh?"

"Mmhmm, no assignments due for another two and a half weeks and I have made decent progress on my thesis. I don't even want to think about internship applications though, they make me want to bang my head against a wall."

"I feel you, we have had talks all this week about graduate programmes and getting industry experience and blah blah blah."

 

Juho grinned and turned his head so he was actually facing Sanghyuk, who was currently making a pot of herbal tea in the kitchen. His cheek was squished against the cushion and he let his eyes drift shut in a moment of rare peace. His roommate came over with the pot and two cups, setting them down on the table before disturbing Juho's position and rearranging them so the business major had his head in his friend's lap. They were content sitting like this, drinking tea and letting the comfortable silence surround them. A lot of people thought Sanghyuk was too loud and too full of energy all the time, but there was so much more to him than that. Juho really appreciated the times they spent together like this, it had always been a point of solace for him in the four years they had been roommates. He was going to miss it when they graduated.

 

"So, I started seeing Nayoung again."

"Wait, seriously? I thought it didn't end well between you guys?"

"I mean, we were both still pretty immature in second year. She was focused on getting a solo for her showcase and I was freaking out over my first major lab assignment. But we happened to bump into one another on Tuesday in the library off-campus and decided we wanted to give it another shot."

"That's great Sanghyuk, I'm really happy for you. And hey if you ever need anything just let me know yeah?"

"Well, that's actually why I brought it up. She really wants to try this new escape room that recently opened up, but they only do groups of four at the smallest. So I was thinking maybe you would like to come with?"

"There would only be three of us then though?"

"You could bring Rowoon. I know you said you've only met him once but you seemed pretty smitten when you were talking about him, and this might be a good excuse for you to meet again."

 

There was a pregnant pause as Sanghyuk waited for Juho's answer. If he was being entirely honest, he had almost completely forgotten about the fake date he had made up to get out of being set up yet again. It shouldn't have been such a cause for concern, and usually, he would have just brushed it off and said no he didn't want to. But this was Sanghyuk and the first girl he ever really loved. Juho had been there for him through the heartbreak that had come with their split two years ago, and he couldn't just leave him in this situation. So despite the screaming voice in his head telling him it was a bad idea, he spoke up.

 

"Ok, I'll ask him and see what he says. If he doesn't want to then I'll just drag Jaeyoon or Inseong along instead."

"Actually, here's the thing. I don't want to tell any of the others yet. Not until I'm sure the two of us can make it work, especially since we're in final year now. So, if he can't make it then we just will find something else to do."

 

Now the dilemma Juho was facing had tripled in size. There was no way he could let Sanghyuk down, not while knowing how much this meant to him. So Juho promised not to tell anyone else about Nayoung and also that he would try to convince Rowoon to agree to the double date. His roommate gave him a tight hug in thanks, before heading off to meet Nayoung for dinner. As soon as he was gone Juho rushed to the bathroom, feeling like he was going to throw up. How was he supposed to go on a double date when the person he was meant to ask didn't exist? He was really in deep trouble and didn't sleep at all that night, tossing and turning in his guilt.

For the first time in a while, Juho had a free Saturday with no assignments hanging over his head. Unfortunately, he couldn't really enjoy the chance to lie in bed all morning because the guilt was still eating him up inside. Sanghyuk gave him a huge toothy smile at breakfast and spent the time excitedly telling him about Nayoung and how happy he was they were back together. Juho had his most genuine fake smile plastered on his face, trying not to let his discomfort and internal grief show. He should have had the day to relax at home, but he couldn't stand the thought of being around Sanghyuk and his happiness. So instead he went out. 

It had been a long time since he had gone anywhere other than lecture theatres and the library, as his friends so rightly pointed out at any occasion. So he took his guilt for a walk off campus and tried to come up with a solution to his situation in the fresh air. His rambling walk while distracted thoughts filled his head brought him to a small cafe that Juho had never seen before. To be fair, he could probably say that about any cafe he would have ended up at. It was lunchtime and the smells from inside were enough to make his stomach grumble so he caved and walked inside.

There was a welcoming vibe to the cafe as he walked through the doors, the golden lights and homely smell of cakes and coffee drew him further inside and towards the counter before he really realised what he was doing. He looked around the interior as he was waiting in line, all the tables and booths were occupied with groups of people and he wondered would he have to get his food to go and find somewhere else to eat. Soon enough he reached the front of the queue and the amount of choice was briefly overwhelming. In the end, he ordered a cappuccino and goats cheese wrap from the barista with bright red hair behind the counter. It didn't take too long for his order to be ready and the employee who brought it over to him must have noticed his insecurity about where to sit with it. 

 

"There's a table right in the corner at the front of the store with an empty chair, if you want to sit in. Otherwise, I can pack this into a takeaway bag for you?"

 

Juho didn't really want to have to wander around and look for somewhere to sit and eat, so he decided he would suck it up and hope the other person sitting at the table wouldn't mind him joining them. Thanking the employee, he picked up his sandwich and coffee and made his way through the well-decorated store to where the empty seat was meant to be. Sure enough, there was a small table right beside the window at the front of the cafe with only one person occupying it. They had their back to the window and the light shadowed them in an artistic silhouette, but Juho could definitely tell they were rather tall and well-built. He walked over to the table and got a better look at the occupant when he got close enough.

 

"Hi, I'm sorry to bother you. Would you mind if I sat here? The store is pretty full."

 

His voice came out a little more quiet than he would have preferred, but the guy sitting at the table simply smiled brightly and nodded towards the chair in front of him. He thanked him and set his things on the table before sitting down himself. The store was rather warm so he shrugged off his leather jacket and hung it on the chair behind him. Juho wasn't the kind of person who needed to engage in mindless small talk with people, often he prefered the silence that allowed him to be with his own thoughts. But for some reason, he had the urge to try and fill the time with conversation. Taking a sip from his coffee, he let out a happy sigh. It had been a long time since he had anything other than instant coffee from a machine in the library. The stranger opposite him chuckled a little at that.

 

"Your coffee is nice I take it?"

"Yeah, sorry. I haven't had real coffee in a while, library coffee sucks."

"I remember that too well, three years worth of cheap machine bean juice trying to keep yourself awake."

"Tell me about it. This is the first day I have been off campus since I started back. Final year sucks."

 

The guy smiled and nodded understandingly, while Juho felt himself heat up a little under his gaze. He was very, very handsome. Juho wanted to say something else and keep the conversation going but wasn't sure what else to say. Fortunately, the other guy was more than willing to do so.

 

"I'll take it you're studying at Newport?"

"Yeah, double honours is kicking my ass."

"Yikes, I don't envy you -"

"Juho."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Seokwoo."

 

They shook hands and Juho wished that fate would have been on his side and the attractive guy would have been called Rowoon. But of course, that would have been too easy. Instead, he decided to find out more about this guy while also getting to eat his sandwich.

 

"So, you're obviously graduated from uni, right?"

"Right. I graduated from Ashtown last year. I only did single honours though, international relations. I'm taking a year off right now to try out some other things before I dedicate myself to a career in it though. At the moment I'm modelling."

 

Juho nodded enthusiastically as he listened. It was great to hear from someone else who had done something similar and what they were doing after finishing. Knowing that this guy had graduated and wasn't pressured into going straight into the workforce gave him a bit more confidence in what he wanted to do when he finished. He took a sip of his coffee before contributing his own bits of information.

 

"That sounds great, it's good to hear you weren't forced into working straight out of uni. I'm doing law and international business and it sucks. I have no idea what I am going to do with it afterwards."

"Another person who got sucked into the 'international' sinkhole for courses right?"

"Unfortunately, yeah. I don't even speak any other languages, there's no way I could go abroad with it."

 

They both laughed at that and Juho smiled knowing he had met someone who shared his opinions on the trap of international courses. He lost track of time as he got to know Seokwoo better. It turned out they were the same age and had quite a few similar interests. Juho was left in stitches hearing about the taller males escapades in his first year of university with his two roommates, who apparently had been christened 'Bermuda Line' by other students. When Juho asked why Seokwoo rolled his eyes and put on a high pitched voice before explaining.

 

"Dongmin, Seokwoo and Seoham are just soooooooo handsome. You fall into their visuals and get lost forever."

 

There was a brief pause before Juho burst into uncontrollable laughter. The way Seokwoo had mimicked an obviously lovestruck female classmate, complete with fluttering eyelashes and clasped hands, left him doubled over the table. His shoulders were shaking and his stomach hurt from laughing so hard, and Seokwoo joined in, likely just laughing at Juho's reaction. When he had finally calmed down there were tears in his eyes, and when he looked across the table at Seokwoo there was an interesting expression on the others face. Juho felt his heart flip for another reason. 

 

"So yeah, you can imagine what my university experience was like."

"Uhh, not really, I don't think I have ever had anyone swoon over my face before. I can imagine it would make things rather interesting though."

 

Seokwoo scanned his eyes across Juho's face and he felt himself flush a little under the attention. It had been a long time since he had felt like this with a stranger, Seokwoo was the first person he had genuinely enjoyed spending time with outside of his friend group. If he had any time for thinking about a relationship, Juho would definitely have considered building one with Seokwoo. However, he had more than enough things on his mind with his final year of university and graduation looming over him.

But the natural way of the universe had its own course already set out, unbeknownst to him.

Juho was laughing at something that Seokwoo had said, a passing comment about his second-year exams and a raging hangover when he saw a far too familiar face passing by the window of the cafe. A smiling Sanghyuk was walking arm in arm with an equally bright Nayoung by his side. There was such joy on their faces that Juho felt his chest tighten when he remembered the promise he made to his best friend. And the way the world would have it, Sanghyuk turned his head just before they were out of sight of the window and met Juho's eye. He saw recognition dawn on his roommates face as he looked at the stranger sitting across from him and the flush on Juho's cheeks from laughing so much. Seokwoo must have seen a change in Juho's face and turned his head slightly to see Dawon staring in at them.

 

"Juho, do you know that guy?"

"Uhhh, yeah I'm afraid so. He's my roommate and best friend."

"And why is he staring at yo- oh, he's coming in ok."

 

This was by far the worst case scenario. Here he was sitting in a quaint little cafe across the table from a tall, handsome man who made him laugh at useless things when his best friend believed him to already be dating someone. Seokwoo was rightfully confused but before he could ask or Juho got a chance to warn him, the hurricane which was Lee Sanghyuk was upon them. And despite the large crowd and suspicious girlfriend on his arm, he yelled loudly at his friend.

 

"JUHOOOO~ IS THIS YOUR BOYFRIEND?! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T TELL US HE WAS THIS HANDSOME!"

 

He cringed inwards as several people in the cafe turned to look at them hiding in the corner. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the raised eyebrow Seokwoo was shooting his way but didn't say anything. Juho debated with himself about what he was going to do in this situation. His first option was to correct Sanghyuk right now, but that would lead to a question about his actual 'boyfriend' which of course he didn't have. His second option was to try and pull his best friend away from the table and explain the situation, but that wasn't likely to work. Before he could make a decision, the universe moved against him, and Seokwoo spoke up.

 

"Well, we haven't exactly put a label on what this is yet."

"Oh, my bad! This is only your second date, isn't it? Sorry, but I'm just so excited, Juho hasn't had a second date with anyone since he started university!"

"Thanks for that bud, really appreciate it."

 

Seokwoo chuckled at the situation while Nayoung stifled a giggle in the arm of her coat. Juho felt himself blush harder and caught the mischevious look he was being sent from across the table. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. Unfortunately, he was not in control of the situation.

 

"So, Rowoon right?"

"You gave your friends my stage name, really?"

 

The taller male had an eyebrow raised in his direction and there was a playful tone in his voice. This might just work if he could just play along well enough to get Sanghyuk out of their hair for him to explain the situation.

 

"Listen, I have very nosy friends as you can see. I guarantee if I had given them your actual name they would have stalked you on social media."

"Wait! Your name isn't Rowoon? That's not fair Juho, you can't lie to us like that!"

"He didn't lie exactly, lots of people call me Rowoon for work. You can call me Seokwoo though."

 

His best friend shook hands with his 'date' while simultaneously giving Juho a death look. He just grinned sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders. What was one more little white lie in the story he had already built up? Sanghyuk looked like he was going to continue grilling them but Nayoung elbowed him in the side and cut in instead. Juho couldn't help but smile. She was definitely good for him.

 

"It's nice to meet you Seokwoo, I'm Nayoung, Sanghyuk's girlfriend."

"A pleasure. I feel like I know you from somewhere, do I?"

"We might have met at the studio in the last few months. I have gone along to pick up my friend from shoots before."

"Oh of course, you're Sejeong's friend, right? She always speaks so fondly of you."

 

This was taking a turn that Juho wasn't sure he was comfortable with. Why did Seokwoo have to have a connection to Sanghyuk's girlfriend, of all people? Hopefully, it wouldn't cause any complications before he could talk to Seokwoo about what was going on. He wanted to try and pull Sanghyuk away from the table and convince him to leave, but his friend was far too stubborn for that and had his own plans.

 

"So Juho, have you asked  _Seokwoo_ about the escape room yet?"

 

Now the panic set in. It was one thing for a stranger to pretend to be his fake date in a sticky situation like this, but it was something else to actually have to act on it. He tried to send a message to Seokwoo with just his eyes, warning him about the danger. But as fate would have it, he wasn't looking his way at all to receive the message. Instead he looked directly at Sanghyuk and responded on his own.

 

"You're talking about the new one that opened in the city right? I really want to try it out but they only take groups of four and up."

"I know, how stupid is that? That's why I mentioned it to Hyukkie here about bringing some of his friends along so we could all go."

"And I asked Juho to ask you if you guys wanted to double date with us."

 

All three of them turned to look at Juho who was struggling to keep a composed face in this disastrous rollercoaster he had been thrown on. Everything was just happening so quickly, he just had to rely on instinct and hope for the best.

 

"I hadn't gotten around to asking him yet, we're still getting to know one another."

 

He said that very pointedly at Sanghyuk, hoping it would be enough to get him to back off. If he had a second to think about it really, he would have realised he actually wouldn't mind spending more time with Seokwoo and getting to know him. Fortunately, the man across the table seemed to be more than happy to take the lead in this 'relationship' of theirs. 

 

"I mean, I think it sounds great! I've never been on a double date before."

"Really? That's amazing! I have wanted to do this since it opened but none of my friends wanted to do it with me."

"Well then, I guess that's sorted. We'll try and arrange a time that suits all of us during the week. And we will leave you guys to your date."

 

Sanghyuk winked at his roommate before they all said their goodbyes and the couple left the cafe. Obviously, they had actual plans that Sanghyuk had disrupted just because he spotted Juho in the window of the store. Once they were out of sight, Juho dropped his head onto the table with a thud and let out a tortured groan. He could feel Seokwoo's gaze on the back of his head but wasn't ready to face the handsome man just yet. A few minutes passed in silence before Seokwoo spoke up, and Juho raised his head to meet his eyes.

 

"You want to tell me what that was all about?"

"My friends won't stop bothering me about dating someone. They always try and set me up on blind dates that I have no interest in. So, a few weeks ago in an exhausted haze, I accidentally made them think I was already seeing someone and that's why they didn't need to find someone for me. The questioned me, I panicked, and I thought that was the end of it. But then, Sanghyuk and Nayoung got back together after two years and she really wants to do this escape room but Sanghyuk didn't want to tell any of our other friends they were back together yet in case things didn't work out so he asked me if I would ask my 'date' to go with. And he was so happy and I had already forgotten I told them I was seeing someone so I just said yes and then I went for a walk today to try and clear my head and come up with a solution. Which is how I ended up here and you know the rest."

 

He took a large breath after he finished his ramble and waited for Seokwoo to say something. It was a lot, he knew, but he just hoped Seokwoo wasn't scared off. The taller male had a thoughtful look on his face and Juho's stomach tied itself in knots in the silence. Finally though, he said something.

 

"So, you lied about seeing someone to get your friends off your back, and then the first time you actually meet someone they don't know one of your friends just happens to walk by and see you. And it just happens to be the one friend you promised you would go on a double date with even though you aren't actually dating anyone."

"That sums it up pretty well, yeah."

 

Another beat of silence before Seokwoo burst into a full-bellied laugh. It was the kind of laughter that was infectious in its joy, and despite himself Juho felt his lips tug up into a smile. There was absolutely no denying it, Seokwoo was beyond handsome and looked radiant when he laughed. And perhaps Juho felt his stomach twist in the good way when he looked at him. 

 

"Thanks for playing along, I was ready for the ground to swallow me up."

"Not a problem, like I said, I really want to try that escape room too. But I only have two friends and neither of them are dating anyone either, so we couldn't go."

"Wait, you really want to go on this fake date?"

"Sure, why not? I think it would be fun, and if it keeps your friends out of your hair so you can study then I'm happy to help."

 

Juho would have liked it to be a real date he realised as Seokwoo accepted his offer. He thanked the taller male profusely as they exchanged phone numbers and wished that it was for a different reason. But it wasn't all bad, he was going to get to see Seokwoo again and get to know him better. And just maybe when his final year of torture was over, he could actually do something about this attraction he felt. If it wasn't too late by then. 

They both realised at the same time how late in the afternoon it had gotten and Seokwoo jumped back in his chair. Seokwoo explained he had to be in the studio in twenty minutes, and Juho regrettably admitted he should probably do some more writing for his thesis. After making sure they had all their things, the pair walked out of the cafe together thanking the waiter who came by to clear their table. The crowd had died down a little, but it was still rather busy. Outside the shop they had to part ways, Juho heading back to campus and Seokwoo walking further into the city.

 

"Thank you again for everything today, I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome. Keep me updated on the times they suggest for the escape room and I'll see what I can work into my schedule."

"Of course. Well then, you better get going if you don't want to be late."

"Yeah. I'll talk to you later?"

"Sure thing! Good luck."

 

Juho smiled and offered a small wave as Seokwoo turned and began taking large strides in the direction of his work. The twist was back as he admired his tall, lean figure from behind. That wasn't weird he assured himself and turned away before it reached that point. The entire walk back to campus his head was filled with thoughts of Seokwoo. How he covered his mouth when he laughed at the start of their conversation and then let his boxy smile shine through by the end. The way the sun filtering in from the window behind him highlighted the honeyed glow of his skin and his broad shoulders when he sat up straight. Juho realised despondently that he had a big fat crush and couldn't even do anything about it. But on the bright side, he wouldn't have to hide it from his friends since they already thought the pair were dating.

Sanghyuk was obviously still out on his date by the time Juho got back to his dorm, but the silence that he usually craved wasn't what he needed right now. He needed to vent to someone about these feelings that he hadn't experienced in over four years, and his best friend who would be his usual first port-of-call wasn't available. So he went for the next best thing. 

 

_"Juho, to what do I owe the pleasure of a phone call on a Saturday afternoon?"_

"Are you free at the moment? I need to talk to someone and Sanghyuk is MIA."

_"Of course, you know I'll always make time for you. The mad lot are not here so you can come over and I'll make tea if you want?"_

"That sounds great, I'll be there in like fifteen minutes. Thanks Youngbin."

_"Anytime, see you shortly!"_

 

Youngbin still shared with Inseong and Jaeyoon, five years after they first met. It was fate that brought them together and friendship that kept them stuck together like glue. And Juho loved the other two, really he did. They never failed to be able to bring a smile to his face, and Inseong especially put up with some of his more eccentric focus tactics. But at times like this when he just needed to rant about something without interruption and not be judged at the end, Youngbin was the one he knew he could trust. The elder was so level-headed and gentle, he was almost like the leader of their little friend group. Which was exactly why Juho felt comfortable enough to tell him everything, fake dating and all. It took a while to unpack all his tangled feelings but they got there, two cups of tea later.

 

"So if you like him and he agreed to go on a fake date with you, why do you think he wouldn't say yes to a real date?"

"He might, which obviously would be amazing, but you know what final year is like. I can barely find time to eat and sleep among all my assignments, never mind keeping a relationship going. I just couldn't do that to him."

 

His older friend nodded thoughtfully, and Juho was grateful he didn't try to push the matter further. It stung a little, the knowledge that he might lose the chance to get to know Seokwoo better because of school, but he had worked way too hard for the last three and a half years to let anyone come between him and his final grade. Some of his classmates thought he was too hard on himself, he was only human too after all, but Juho wasn't just thinking of himself. He was the kind of person who had to give 110% to his priority, which right now was studying. There was just nothing left for him to give in a relationship and that wasn't going to be fair on the other person who was part of it. 

 

"Juho, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but - did we really put so much pressure on you that you felt your only option was to lie to us?"

 

His head shot up from where he had been staring into his empty mug to see the guilty look on Youngbin's face. He was quick to reassure his friend it wasn't like that. But he could see that he hadn't been very convincing from the way Youngbin bit his lower lip and his hands trembled a little. It was obvious the elder felt responsible in some way for all of their health and happiness, and Juho felt a pain in his gut realising he was causing this unnecessary guilt.

 

"Look, I know you guys don't mean to, but sometimes all the blind dates and talking about my lack of a dating life went too far. I mean, I'm totally happy being single and just focusing on my work. I'll have plenty of time for relationships once I'm out of university and don't have exams and thesis statements always on my mind."

"We know that, and we understand how much getting the top of your class means to you. But it's just - from the moment we met you, you were so in love with the idea of soulmates. It's not that we mean to distract you from your work, but more that we didn't want you possibly missing out on meeting your soulmate because you had your head so deep in your books that you never got to look around and see them."

 

Unconsciously his hand trailed down and rested on his upper thigh where, beneath his denim jeans, his soulmark was imprinted onto his skin. None of his friends had ever seen it. He had seen Youngbin's dove on his foot, Inseong's cherry blossom above his bellybutton, Jaeyoon's paw prints running up the back of his calf, Sanghyuk's sun behind his ear, Taeyang's musical notes that wrapped around his upper bicep, Hwiyoung's owl on the inside of his knee and Chani's bow and arrow above his heart. But none of them were as taken with the concept of soulmates as Juho. Knowing that there was someone out there in this very moment with an identical mark on their skin to him, living their life unknown to him, but destined to be the one person who would understand him better than anyone else ever could - it was beyond comprehension. The others didn't mind showing off their soulmarks, confident that whether the person they ended up with was their soulmate or not it wouldn't diminish their feelings for them. But for Juho it was different, he wanted the only one to see his mark to be someone he was ready to dedicate himself to fully. 

It was childish he knew, but it was something his heart just couldn't let go of. He knew that realistically if he met someone he truly clicked with and they weren't his soulmate it wouldn't change anything between them, but he could still hold out hope and dream. 

He realised he had been sitting in silent thought for too long and was going to break the silence and thank Youngbin for everything, but he didn't get a chance. The door to Youngbin's apartment flew open and the noise level tripled. Inseong and Jaeyoon were home. They barrelled into the living room and exclaimed in delight seeing Juho there. Jaeyoon dropped his bag in the middle of the floor and launched himself at the younger sitting on the couch. Juho was fortunately prepared for the impact, after over two years of knowing the extremely clingy nature of his friend.

 

"Juju~ this is the first time you have been in our dorm in ages, and we weren't even here!"

"That was probably the point Jae, he didn't want to deal with you."

"Me?! How dare you! That's not true, right Juju?"

"I thought I asked you not to call me that."

"But it's cuteeee~"

 

Juho fought hard but the smile broke out across his face against his well, earning a cheer from the man in his lap. It was hard not to smile around Jaeyoon though, he was just like an energiser bunny. Inseong also squished himself onto the couch beside him and gave him a tight squeeze. Inseong more than any of the others understood his study struggles, having done a double major himself. After Youngbin convinced them to let go of Juho before he passed out from lack of oxygen, they both bounced off to put their things in their rooms before returning with claims that they were starving.

 

"You guys were literally just out, did you not eat?"

"No. We were going to get food on the way back but we couldn't decide on a place and we argued the whole way until we realised we were outside the dorm building and then it was too late to turn around."

"So we're going to order takeout! Juho, are you going to stay for dinner?"

 

Inseong beamed at him, phone held up in one hand like it was the most precious thing in the world. He considered the offer, knowing that if he went back to his own dorm he would just end up doing the same thing but alone. So he nodded and in five minutes they had decided on a restaurant and placed their order. Bless delivery services was all Juho thought. The four of them set the table and Jaeyoon insisted on opening a bottle of wine despite Youngbin's protests. Juho laughed and accepted a glass, it was likely to be the only drink he would have until after his final exams were finished in four months time. 

The food arrived in no time and they all tucked in, sharing stories and simply enjoying each others company. Juho felt a great deal calmer after spending time with his friends, even though they weren't the calmest of people. After cleaning up Inseong declared a movie night and put out a call in the group chat saying they were starting in thirty-two minutes exactly. Taeyang and Chani were busy with dance friends, and Sanghyuk also made an excuse for what Juho knew meant he was still with Nayoung. Hwiyoung agreed to come and arrived at the dorm twenty minutes later with microwavable popcorn in hand.

For a relatively small student apartment, the five of them fit in front of the tv quite comfortably. Juho was squished between Youngbin and Hwiyoung on the couch while Inseong and Jaeyoon had dragged blankets from their bedrooms for the floor. The film was some cheesy action comedy, nothing special but just engaging enough to keep Juho's attention on the screen and help him relax and laugh at the ridiculous scenarios the protagonist got into. 

It wasn't overly late when the film ended, but Hwiyoung was half asleep on Juho's shoulder. They teased him about it and he pouted, explaining he had been up late finishing an assignment the night before. Juho patted him on the head consolingly before Inseong pulled him off the couch and onto the floor to cuddle him into submission. The younger boy complained but didn't fight back. They all knew he not-so-secretly enjoyed being babied from time to time. Juho got up and stretched his stiff limbs before hurrying to the bathroom. He splashed his face with cool water and looked at himself in the mirror. The face staring back at him looked considerably less stressed and guilty than it had that morning, but his chest still twinged at the memory of his lunch with Seokwoo. He was contemplating whether he should send him a text when he heard his name being called from the living room.

 

"Juho, your phone is ringing!"

"One second!"

"Who's Seokwoo?"

 

Panic hit him hearing Jaeyoon say that name out loud. He bolted out of the bathroom towards the living room and Jaeyoon must have seen something on his face because he grinned wickedly before answering the call and moving away from Juho.

 

"Hello, you've reached Juho's phone. Who's calling?"

"Jae give it to me."

"Seokwoo? Hmmmm, I've never heard of you before, are you sure you have the right number?"

"Jaeyoon please."

 

At this stage the two of them were running around the living room, Juho trying to get his phone and Jaeyoon trying to keep it away from him. Inseong was laughing from his place on the floor wrapped around Hwiyoung, who looked like he wanted to get up and help - but which side he wanted to help wasn't certain. Juho continued pleading with his friend while Jaeyoon teased and drew out his questions over the phone, while Youngbin was nowhere to be seen. 

 

"You know if this is a booty call you really have the wrong person. Our Juho isn't interested in one-night stands or the like."

"Oh my god - SEOKWOO JUST HANG UP PLEASE!"

"You - what?"

 

Jaeyoon stopped dead in his tracks and Juho crashed into him at speed, knocking him to the floor and wrestling the phone from his grasp. He scrambled to his feet and ran back to the bathroom where he locked himself in and sunk to the floor, slightly out of breath and having a minor panic attack. He saw the call was still connected, and with shaking hands he brought the phone up to his ear.

 

"Seokwoo?"

_"Hey Juho, are you alright?"_

"Yeah fine, why do you ask?"

_"You just sound a little shaken."_

"Ah, sorry, I'm just not used to running is all."

_"That's fair, I'm sure I would probably be the same."_

 

Juho could hear the smile in his voice even over the phone, and just that thought began to calm his heart down from its rapid pace. There was a moment of silence when Juho was still hyper-aware of how loud his breathing must sound over the phone, and he wondered why Seokwoo had called in the first place. In his current state though, apparently, his internal thoughts didn't stay internal.

 

_"Well, I just wanted to check in and make sure you weren't dying from study overload or anything."_

"Oh - um, thanks. I didn't actually get any study done though. I came over to my friend's dorm and we had tea and then my other friends came around for dinner and a movie."

_"That sounds nice, I think you deserved a day off from what you told me about your awful last two weeks."_

"Thank you. Uh, did you make it to your studio on time?"

_"I did thankfully, the director ended up being ten minutes late anyway so I would have been fine. I'm actually just finished for the day."_

"Ah I see, that was a long afternoon for you."

_"It wasn't too bad, I've done much longer shoots before. I'm going to get food now and then go home and sleep for ten hours."_

"That sounds like a good plan. Saturday nights are made for being lazy."

_"I agree, we're too old for going out and partying until all hours of the morning anymore."_

"You make it sound like we're ancient."

_"25 is half-way to 50! It's about time we started to slow down a little and leave the mad escapades to the kids."_

 

He laughed with Seokwoo over the phone, the signal not doing his full and warm laughter justice. But Juho had the real thing in his memory, and it made him smile even wider thinking about it. They spoke for another few minutes about inconsequential things, Juhos heart finally returning to a healthy pace and his hands were no longer shaking. It was in another one of their brief pauses in conversation that there was a knock on the bathroom door and he remembered the situation he was in.

 

"Oh, I think my friends are looking for me."

_"The same ones you were chasing around to get your phone back?"_

"That was Jaeyoon, he's awful."

_"I'm sure that's not true."_

"You're right, he's lovely. But he can be a pain in the ass sometimes."

_"Hey, that's what friends are for."_

 

Another knock on the door and this time he heard Hwiyoung timidly calling his name from the other side. Juho sighed and reluctantly stood up from his position on the floor. He groaned as his muscles protested and Seokwoo made a concerned noise.

 

" _Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?"_

"No no I'm fine, I just have creaky joints."

_"Like I said, we're old geezers now."_

"Ok, I agree with you on that. I should probably go, my friends are not exactly the most patient."

_"I understand that, don't worry. Have a nice evening Juho."_

"You too Seokwoo, enjoy your meal. And thanks for calling."

_"Any time. Bye~"_

 

 

Juho ended the call and took a deep breath to steady himself before unlocking the bathroom door and opening it. Hwiyoung was standing there looking confused but smiled at him anyway. They walked back to the living room in comfortable silence where Juho saw Jaeyoon still in the same spot on the floor that he had left him in, while Inseong crouched beside him. Youngbin was still nowhere to be seen. They both turned to look at Juho when he walked in and he couldn't quite place a word on the expression on his two older friends faces.

 

"Where did Youngbin go?"

"He got a call from Taeyang, something to do with dancing and he rushed off in a hurry."

"Oh ok, I hope everything is alright."

"YOU'RE DATING ANOTHER GUY?"

"-what?"

 

The panic that had been erased by hearing Seokwoo's voice over the phone began swelling and growing in his chest again. Scandalised and hurt were the emotions he decided his friends were feeling which he could understand. The problem was that he had been hoping to keep his thing with Seokwoo between just Youngbin and Sanghyuk until he could put an end to the lie. Now though, that didn't seem likely to happen. Preparing himself for the questioning he knew was about to come, he walked over to the dinner table and refilled his glass of wine before making his way to the couch. He was going to need it. 

 

"What do you mean another? I'm barely dating the one I told you about."

"Then who is this Seokwoo and why did he claim you were dating?"

"Wait - he said we were dating?"

"Uh, yeah? Which is a bit of a shock seeing as just a few weeks ago you told us you were seeing someone called Rowoon."

"Oh - funny story I guess. Rowoon is just his stage name, his real name is Seokwoo. I didn't tell you guys because I didn't want Chani or Hwiyoung stalking him."

"Hey, I promised I would have stopped Chani from doing that."

"And as much as I appreciated it, we all knew that wasn't going to happen."

 

Suddenly there was a whole 182cm of Jaeyoon in his lap on the couch. Juho barely managed to save his wine from spilling out of the glass. Inseong was calmer and sat on the coffee table facing Juho with a determined look in his eyes. This was really getting blown way out of proportion.

 

"Ok mister, you have five minutes to explain everything or else."

"I really don't understand why you guys have to know everything, because there isn't even that much to tell. We met a few weeks ago at a music thing, he was nice but I didn't really think I would see him again because I'm so busy with final year. But today I had a free day because I have no assignments for a little while so we met for lunch. And that's really it."

"Are you going to see him again?"

"Yeah! Twice is nice but three times is how you know for sure."

"I can't say guys. I'm going to be run off my feet with work for the next few months I just don't think I have the time to date."

"Well, he sounded pretty confident in saying he was dating you, and that was after only two meetings!"

"Ok ok, let's pretend that time and studying and all that crap isn't a factor here, ok? Do you want to see him again?"

 

Juho thought of Seokwoo's smile and his laugh, how nice his voice sounded when he was telling a story or how actively he engaged and listened to Juho. They had similar tastes in music, and of course, the taller was extremely handsome. And he was apparently willing to play along with this fake-dating thing just to help Juho out of a sticky situation. He knew what his answer to Inseong's question really was, but he didn't want to get their hopes up when this wasn't even a real thing.

 

"I mean, it would be nice to get to know him a little more, but I can't just pretend I don't have things that are far more important than dating right now."

 

His face must have given his true feelings away though because Inseong's face completely softened and he gave him a pat on the head. Jaeyoon buried his head in his neck while Hwiyoung hovered awkwardly beside the couch, but gave him a reassuring smile. Curse his expressive face, he was never going to be able to make this go away quietly now. They fortunately didn't try to pester him any more about Seokwoo which he was grateful for. Instead, they put another movie on and made themselves comfortable again.

By the time the movie was over it had gotten quite late, and as much as he didn't want to leave the warmth and comfort of the cuddle pile with his friends Juho knew he needed to go back to his own dorm. He had to sleep off his two glasses of wine so he could make a decent attempt at doing more work tomorrow. So he extracted himself from underneath Jaeyoon's legs in his lap and made sure not to step on Hwiyoung where he was lying on the floor. Inseong waved him a groggy goodbye as he slipped out and headed for his own bed. 

The lights were on in the sitting room when he got back to his own dorm, which meant that Sanghyuk must have come back. Quietly, not wanting to wake his roommate up, Juho washed up and crept into his own room and shut the door before allowing himself to let out a long sigh. He should never have run with this lie, it was turning into a big thing that he really didn't have the time or energy to keep up. Maybe he could convince Youngbin to help him come up with an excuse to get him out of this mess. It could wait until tomorrow though, all Juho wanted right now was his comfortable bed. He reached over to plug his phone into the charger and unread messages flashed back at him. They were from Seokwoo.

 

_[10:54 pm] Seokwoo_

< I'm heading to bed now, it has been a long day!

< Goodnight, I hope you sleep well!

 

Juho was left staring at his screen until it went dark again. How was he supposed to respond to that? Should he respond at all? Maybe he should pretend he had fallen asleep already and message him back in the morning. But his stomach was filled with butterflies and his heart skipped a beat when he read them again, and Juho knew he was screwed. So, he sent a careful response before putting his phone on silent and turning away from it. He fell asleep with Seokwoo's smile on his mind.

 

_[11:12 pm] Seokwoo_

> It definitely was. Thank you again for helping me out today. Goodnight, sweet dreams.

 

He woke up slowly the next morning, which was a nice change from his usual 6 am alarm blaring at him to get up and go study. Juho took the time to stretch after getting out of bed and trudged to the kitchen still not fully awake. There was a strong smell of coffee and he smiled when he saw Sanghyuk making pancakes at their stove. He surprised him with a back hug which caused his best friend to almost have a heart attack before bursting into laughter. Juho helped him finish breakfast and they ate it on the couch watching Sunday morning television. There was an air of domesticity and Juho was struck once again by how used to this he had gotten. Always having someone to wake up to in the morning and talk to about insignificant things. He really had been blessed to have a roommate and best friend like Sanghyuk these last almost four years, and maybe it was the residual alcohol in his system from the night before but he felt so overcome with emotion at the thought of leaving in a few months.

 

"Juho, are you crying? You know the dog isn't really sick right? It's just a tv show, he'll get better by the end of it."

"It's not that, I'm just going to miss you when we graduate."

 

Sanghyuk seemed lost for words at Juho's teary admission. It wasn't like he had never seen him upset before. Juho was a very emotional person and cried often at movies, but this was different he supposed. His best friend set their mugs and plates down on the coffee table and moved closer on the couch to give him a hug. They stayed like that for a while, Juho stifling his sobs against Sanghyuks shoulder while his friend gently rubbed his back and held him close. Eventually, the overwhelming emotion passed and Juho pulled back slightly.

 

"Sorry Hyuk."

"Never apologise for your feelings, promise me?"

"Ok."

 

He gave a watery smiled and they returned to having their breakfast, sides pressed together and savouring the company. After they finished and cleaned up Juho went back to his room to get dressed. It was only as he was packing his bag to go to the library and he took his phone off charge that he remembered the mess he was in. Seokwoo had sent him another message.

 

_[9:04 am] Seokwoo_

< Good morning! I have another long day at the studio today. Make sure you eat plenty while you're studying!

 

Seokwoo was so genuinely sweet and caring that Juho had no idea how to respond. Considering he was just doing Juho a favour by pretending to be his date for Sanghyuk's sake, he really was putting a lot of effort in. Then Juho remembered yesterday evening, and that Seokwoo had apparently told Jaeyoon they were dating too. Was he really just dedicating himself to this acting role, or was there something else? As much as he wished he could be excited at the prospect of such a tall, handsome guy being interested in him instead all it brought was dread. Juho had no time to give to a relationship, he didn't want to hurt anyone by being so distant. While he was still staring at the messages, Sanghyuk came into the room to fetch him.

 

"You ready to go? I know it's Sunday but since exams are coming up it might be getting a little busier."

 

Juho was snapped out of his head state and nodded, telling his roommate he would be out in a minute. Sanghyuk gave him a weird look but didn't push, instead just leaving towards the door with his own bag already swung over his shoulders. Juho sent a quick response to Seokwoo, not wanting to seem rude, and then grabbed his own bag of study materials and hurrying out of his room. He had a lot to do today and couldn't afford to be distracted, so he turned his phone off and told Sanghyuk on the walk to the library so he wouldn't worry.

 

_[9:33 am] Seokwoo_

> Goodmorning, good luck in the studio, although I'm sure you'll do great. I'm going to be in the library all day on do not disturb mode just fyi. Have a good day.

 

The day passed in an endless blur of flicking through paper after paper and writing a few hundred words at a time only to delete most of them and start again. It wasn't his fault he was a perfectionist and needed this to be perfect, but at this rate there was no way he was going to make 10,000 words by the deadline in two months time. Sanghyuk was also busy writing lab reports. He had his glasses on and hair pushed back, and Juho smiled at the concentration on his face. At times like this it really showed how dedicated his best friend was to his studies, despite what people might think. They took a quick lunch break around three pm and Sanghyuk texted their friends and promised they were both alive. And then it was back to their books.

Ten pm rolled around a lot faster than either of them would have liked, and Youngbin showed up at their table with Taeyang to drag them both out for food. Juho smiled gratefully as Taeyang supported him with an arm around his waist on their walk home. His back had been acting up recently, probably all the sitting down hunched over a desk. Youngbin let Sanghyuk rant to him about the topic he was trying to write about for dissertation despite not understanding most of what he was saying. That was just the way their friend group was, supportive even when they had no idea what was going on. 

Chani was lying on their couch when Sanghyuk and Juho arrived back at their dorm. He merely pointed toward the table where a bag from the Chinese takeout sat and neither of them had the mind to scold their youngest friend when he brought them food. They made Chani sit up and then plopped down on either side of him, putting on the tv just for background noise as they ate. The youngest would occasionally steal some food off their plates, but they were suckers for his puppy eyes so let him be. When they had finally sated their stomachs, Chani claimed his work was done and vacated the dorm. Juho rolled his eyes while Sanghyuk yelled after him before laughing. He acted like a tsundere but they all knew he really did care.

The roommates washed up together and ran through their class schedule for tomorrow, even though Juho knew they had both learned each other's off by heart at this stage. Still, it was nice to know that if anything happened he would know exactly where his best friend was if he needed him. As they were making their way to their own rooms after saying goodnight, Sanghyuk suddenly stopped and called out to him.

 

"Ah, Juho wait a second."

"What's up?"

"How does this Thursday suit you and Seokwoo to do this escape room? Nayoung doesn't have rehearsals and my lab will be finished early so it suits us both."

"Oh, well I don't have anything other than studying, but I'll have to check with Seokwoo and see if he's free."

"Ok, tell me when you find out? There's a slot at eight thirty that they said they would hold for us until lunchtime tomorrow if we want it."

"Alright, I'll ask him and let you know. Goodnight Sanghyuk."

"Night Juho."

 

He got into his room and dropped his bag by his desk before throwing himself face down on the matress, this really wasn't going his way at all. But he was too deep now to tell thim it's not real. They would do this one 'date' and then he would convince his friends that he didn't think it was working and Seokwoo wouldn't have to keep lying for him then. Yeah, that was his plan, as much as his heart protested. So he rolled over and found his phone in his bag, powering it on while he got dressed for bed. After settling down under the covers he flicked through the missed notifications he had. Some from their group chat which Sanghyuk had told him about anyway, one from a girl in his class asking what time their tutorial was on Wednesday and a few emails that didn't matter. And of course, messages from Seokwoo.

 

_[9:40 am] Seokwoo_

< No worries, study hard!

_[5:00 pm]_

< Getting a lunch break now, I'm so hungry!

_[9:39 pm]_

< I hope you don't mind me texting you, I'm just trying to look busy so the directors PA doesn't try rope me into dinner with him tonight.

_[10:02 pm]_

< My attempts were successful, I'm going home to stuff my face with noodles and sleep!

 

Juho couldn't help the warmth that spread from his chest knowing that Seokwoo thought of texting him updates during his day. This was dangerous, but if it was only going to be for another few days maybe he could let himself indulge in it a little bit. So he texted back, opening himself up for conversation with the handsome man who only needed 24 hours to steal his heart.

 

_[11:11 pm] Seokwoo_

> You were right when you said you had a long day in the studio, how did it go?

< Great, thanks! I'm really happy with the shots we got today!

< How was your studying? Please tell me you remembered to eat?

> I did, don't worry. Sanghyuk was with me so he made me get lunch, and then two of my other friends dragged us out of the library an hour to get dinner.

> As for the studying...I wrote about two thousand words in total, but I deleted about 1800 of them so.

< I remember that well, and I feel your struggle.

< It gets better though, I promise!

> Thanks, I really hope so.

> I actually have to ask you something.

< Sure, fire ahead!

> Are you free this Thursday, around eight? Sanghyuk and Nayoung want to do the escape room that night.

< Let me check my schedule and I'll get back to you!

< Ok so you're in luck, I'm off that day because they're doing a girls only shoot. So the double date is a go!

> Perfect, I'll let him know in the morning. Thanks again for doing this, you really didn't have to.

< No need to thank me, like I said, I'm happy to help!

< I know how important final year is and having your friend's try set you up on dates every other week can't be good for your concentration.

> They mean well, but yeah it's not great. 

> Anyway, I have class tomorrow so I should go to sleep.

< Yes you should! I have the day off tomorrow but I'm going to sleep too, need my beauty rest after all!

> You're more than handsome enough, don't worry.

> Goodnight Seokwoo.

< Night night! Sleep well!

 

Juho felt calm and content as he put his phone on his bedside locker and curled up under the covers. There was just something about talking to Seokwoo that made him feel like everything was going to work out. It was strange, but there was no way he would argue with it. Now more than ever, he needed that kind of solace in his life. Closing his eyes, he drifted off to sleep quickly, a warmth blossoming in his chest and comforting him through the night.

The next few days were business as usual for Juho, classes and assignments and attempting to write more words for his thesis anywhere and everywhere he got the chance. There was only one thing different this week than every previous week this year, and all three years before this too. And that was daily messages from Seokwoo. The content of the messages wasn't overly special, but the fact that Seokwoo sent him a good morning and good night message every day was special in itself. But what was more important was that Juho didn't feel pressured to return the messages, but instead he wanted to. It took all of thirty seconds to compose the text and send it, and it left Juho in a positive mood for the rest of the day and as he slept at night. And by Thursday, people had started to notice. 

 

"Hey Juho, are you going to the library tonight? I want to run through this reading list with someone."

"Actually no, I'm busy this evening. Sorry Sally, but if you send a picture of it to me I can check it for you if you want?"

"No no don't worry about it, I'll go grab Jinwoo and drag him with me."

"Good idea, but you guys might need a step ladder to reach the high shelves."

 

She slapped his arm and he laughed brightly. Sally had been a good friend to him since their first year, and outside of his regular group she was probably the one person he trusted most. Mostly because she couldn't care less about drama and was dedicated to her studies. If Juho didn't get top of the class when they graduated, it would be because Sally beat him to it. They were walking to their final class of the day and chatting about the workload and the struggles of writing. 

 

"So, what has you busy? I don't think you've done anything that could be considered fun since the summer party in first year."

"I would say I'm offended but it's true so I can't really. Sanghyuk is dragging me to the new escape room in town."

"Oooh I really want to go to that, but they only do groups of four and I only have one friend."

"Awww, you have more friends than just me."

"What makes you think I was talking about you? I meant Soyee."

 

Now it was Juho's turn to scoff while she cackled at his expression. This was another thing Juho really appreciated about Sally; her sense of humour was savage and perfectly matched his. They sat at the top of the lecture theatre, diligently taking notes and asking questions throughout. An hour truly wasn't enough time for some of these concepts, and Juho groaned and rolled his shoulders when the lecturer called time. Everyone packed away their things and Juho and Sally walked out together griping about the difficulty of the course. Juho had originally planned on going to the library for an hour before going home to get ready for his 'date', but his back was starting to pain him and Sally convinced him to rest.

 

"If you end up in the hospital with back problems because you're a stubborn asshole you're going to miss actual lectures. Go home, you can study on your bed if you're that pushed."

 

He rolled his eyes but smiled and gave her a quick hug anyway. There was a time when some of his friends believed him to be dating Sally because of how close they were and the time they spent together. But neither of them had a romantic interest in one another anyway, and they didn't particularly mind the rumours. If he hadn't seen the peacock on Sally's hip, Juho might have thought she was his soulmate because they just got one another so well. Instead, they were just great friends and academic rivals, vying for the top spot while also cheering one another on. It was a good relationship to have, and he wouldn't change it for a thing.

Sanghyuk was already back when he got home, and Nayoung was there too. He greeted her and she shot him a megawatt smile, obviously very excited about finally being able to do this escape room. Juho didn't really get the hype around them, but he was happy to help his best friend out, even if it did mean having to bring a fake date too. He changed out of the comfortable hoodie that he wore for classes and instead put on a nice bomber jacket Inseong had bought him for his birthday. Although he didn't really want to seem like he was making an effort, the thought of meeting Seokwoo again did have his head in a bit of a tizzy. So he lined his eyes lightly with charcoal and styled his hair up away from his forehead. Just as he was deciding which earrings to wear, his phone began to buzz. He answered it without checking the caller id, and almost dropped it when he heard who was on the other end.

 

_"Hey Juho, I'm not disturbing you, am I?"_

"No not at all, I'm just getting dressed right now. What's up?"

_"I just wanted to ask if we're planning on getting food before hand or should I eat before I meet you guys?"_

"That's a good question, let me go ask Sanghyuk what they had planned, hang on."

 

Phone still against his ear he walked out into the living room where Sanghyuk and Nayoung were chatting on the couch. Upon seeing him Sanghyuk let out a wolf-whistle and Juho quickly shushed him and gestured to the phone, but Sanghyuk just grinned wider at that at started talking at the top of his voice.

 

"Juhooo look at you all dressed up! Are you trying to impress someone?"

"Shut up. Are we doing dinner before the escape room or what's the plan?"

"Well Hyukkie and I had a pretty late lunch, so we were just going to get something afterwards. But if you and Seokwoo are hungry you guys can get food first and we'll just meet you at the place."

_"I haven't eaten since midday so I definitely need to eat first. What do you think?"_

"Yeah, I could definitely do dinner too. Any ideas?"

"There's a cute sushi place just across the street from the escape room, or the pizza parlour down the block is pretty good too."

_"Sushi is great but I don't think anything can beat a good pizza."_

"Glad we're on the same wavelength. I'll meet you there in like, twenty minutes or so?"

_"Sounds like a plan. Say thanks to Nayoung for being helpful will you?"_

"Sure thing. Hey, Nayoung, Seokwoo says thanks for being helpful."

"You're welcome Seokwoo!"

"Hey! What about me?"

"No."

_"So, see you in twenty minutes?"_

"Yeah, see you then. Bye Seokwoo."

 

He ended the call and Sanghyuk started complaining that he had been ignored. Nayoung just laughed at him before giving Juho the address of the pizza parlour which he thanked her for again. He went back to his room and grabbed his wallet and keys before heading out, waving to the couple on the couch and saying he would see them in a little while. It was a nice warm evening and not that far into the city, so Juho walked and enjoyed the fresh air. His back was still a little bit sore but as long as he didn't strain it too much and slept well tonight it should be fine. Maybe he would ask Taeyang to give him a massage this weekend. The younger had an extensive knowledge of all the muscles and what stretches were good for what. The perks of being a dancer Juho thought.

As predicted, it only took him twenty minutes to reach the pizza place. It was closer to the college campus than the escape room, which was on the far end of the block. But with his rumbling stomach Juho didn't mind too much, and pulled out his phone to text Seokwoo and see where he was. He had just pressed send when he heard a voice calling his name. Turning towards the sound, he spotted Seokwoo waving and walking towards him dressed in a light blue sweater tucked into tight black jeans. Juho swallowed harshly as he meekly waved back. It really wasn't fair, he knew Seokwoo was handsome and a model, but he looked even better dressed up like this than he had on their first meeting. Praying he wouldn't come across as weird, he smiled when they were finally standing in front of one another.

 

"Hi, you look great."

"Oh, thanks. Nothing compared to you though."

"Hey, don't say that."

"Do you want to go inside? I'm starving."

 

Seokwoo smiled and nodded, and Juho led the way inside. It wasn't too busy, so they were shown to a table straight away. As their waiter showed them over they passed a table of girls that Juho vaguely recognised from around campus. They all let out gasps as the pair passed by and started whispering between themselves. Juho suddenly felt very self-conscious about his looks, being here with Seokwoo. They finally sat down at their table, and Juho was facing towards the table of girls. He hid his face behind his menu as he looked over the options, trying not to feel overwhelmed. 

 

"Are you alright?"

"Fine thanks, just can't wait for food."

 

Juho knew his voice sounded strained but he was trying not to let it show. At least this would be the last time something like this would happen. After tonight he would have done Sanghyuk his favour and he could put an end to this ridiculous fake dating thing. So lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice Seokwoo reaching out to him until he felt a warm touch on his right hand and jumped up so their eyes met. 

 

"I can promise you, those girls are not laughing at you."

"Wha- that's not -"

"Yes it is, I can see it on your face. But trust me, ok?"

"Well, then why do they keep looking over here and whispering?"

"I let Seoham choose my outfit for tonight, and in hindsight, that wasn't a great idea."

"What are you talking about? You look amazing."

"Thanks, but I mean this jumper. It's kind of, well, missing a bit at the back." 

"Missing a bit?"

 

Seokwoo smiled at him sheepishly and turned slightly to the side to show Juho what he meant. He couldn't help but raise his eyes at the very obvious section of material that was missing from the back of his jumper, which was tied together with a string. But what was more shocking was the fact that Seokwoo wasn't wearing anything under his jumper, and his tanned back was on display for anyone to see. In an attempt not to come across as weird about it, Juho coughed to clear his throat and did what he would do to his friends in this kind of situation; make a sarcastic comment.

 

"I know it's almost summer time, but are you not a bit chilly in that?"

 

He received a raised eyebrow in return for his comment as Seokwoo turned back around in his chair and began consulting the menu himself. Juho just grinned and began deciding on what he wanted to eat too, now that his minor panic had been averted. In the end, they decided to get an extra large pizza to share with chicken, sweetcorn and peppers. They discovered that Seokwoo was pro-pineapple on pizza while Juho was against it, a difference that they bantered and laughed about. Juho was surprised at how easily he got along with the taller male despite only knowing him for a few days. Their conversation just flowed easily and even when the food arrived and they were stuffing their faces, he didn't feel embarrassed or self-conscious around him. 

They finished their food at five past eight, and Juho got a text from Sanghyuk saying they were already at the escape room and not to be late. Seokwoo laughed when he saw the message but agreed they should probably begin to make their way down. Juho quickly went to the bathroom before they left, needing the chance to take a breather and remind himself that this wasn't real. Seokwoo was just helping him out, and he couldn't let himself get too attached. Because after tonight, he really had no reason to see him again.

Back in the restaurant, Seokwoo had left the table and Juho spotted him standing just inside the door waiting for him. He walked towards him, trying not to feel bothered by the stares and whispers of the table of girls who somehow were still eating their pizzas. When he reached him, Seokwoo smiled gently and began heading for the exit.

 

"Ah hold on, what about the bill?"

"I got it already, come one we're going to be late."

 

And with that Seokwoo was out the door, but he held it open and waited for Juho to leave too. Quickly he hurried outside, flush in the face and confused why Seokwoo would cover their bill. When questioned, he just shrugged and said it was no big deal, which Juho couldn't find words to argue against. They walked side-by-side down the street in the direction of the escape room, continuing to talk about everything and nothing all at once. It was comfortable and easy, the way Juho found himself laughing freely at Seokwoo's jokes and wanting to make him laugh in return. When their destination was in sight, Seokwoo gently touched Juho's wrist, like a question.

 

"Everything alright?"

"I just want to make sure I don't mess this up for you. How did you tell your friends we met?"

"Oh right, ummm I told them we met at a music event a couple of weeks ago. Have you heard of Rookiez?"

"The performance group? Yeah actually, I was at their show."

"Wait, seriously? How did I not see you there?"

"As far as your friends know, you did."

 

They shared a look and burst into laughter at the enormity of the coincidence. Sanghyuk and Nayoung were standing outside waiting for them as they walked up. For a moment Juho thought his friend was going to scold him for cutting it so close, but his eyes flicked between him and Seokwoo and he stayed silent. The four of them walked in together, Nayoung asking them how their food was. Seokwoo was a great conversationalist and easily began chatting to her and thanking her again for her suggestion. Sanghyuk checked them in and they had to sign a few forms before being brought into the safety briefing room, and then the night really began.

Now, Juho would consider himself a pretty intelligent person. He always did very well in school and was currently on track to graduate top of his class, but this escape room was not made for people like him. It was all riddles and tricks and obscure puzzles that seemed to have no logical answer. Sanghyuk was even worse than he was, being a biology major where everything was defined and made perfect sense, none of this worked in his head. Their dates, on the other hand, were like experts at this. Nayoung especially was on fire, knowing exactly what to do and where to look when faced with certain puzzles, while Seokwoo figured out some of the more obscure ones and was a great help with reaching up and pulling things down of the walls. They escaped within their allotted time, but Juho felt totally humiliated by how useless he had been.

But there was a silver lining though. Seokwoo's jumper stayed in place most of the time, but when he had to reach up or bend down to get things it slipped and exposed more than just his back. Which left Juho sweating slightly, because not only was Seokwoo tall and had a handsome face, he was also really fit. At one point Sanghyuk had to slap his shoulder to snap him out of staring at Seokwoo and his exposed stomach. It was possibly more embarrassing than not being able to do any of the puzzles, but at least only his best friend had seen his panicked gay make an appearance. 

They thanked the staff as they left, and were given a little token each for successfully escaping from the room. Juho caught one of the female staff members ogling Seokwoo as they were signing the visitor's log and stood closer to him on the way out. It wasn't jealousy he assured himself, he couldn't be jealous since they weren't really dating after all. That realisation struck him like a punch to the gut when they were back out on the street. Now that this was over, he had no reason to see Seokwoo again. And as ridiculous as it was, he wanted to draw out this night for as long as possible.

 

"That was so much fun! Thank you guys for agreeing to come, I'm so happy we got to do it."

"It's probably a good think Juho brought Seokwoo because the two of us were useless."

"Don't say that Hyukkie! You guys were great motivators."

 

Nayoung and Sanghyuk shared such a warm and loving smiled that Juho had to look away. If anyone deserved this blissful happiness it was his best friend, but Juho couldn't help the ugly twist in his stomach. But then there was a hand on his shoulder and he glanced up to see Seokwoo watching him with a gentle look on his face, and the awful feeling turned into butterflies, fluttering at the heat and weight of Seokwoo's hand on him. 

 

"We never got dessert after our pizza, would you like to get ice-cream with me?"

 

Juho couldn't do anything other than nod at the suggestion. Anything to extend this last meeting he would have with Seokwoo, even if there was a part of his brain screaming at him to go home and do more work. The bright smiled and gentle squeeze directed his way drowned it out though, and Juho was certain his face was flushed with the attention he was getting from such a handsome man. Behind him he heard Sanghyuk clear his throat, and he turned to see his best friend with his arm around Nayoung's shoulder and watching them. 

 

"We're going to a diner two blocks that way, it stays open late and does small snack food."

"Do they have ice-cream."

"Absolutely! Sundaes and milkshakes, you name it."

"Sounds good. Will we go there too?"

 

Seokwoo's voice was warm and inviting and Juho agreed in a heartbeat. He wasn't the biggest fan of ice-cream but he would happily go just to spend time with the man beside him. They all began walking together, Nayoung all-but leading the group. They all talked about the escape room and other things on their walk. It was a mild night and the stars looked so bright twinkling in the sky. Juho bumped into a post, so distracted by the sky that he forgot to watch he was going. Sanghyuk laughed at him while Nayoung at least tried to pretend not to. Seokwoo on the other hand looked a little worried.

 

"Did you hurt yourself?"

"No no, I'm fine don't worry. I just wasn't watching my step."

"The stars are pretty distracting."

"Yeah, I love the sky. It's just so beautiful."

"Here, let me make sure you don't walk into anything else."

 

He was confused for a moment what the taller meant, but then he put a hand on the small of his back and began walking again, leading Juho with gentle pressure. Thankfully it wasn't too bright out because Juho was sure his face was tomato red right now. 

 

"Is this alright?"

"Yeah, thanks."

 

Seokwoo smiled softly at him and Juho thought the shine in his eyes was more beautiful than the stars. They made it to the diner with no further incidents but Juho only watched the stars with half his attention, the rest was focused on the warmth spreading across his entire body from that one spot on his back. It was pretty quiet inside, but it was a Thursday after all. Student nights in their university were Wednesday, and it was too early for anyone coming from clubs to be here yet either. Their waitress showed them to a booth and left them with the two different menus. Sanghyuk and Nayoung both looked at the food one, while Seokwoo shuffled closer to Juho so they could look at the dessert menu together. 

 

"Do you have any preference?"

"I'm actually not a big ice-cream fan, I only really like vanilla."

"That's ok. If you want we can get a brownie or something instead?"

"We?"

"Well I mean, I'm still pretty full from the pizza earlier so I wouldn't eat a whole dish myself, but I need something for my sweet tooth, you know?"

"Ah, I see. Ok then, let's get the brownie and ice-cream and we can share."

 

When the waitress returned they all ordered and then settled into silence. There was some old music playing in the background, like a diner with a jukebox would have been back in the day. Juho was about to turn and say something to Juho when he caught his roommate staring at him. He raised an eyebrow in a silent question, and Sanghyuk just ginned widely. That never meant anything good. He tried to plead with him not to do anything, but it was too late, his best friend was opening his mouth to speak.

 

"So, Seokwoo, I'm afraid I just don't know a lot about you. It's almost like Juho is purposefully keeping information about you from me."

"Well, we are still only getting to know one another, so I suppose that's only fair."

"Yes yes, but I have met you twice now and I think it's about time I learned a few things."

"Like what?"

"Sanghyuk seriously? You are not interrogating him in this retro diner on a Thursday night."

"When else am I going to interrogate him then? I need to make sure the first guy you've dated in four years is right for you Juho."

"Oh yeah bring that up again, thanks."

 

Juho stuck his tongue out at his friend across the table and Sanghyuk did the same, with the addition of putting his thumb to his nose and wiggling his fingers. It was stupidly childish but that was one of Sanghyuk's many great qualities. Seokwoo put a hand on Juho's thigh and it landed right where his soulmark was hidden. That alone caused him to jump so suddenly he banged his knees off the table and almost sent their menu flying into the aisle. Seokwoo quickly retracted his hand and apologised, checking that Juho was alright. 

 

"I'm fine, I just got a shock."

 

Seokwoo looked so guilty that Juho felt bad. Sanghyuk teased from across the table that Seokwoo moved very fast and the taller immediately tried to defend himself, promising it was nothing like that. Their waitress returned with their drinks and set them down on the table, putting a temporary halt in their conversation but Juho could see it on his best friends face that he was not about to let this go. And he was right, unfortunately.

 

"So, Seokwoo. Juho told us that you weren't in college, why is that?"

"I graduated last year, from Ashtown. I actually did something similar to what Juho is studying right now."

"Mmhmm, interesting. And this is only the third time you and Juho have met, correct?"

"Yes, and you have been present for two of those meetings."

"Ok come on, Sanghyuk you're not going to get anything out of this."

"I'm rather enjoying myself actually."

"Alright babe leave them alone, Juho will tell you what he wants to when he's ready."

 

He mouthed a thank you at Nayoung across the table, once again their saviour. The fact that she could so easily handle Sanghyuk said so much about how perfect they were together. Briefly, Juho wondered if she also had a sun behind her ear, but that was far too personal to ask. And whether she did or not had no impact on how well she got along with Sanghyuk, and he could only wish them all the best. They had only been back together for a week after two years apart, but it was like they had never split.

Their food arrived just in time and Sanghyuk gleefully began digging into his chicken wings and sweet potato fries. If Juho hadn't been so full from their dinner earlier he might have been jealous. But as it was, the chocolate brownie they were presented with made his mouth water with anticipation. It looked so good, with fudge sauce poured on top and still warm. Seokwoo held a spoon out to him and he took it happily, ready to devour this chocolate masterpiece. 

In no time at all, they had cleared their plates and Juho let out a satisfied sigh. He hadn't had a brownie in what felt like years. When the bill came to their table Seokwoo tried to take his wallet out to pay but Juho batted his hand away lightly. He was going to pay for this in return for Seokwoo paying for their pizza earlier. No one really wanted to get up from the table after all was done, but it was getting rather late and they all had things to do the next day. 

Outside the diner, it was getting a little chilly, and Juho worried for Seokwoo in his open-backed jumper. It did look incredible on him, but it wasn't really practical for night weather at this time of the year. Which he pointed out with no shame, enjoying the momentary shock on the taller's face at the unexpected compliment. 

 

"Don't worry about me, my apartment is only a ten-minute walk from here. I'll be home and warmed up in no time."

"You better be, can't have you getting sick now."

 

They were both delaying the inevitable goodbye that had to come and it was obvious. Talking about mindless things for another few minutes, it was only when a particularly cold gust of wind came by that Juho knew he was being selfish. He couldn't keep Seokwoo here, and after this he wouldn't have any real reason to see him again. Juho pulled Seokwoo a little further away from the other couple so and spoke quiet enough that he hoped he couldn't be heard.

 

"Thank you again for doing all this for me, it really meant a lot to Sanghyuk to bring Nayoung here."

"Of course, I really enjoyed myself too so it was no hassle at all."

"You should probably head home, it's only going to get colder."

"I know, you're right."

 

There was very little distance between them and if Juho had been a weaker man he might have thrown caution to the wind and leaned in for a kiss. But he couldn't do that. His studies had to come first, and he wouldn't string Seokwoo along knowing he couldn't give him the time he deserved. It hurt and his chest felt tight, but it was the right thing to do. So he took a small step back away from the warmth radiating off the taller man and towards his best friend who he had blatantly lied to all this time just to make him happy. 

 

"Well, goodnight Seokwoo. Good luck with work tomorrow."

"Goodnight Juho, get home safe."

"I will."

 

And with that, he waved goodbye to his 'date' and walked away. He could see Nayoung looking at him with confusion on her face, but he just smiled at her with what he hoped was reassurance. The three of them began their walk back to campus, and when Juho turned his head slightly to look back, Seokwoo was just a figure in the distance. It felt like someone had let all the air out of his lungs, but it was for the best. Seokwoo deserved someone who would be able give him all the good things in the world and dedicate their time to him, and Juho just wasn't that person. 

They left Nayoung at her dorm, the couple sharing a chaste kiss before Sanghyuk and Juho walked the last of the distance to their own dorm. Juho hoped that his friend would read the mood and not ask anything, but he wasn't that lucky.

 

"Did he break up with you? I'll go to his work and break his pretty nose if he hurt you Juho. Just say the word, I'll bring Chani for backup."

"He wasn't my boyfriend Sanghyuk, so we can't break up."

"Then did he hurt you? Because I swear to god -"

"No Hyuk, please. I just - I can't continue to see him. I have to focus on my studies and my thesis if I want to graduate top of my class, you know that. And it wouldn't be fair to Seokwoo to continue dating me when I can't give him the time."

"You're making a huge mistake Juho, I hope you know that."

"Yeah, I do. But this is what I have to do."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. The Middle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry guys but I had to split it again, I reached 21k words on this chapter and there's still so much left to explore so it had to be done!! This has become one of the most amazing fics I have ever had the pleasure to write, and even though it is growing wildly out of hand I hope you're all loving it as much as I am! <3

As Juho came under more and more pressure over the coming months, between assignments and presentations and finalising his thesis, something else changed in his life. Seokwoo stayed around. Despite his distance and pinpoint focus on his studies it didn’t deter the taller from continuing to send encouraging messages during the day, without putting the obligation on him to respond. It was strange, Juho thought, that someone who had been a stranger just a short while ago had seamlessly integrated himself into his life at a time when he thought he would have become more isolated. But in becoming a daily part of Juho’s life, it meant that he naturally came into contact with more of his friends. Not physical contact, of course, Sanghyuk was the only one who had met him in person so far, but digitally.

When he found himself getting a little too stressed to focus, and his heart started beating irregularly fast, Juho ended up calling Seokwoo. There was something about his voice and manner that calmed him down immediately and left him feeling more able to face his next workload. So in that way, Youngbin and Taeyang met Seokwoo. The two dancers had strong-armed their way into Juho’s apartment when they hadn’t seen him in a few days with food and cuddles at the ready. The thing was, he was in the middle of a call when they arrived.

 

“ _I know, but what was I supposed to do? Just let him walk away with my last slice of pizza?”_

“Yes, that’s exactly what you should have done! The guy is pure muscle and could have snapped you in half if he was a meaner person!”

“ _Well, I think my solution worked in my favour.”_

“Only because he didn’t want to get fired for breaking their golden boy! Honestly Seokwoo, yo- oh, hi guys.”

His friends stood in the doorway of his room with matching confusion on their faces. Arms laden with takeout and healthy snacks, they probably had been expecting to find Juho hunched over his desk with a wild look in his eyes, not lying on his bed having a conversation with someone about something not related to studying.

 

_“Is that Sanghyuk? Tell him he owes me ten bucks.”_

“No, it’s not Sanghyuk it’s – wait, why does he owe you money?”

_“Irrelevant, just tell him when you see him. So, who is it then?”_

“It’s my two favourite food-bringers, Taeyang and Youngbin.”

_“Oh, hello! Thanks for feeding Juho.”_

“Um, you’re welcome, I guess? Sorry, who are you talking to Juho?”

“Oh, right. Guys this is Seokwoo.”

_“I assume you’ve told them all my real name at this stage then?”_

“Not willingly, but Jaeyoon can’t keep his mouth shut.”

 

Youngbin was looking at him with a raised eyebrow, as the only insider on the actual situation it made sense that he was questioning what was happening. Taeyang on the other hand looked like he had just been gifted a puppy, his eyes were bright, and a big smile broke out on his face before he sprinted into the room and threw himself on the bed beside Juho, snacks and all.

 

“Hi Seokwoo, I’m Taeyang! It’s nice to finally meet Juho’s secret boyfriend, well, kind of.”

“Since when is he a secret?”

“Well we’ve never met him in person, so it feels like a secret.”

“Hey, I barely get to meet him in person either so tough cookies.”

_“Great, now I want cookies.”_

“Then go eat some.”

_“Can’t, I have a shoot in a few days so I’m dieting.”_

“Why the hell are you dieting? You have no need for it.”

_“It’s a shirtless shoot, they want to see abs.”_

“Wait, so you’re actually a model? I thought Juho was making that up.”

“Hey, why would I lie about that?”

_“The first thing you told them about me was a lie, they have a right to be sceptical.”_

“They asked me what your name was, but they didn’t specify which name, therefore, not lying.”

“Ok ok, Juho this food is going to go cold if we don’t eat it now and I don’t particularly want to have cold noodles today.”

“Fine, I gotta go Seokwoo, food is calling me. You better go eat something too.”

_“Yeah yeah. Enjoy your meal. It was nice to meet you Taeyang and Youngbin!”_

“You too! Bye!”

 

When Juho hung up Taeyang smacked him on the chest in retribution for not introducing them before. Over food the younger continued to question him about why they hadn’t met his ‘boyfriend’ in person yet and complained that he didn’t like being so out of the loop with gossip. Youngbin was mostly silent as they ate, but he didn’t look angry or upset so Juho wasn’t too worried. After they had finished eating and put away all of the snacks they brought to keep him going, Taeyang left first, while Youngbin stayed behind a little longer to talk.

 

“I thought you said you weren’t going to pursue a relationship with him, because of your studies?”

“We’re not in a relationship Youngbin, I really don’t have time for that. He’s just a good friend who is still helping me pretend so the others don’t try set me up on more dates.”

“You’re finishing in a month Juho, what are you going to do then? Is this whole charade going to come to an end and leave you broken hearted?”

“Broke- Listen, Youngbin, I know how much you care about all of us and really I appreciate it so much. But I promise you, there’s nothing to worry about here. Seokwoo is a really amazing person, and a great friend.”

“Do you still want him as more than a friend?”

 

Juho sat back and took a deep breath. He had been trying not to consider his feelings for Seokwoo because he knew he didn’t have time to throw himself into turmoil over it, but Youngbin wasn’t going to let go of this without an answer. So, he took a minute and finally let himself think about the taller male. His bright smile and warm voice and caring personality were the first things that sprang to mind. How he managed to take away Juho’s stress with just a few words and helped him to clear his head when things got too much. How, despite everything, he never demanded more of Juho’s time or attention for himself because he knew how important his degree was to him, but still made sure to send him a message every day. It made his heart clench and his stomach roll, and despite himself a smile broke out on his face.

 

“Juho – you really, really like him.”

“Yeah.”

 

His voice came out a little cracked and next thing he knew he was bundled up in his older friend’s embrace as tears spilled out unwanted. He had never felt like this about anyone before, and it hurt to think that he was probably making a mess of everything.

 

“Why don’t you just tell him?”

“Tell him what? ‘Hey, I know you’re only playing along as my fake boyfriend to keep my friends off my back, but I actually really like you and wouldn’t mind being your real boyfriend. But I can’t actually do couple things with you because I still have a month left in my degree and I’m not going to jeopardise that for anyone, even an incredibly sweet and handsome guy like you.’ Yeah right.”

“Juho, it’s been what, a little over two months since you guys met? And you’ve only met him in person twice, but he still keeps in contact with you. I think he would be willing to wait another month to be with you properly.”

“Three times.”

“What?”

“We’ve met three times.”

 

Youngbin looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate. He knew about their first meeting at the café and their second ‘date’ with Sanghyuk and Nayoung, who had since come out to all their friends that they were seeing each other again. But Juho hadn’t told anyone about their third meeting.

 

It was about a week and a half after they went to the escape room and Juho was in the off-campus library until well after midnight, working on an assignment that was worth five percent of his final grade. He had finished the body of it and decided to leave it at that and make the last edits the next day when he wasn’t sleep deprived. But the problem with utter exhaustion and being distracted by business terms taking up all of his mental capacity was that he didn’t have much attention left to give to his surroundings. Which was how he ended up on the wrong bus heading away from campus and his dorm instead of towards it. He only noticed three stops later when he heard “Ashtown North Campus” instead of “Newport West” over the loudspeaker. In a hurry he disembarked, and the panic began to set in. He was at least forty minutes away from where he needed to be in the middle of the night in an area of the city he was completely unfamiliar with. And to make matters worse there was a group of men hanging around the station who were eyeing him up in a way that made it hard to breathe and had started slowly walking towards him. So, he called the only person he could think of.

 

_“Juho? It’s one AM, is everything ok?”_

“Hey, I just got off the bus, are you almost here?”

_“Bus? Wha- Juho what’s going on? Are you in trouble?”_

“Yeah. I know it was ahead of schedule, sorry I should have warned you.”

_“Where are you? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”_

“The North Campus bus stop, this was where we agreed to meet right?”

_“You’re in Ashtown? At this time of night? Oh f- all right I’m going to tell you where to go ok? Just follow my directions and I’ll be there soon.”_

Despite the panic audible in Seokwoo’s voice, Juho felt calmer talking to him. The group of guys were still watching him but kept their distance since he had been on the phone. Seokwoo gave Juho directions to Ashtown’s campus library while he could hear sounds of him getting dressed and going outside in the background. They spoke about inconsequential things, more to keep him calm than anything else. He was being followed, at a distance that still wasn’t comfortable but didn’t make him feel like he was going to throw up any time soon.

The library came into sight but there was no one outside. He stood at the bottom of the steps and the group of guys who had been following him started moving closer. Juho had to force himself to take deep breaths and not shut down, he couldn’t afford to lose control right now. Right when he thought he was going to have to confront them, a voice called his name from somewhere to his right. He looked over and saw Seokwoo sprinting towards him, phone against his ear.

 

“I’m so sorry babe, I really thought I had told you to get off at the South Campus stop.”

 

In a few more long strides Seokwoo had reached him and enveloped him in a hug. Juho’s arms naturally wrapped around the taller male’s waist and he clung on tightly. The bubble of panic in his chest was about to burst and he could feel the tears pricking at the corner of his eyes.

 

“Come on, it’s too cold to be standing around here.”

 

Juho’s fingers were numb as he ended the still connected call, and Seokwoo took his hand in his own and they started walking. He just followed him blindly, focused entirely on putting one foot in front of the other and not crying. The group of guys had thankfully given up on following them and Juho felt the panic slowly began to fade the further they got away. It was ten minutes later when Seokwoo stopped outside an apartment building and punched a code into the door, leading him inside into the warmth.

 

“Where are we?”

“My apartment.”

“Wha- why?”

“There won’t be any more buses this late and I don’t trust the taxis around here. You can stay with me for the night and go back to your campus in the morning.”

 

They took the elevator to the fourth floor in silence, Juho still a little numb to everything that had just happened. It wasn’t until he had been led into a small, well-kept living room and Seokwoo was taking off his coat and shoes that he realised the situation he was in.

 

“I – I can’t stay.”

“Juho, please, it’s not safe to be out this late and you seem exhausted. I would be much happier if you just stayed here until the morning.”

 

There was something in Seokwoo’s voice that made him cave. He was so tired, and the heat of the room was making it hard to keep his eyes open. So, he shrugged off his jacket and shoes, leaving his bag on the floor and let himself be led further inside.

 

“You can take my bed and I’ll stay on the couch, alright? If you want to change just grab a t-shirt and shorts from this drawer here and then go to sleep.”

 

Juho nodded numbly and collapsed face first onto the soft mattress in front of him. He distantly heard Seokwoo chuckle softly and felt a duvet being draped over him before he succumbed to the tug of sleep.

When he woke up the next morning he felt very disoriented. Sitting up the first thing he noticed was that he was still wearing his sweatpants and t-shirt from the day before, and this bed was bigger and softer than he was used to. As he woke up a little more he noticed the warm pink walls which were not his own dull grey ones and there was a full-length mirror facing the bed that he could see himself in. And then he remembered; the wrong bus, being followed by a group of guys, an empty library.

Jumping out of the bed, Juho stumbled out of the room and almost ran straight into the wall opposite the door. Panic swelled in his chest as he tried to orient himself and get out of here. Running down the hallway he turned a corner into a sitting room and saw the door with his bag and coat beside it. His breath was coming in short gasps as he tried to make his way towards it, avoiding the couches and table in his way. Then he heard a voice that stopped him in his tracks.

 

“Juho? Hey, hey, where are you going?”

“S-Seokwoo”?

 

The taller male was standing in a small kitchen wearing a pale-yellow apron and his hair was a mess. The smell of food reached Juho where he had frozen and his stomach growled loudly. Then the rest of last night’s memories reached him. Calling Seokwoo, meeting him at the library, walking back to his apartment, being tucked into bed. The tears began escaping and Juho felt his legs begin to wobble. Before he could fall, there was a pair of strong arms around his waist holding him up, and Seokwoo was too close.

 

“I’ve got you, don’t worry.”

 

He felt himself sink into a couch and Seokwoo was right there beside him, arms still around his waist and softly comforting him. He couldn’t stop the tears as they continued running down his cheeks and he took a deep, shuddering breath to try to calm himself.

 

“You’re safe now, I’m right here.”

 

 

Youngbin was speechless as he continued rubbing circles on Juho’s back. He could feel how tense his friend was and felt guilty for not telling them about this before. They had all just assumed he had fallen asleep in the library as he had done a few times before, and he never corrected them when he arrived back the next afternoon and locked himself away in his room. Juho tried to apologise, but Youngbin refused to let him.

 

“Don’t you dare. You are not to apologise for this, it was not your fault and you have no need to feel bad about keeping this from us.”

“I just – I didn’t want you guys to freak out.”

“I understand that, I promise. And I’m glad that you trust Seokwoo enough to take care of you.”

 

The elder left soon after, once he made sure that Juho was ok and had brought some snacks with him into his room to study. Then he threw himself back into his books for the rest of the night, refusing to think about anything other than the case studies and company policies in front of him. Not the healthiest coping mechanism, he was well aware, but it was the only thing keeping him from breaking down right now.

And that’s how his last month of university continued. His friends bringing food to him and making sure he was getting at least some sleep every day while he slogged away finishing up the last of his assignments. Seokwoo continued messaging him and they spoke once or twice a week for a short while just to keep Juho from boiling over. The day he submitted his thesis he cried over the phone to him for half an hour out of both panic and relief.

Then finals week arrived, and with it came Juho’s last chance to prove that everything he had worked for up to this point was not for nothing. His friends made sure that he and Sanghyuk both ate before their exams and one of their three older friends picked them up after each one to feed them again before they went back into cramming mode. But finally, the Thursday of his last exam rolled around and after four long years, Juho was finished.

Sanghyuk finished his last one on the same day and they collided in a bone crushing hug when they saw each other that evening. They had been there for one another through all the ups and downs of the last four years and now they were finished. It was a feeling Juho couldn’t label and there was a hollow ache in his chest he couldn’t make sense of. Until he looked at his phone and saw a message that made him feel complete, and he realised what it was.

 

 **[6:30 pm]** Seokwoo~

< Congratulations on finishing!! You did so well, you should be incredibly proud of yourself!

< Do you want to get a drink? If you have plans already I won’t interrupt.

 

“You alright Juju? It looks like you’re about to cry.”

“Oh? Sorry, I’m fine, thanks Jae.”

“Then what’s with the constipated face?”

 

Suddenly Sanghyuk plastered himself to his back and peered over his shoulder at his still open screen. He made a cooing sound and started swinging his best friend from side to side while singing loudly.

 

“Lover boy here has been invited for drinks by his special someone.”

“OH! WHY DON’T WE GO FOR DRINKS TOGETHER? WE CAN FINALLY MEET JUHO’S BOYFRIEND IN PERSON!”

“Tae and Chani still have one more exam tomorrow, why don’t we wait for them to be finished first, and then we can all meet him!”

“Nayoung will be finished tomorrow too, can I invite her along as well?”

“Of course! Let’s make it a big group thing, tell Nayoung she can invite some of her friends too!”

“YES! I LOVE PARTIES!”

“Inseong please stop yelling, we can hear you from here.”

 

The eldest poked his head around the corner and stuck his tongue out at them. He was currently chopping up vegetables for dinner, since he and Jaeyoon decided they wanted to cook a meal from scratch for Juho and Sanghyuk as a congratulations for finishing their exams. Sanghyuk finally let go of his best friend and immediately pulled out his phone to text Nayoung about their plans, while Jaeyoon poked at Juho’s stomach to try get him to do the same.

 

“Come oonnnn, it will be fun! We promise we won’t make fun of you in front of him.”

“Pinkie swear?”

“Yes! I pinkie swear that I, Lee Jaeyoon, will not embarrass you in front of your boyfriend.”

 

They stamped on it and Juho laughed out loud, a full warm laugh that had Inseong appearing in the living room again to see him. It had been a long time since he had felt this free, and so riding that high he texted Seokwoo back.

 

 **[6:45 pm]** Seokwoo~

>. Thank you! I don’t think I would have survived without your help.

>. Some of my friends still have one more exam so we’re planning a finishing party for tomorrow, food and drinks included.

>. You’re more than welcome to come along, if you want?

< That sounds great! Just give me the time and place and I’ll be there!

 

“Nayoung says hell yes to a party, she has eight friends who are also down.”

“Seokwoo said he would love to come too.”

“WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A PARTY!!”

 

They booked a table for eighteen in a restaurant in the city for eight pm the next night. Juho had no idea how Youngbin managed to get a booking for such a large group with only 24 hours’ notice, but he had learned in the years of being his friend that there was very little he couldn’t do. So, at six thirty on Friday Juho found himself being pinned to Inseong’s couch by the eldest who was wielding liquid eyeliner like a weapon.

 

“I really don’t need it.”

“You have just finished your last exam of your undergraduate degree and we are going out to celebrate, and your boyfriend will be there. You are going to let me do your makeup.”

 

There was no arguing with that logic unfortunately, so Juho let his makeup and hair be taken care of by Inseong and then lost to Jaeyoon at rock paper scissors which meant he also had to wear an outfit of the elder’s choice.

 

“This shirt is see-through.”

“Exactly!”

 

By twenty to eight they were all ready to go. He decided not to question Youngbin’s sudden new hair colour or his choice of outfit for the night, and the four of them caught a taxi into the city. Everyone had made their own arrangements to get to the restaurant, and they were all going to meet up outside. Juho got a text from Seokwoo saying he was also on his way in, and that he couldn’t wait to see him. That made his heart flutter a little, and he pushed away the invasive thoughts that tried to remind him that he had no reason to keep pretending to be dating him anymore.

When they arrived, there were already quite a few people hanging around outside. Juho spotted Taeyang, Sanghyuk and Nayoung with five other girls, one of whom looked very familiar.

 

“Sally?”

“Yo, how did we not figure out that our housemates were dating before right now?”

“Wait, you’re rooming with Nayoung? I thought you were sharing with Soyee?”

“Yeah, Soyee is my roommate but I share a dorm with Nayoung and another girl. We have a double.”

“Since when?”

“September.”

 

Sally pulled him in for a hug when he got close enough which he happily returned, before easily entering the conversation. Nayoung introduced her friends; Hana, Mimi, Haebin, Soyee and Sally, while Sanghyuk introduced Youngbin, Inseong, Jaeyoon and Juho to the girls. They laughed about the coincidence that Juho and Sally knew one another already. Two more girls arrived who were introduced as Mina and Hyeyeon, and when Chani and Hwiyoung showed up a few minutes later it was discovered that the four youngest all knew one another too. A small world indeed. And it only got smaller when Seokwoo finally appeared with a girl by his side, who turned out to be his co-worker Sejeong – Nayoung’s roommate.

There was a beat of silence before the entire group dissolved into a fit of laughter. Seokwoo sidled over to Juho with a wide grin and put an arm around his waist, supporting him as he laughed so hard he almost collapsed. Sanghyuk was on the ground already while Nayoung was leaning heavily on Mimi, shoulders shaking violently. Of all the people they could have worked with or known from university, the nine guys and nine girls somehow managed to have four points of connection completely unbeknownst to one another.

When they had all gotten a hold of themselves, Youngbin took charge and suggested they all head inside the restaurant, to which everyone happily agreed. Effortlessly, the two groups integrated as they walked inside, no distinction made between who had known each other before this meeting or not. It took a little while for them all to get seated, but they worked it out eventually and began chatting eagerly about food and finished exams and all the positive things in life.

If there was one thing Juho realised he had been missing out on because of his ceaseless studying, it was this. Being out with a group of friends, laughing and talking and enjoying himself without the pressure of having to be working on something pressing down on him. What amazed him was how easily Seokwoo was making conversation with everyone around him. He was sitting to Juho’s left, and animatedly discussing a drama he was watching with Hwiyoung across the table. He alternated between listening to their conversation and chatting with Sally and Soyee who were on his other side, and everything just felt right.

The meal went down well with everyone enjoying both the food and the company. When the time came to pay the bill, it was a bit of a mess, but it worked out somehow. Juho was pretty sure they had left what was close to a 25% tip, but for facilitating such a large group their amazing waiters definitely deserved it. As they all walked out of the building, content and lively still, it was Hana who spoke up to the group.

 

“So, who’s up for drinks?”

 

A resounding cheer went up and they all kept up the bright energy the whole walk to the first club they came across. The rest of the night passed in a blur of dancing and people insisting on buying him drinks as a congratulations. He passed most of them off to Sally and Soyee who accepted them with thanks. Seokwoo didn’t leave his side the whole night, discussing any topic that came to mind as well as making small talk with any of his friends who came over. They spent a lot of time on the dance floor too, and maybe Juho was feeling looser with the alcohol in his system, but he was showing off a little in front of Seokwoo. He had noticed the looks the taller male had been giving him since dinner, the translucent shirt and tight leather pants Jaeyoon had picked out for him catching his attention.

Seokwoo looked incredible too, but then again, he always did. The intrusive thoughts tried to get his attention, but he shook them away, filling his head and chest with the pounding bass of the music and letting himself feel nothing but relief as he moved to the beat and truly enjoyed himself. At one point late in the night he noticed Youngbin and Hana leaving together, which made him raise an eyebrow but grin anyway.

Slowly the night turned to morning and the music wound to a close. Juho was feeling a little tipsy, drunk more on freedom than alcohol but still swaying side-to-side as he walked out into the fresh air. Sally twirled up to him and threw her arms around his neck, and he pulled her in for a hug. She was humming under her breath as they supported one another and Juho couldn’t help his sentimental side making an appearance.

 

“Thanks for keeping me sane these last four years.”

“Right back at you buddy. I probably would have looked a real loser if I was the only one at the front of the lectures every day taking notes like my life depended on it.”

 

He chuckled and agreed wholeheartedly. There was no way he could have survived without Sally by his side every day making sure he wasn’t alone in his fevered dedication to his studies. They stayed swaying together for another minute or so before Seokwoo reappeared off to the side. Sally spotted him and giggled, before standing on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear.

 

“I’m glad you finally found him.”

 

And with that she twirled away again, going to plaster herself against Soyee’s back and sway her roommate back and forth, the ribbons in her hair dancing beautifully in the light breeze. Juho was mildly confused by her statement, but it left his mind when he felt a warm body behind him and arms snaking around his waist.

 

“Did you enjoy your celebrations?”

“Absolutely, this has been the best night of my life.”

“I doubt there’s much competition for that title.”

“Hey!”

 

They laughed together and Juho felt his heart swell and begin to beat erratically in his chest. He had never felt happier than he did in this moment, watching his friends with bright smiles on their faces as they revelled in their freedom.

Hwiyoung broke away from the group and stumbled towards Juho. He threw himself into his friend’s arms and if it hadn’t been for Seokwoo acting as a support behind him they would have probably ended up on the pavement.

 

“Chani said he’s not coming home with me, but I don’t want to go aloooone. Will you bring me home Juho?”

 

The younger got very clingy when he was drunk, which they had all discovered last year and refused to let him live it down. Juho smiled and patted Hwiyoung’s head comfortingly, assuring him that yes, he would bring him home and no, it wasn’t his fault that Chani didn’t want to leave with them. He felt more than heard the rumble of laughter from Seokwoo’s chest pressed against his back.

 

“The joys of younger friends.”

“Tell me about it.”

 

Seokwoo moved from directly behind him so he was standing at his side instead, a warm hand still on the small of his back. They shared a smile while Hwiyoung continued whining from where he was leaning against Juho, repeatedly asking when they were going to leave.

 

“Ok, we’re going to go now don’t worry. How about you go stand there at the bus stop and I’ll be right with you.”

 

He was still pouting but nodded and dutifully walked towards the bus shelter. Juho shook his head but couldn’t help smiling, the younger was just too cute for his own good. Then he turned to Seokwoo and found the taller already looking at him with an expression on his face that he couldn’t quite place. The air between them was suddenly charged and it took Juho’s breath away. But before either of them could address it, a very drunk Sejeong suddenly stumbled towards them and the moment was broken when Seokwoo had to catch her before she faceplanted onto the concrete.

 

“Are you ok?”

“Yess, I’m fine thank you! I just need someone to walk me home.”

 

Her words were surprisingly clear for the amount she had drank, but she could barely stay standing upright without support and her eyes kept fluttering closed. Juho was concerned, but Seokwoo didn’t seem too phased by his co-worker’s state. He briefly explained that Sejeong was a lightweight and got tipsy at enough company dinners that he had dealt with this before.

 

“Will you please walk me home? I don’t want to take a smelly bus.”

“Ok Sejeong, I’ll bring you home. Do you have your phone and your keys?”

“Yes! They are in my pocket!”

 

She patted her trouser pockets proudly and grinned at them. Seokwoo just rolled his eyes before adjusting his grip around her waist so that he was holding almost all her weight. He apologised to Juho who simply waved it off, pointing at his own drunk friend who needed accompanying home.

 

“Well, congratulations again on finishing Juho. And thanks for inviting me out.”

“Thank you for coming, I hope my friends weren’t too much tonight.”

“Not at all, I actually really enjoyed their company.”

“I’m glad. Well then, goodnight. Get Sejeong and yourself home safely, yeah?”

“I will, and you too. Goodnight Juho, make sure to drink plenty of water.”

 

He smiled at him once more before turning Sejeong and beginning to head in the direction of what Juho assumed was her apartment. Juho also turned around and walked over to his younger friend who was slouched against the wall of the bus shelter with a petulant look on his face. It was only when their bus pulled up and Juho threw a look over his shoulder and couldn’t see Seokwoo anymore that the hollow feeling in his chest returned.

The next few days felt slightly surreal to Juho. Suddenly, he had all this time on his hands and had no idea what to do with it. He got calls and messages from family and old friends congratulating him on finishing which he accepted graciously. With Sanghyuk’s help the entire dorm got a top to bottom clean, he reorganised his wardrobe and sorted through all his notes and books and collected them into piles based on subject and year. They had movie nights with all their friends and made their way through series of films none of them had gotten the chance to watch yet, and he even binge watched an entire series on Netflix.

Most of his free time was spent with Seokwoo though. They met for lunch or dinner, went for walks in the park or visited the museums and art galleries in the city that Juho had never been to, despite living here for four years. It turned out Seokwoo was a bit of an art buff and revelled in getting to show Juho all his favourite works and talk about their history. Sometimes they met up as a group with some of his friends, which they used as an opportunity to torture Juho by sharing his most embarrassing stories. Seokwoo still had work, of course, but they saw more of each other in the week after Juho finished his exams than they had in the entire three and a half months they had known each other before that.

Of course, spending that much time together meant they got to know one another even more, and with every new thing he learned about Seokwoo, his feelings for him grew. Youngbin tried to convince him to just talk to him about the weird limbo they were in. Every one of his friends thought Seokwoo was actually his boyfriend, and now all of Nayoung’s friends thought so too. But Juho was terrified of what talking about it might bring about. What if Seokwoo was only still playing along because he felt obliged to? What if he cut off contact when Juho tried to bring it up with him? What if he did want to date him for real?

Because as much as the rejection would break Juho’s heart, he was more scared of what was expected from him from a real relationship. As his friends liked to point out, he hadn’t really dated anyone in his time in university, not since his first month when an awkward week of semi-dating one of his classmates ended and they decided they were better off as friends. Even before university, he only ever had one relationship, and even that only lasted a few months before they decided they weren’t right for one another. That’s what he was most afraid of; not being right for Seokwoo, not being able to be a good enough boyfriend. So, despite his friend’s advice that Juho knew was the right thing to do, he avoided talking about it with Seokwoo and instead let himself enjoy his company.

After two weeks Juho started going a little stir crazy. The freedom had been liberating at first but now waking up to a whole day of nothing felt suffocating, so he decided to look for a summer job. No company would take him until his official results were released, but that was ok with Juho. He still wasn’t entirely sure if he even wanted to work in the area anyway. Instead he decided to take a page out of Seokwoo’s book and look for work in something he enjoyed. Which was how he found himself employed part-time in a music production studio in the city.

 

_“You got the job?! That’s amazing Juho, I’m so happy for you!”_

“Thanks Seokwoo, I couldn’t have done it without your help though.”

“ _Don’t be ridiculous, all I did was point you in their direction, you did all the hard work.”_

“Yeah well, I want to thank you though. Are you free for dinner tonight?”

“ _If you don’t mind eating a little late then sure. I finish at eight.”_

“That’s fine by me, I’ll book a table in that sushi place for nine?”

_“Sounds good. See you then Juho.”_

“Bye, good luck with the rest of your shoot.”

_“Thank you.”_

Juho was aware of the dumb smile on his face when he got off the phone with Seokwoo and was very conscious of the look he was getting from Sanghyuk in the living room. He tried to ignore his best friend and went into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, but when he turned around Sanghyuk had spun on the couch, so he was watching him.

 

“What?”

“C’mere, I want to talk.”

 

He patted the cushion beside him and Juho warily walked over, glass of water in hand. He sat where indicated and raised an eyebrow at his roommate, waiting for the question to come. Sanghyuk looked nervous, fiddling with his fingers and not making eye contact. This was strange since he was usually so forward, so Juho set his glass down on the table before putting a hand on his friend’s knee.

 

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Oh, right. It’s just, you know we have to move out by the end of August, right?”

“Yeah, I know. Our lease is up one week before graduation.”

“Yeah, well - I got a response from the graduate school here. They’ve offered me a conditional place as a research assistant starting the first of October.”

“Oh my god – Sanghyuk that’s incredible!”

 

Juho launched himself across the couch at his friend, pining him down in a hug. Sanghyuk laughed and returned the hug, his grip almost bruising. This was something he had wanted since the end of second year and if anyone deserved it then it was him.

 

“It’s only conditional for now. When our results come out they will make a hard offer if I get the grade.”

“You know you’re going to get it though! That’s amazing I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks Juho. I only got the offer an hour ago, you’re the first person I’ve told.”

“Me, really? What about Nayoung, or your parents?”

“Well, as much as I love them both very much, they haven’t been here for me like you have, these last four years.”

 

There was bottled up emotion behind Sanghyuk’s words and when Juho pulled back from their hug he saw the shine of tears in his best friend’s eyes. That meant more to him than he could ever realise. He held Sanghyuk’s hands tightly, waiting for what he suspected was to come.

 

“So, what I wanted to talk to you about is what we’re going to do, after graduation. Nayoung has a position with a company already secured, but she just can’t officially start until she gets her results. But she will be staying around the city for work anyway, so –”

“You want to get a place with her?”

“Only if you’re going to have somewhere to go.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. We’ve been living together for four years now, and if you were planning on sticking around too and needed a roommate, well, I would be more than happy to continue living together.”

 

This came as a bit of a shock to Juho. Sure, he knew they were the definition of perfect roommates, they just got each other and had the same opinions on almost everything from food to cleaning methods. But, for his best friend to say he would turn down the opportunity to live with his girlfriend so they could stay together, that was big. Way bigger than Juho thought Sanghyuk realised. It meant the world to him, but he knew that he couldn’t be the reason that his friend wouldn’t live with Nayoung.

 

“Sanghyuk, you know how much I’ve loved living together too, and hell I’m going to miss you when we move out. But you just said it, you love Nayoung and I don’t want you to use me as an excuse not to take the next step with her. You two are perfect for one another, and you deserve that kind of happiness.”

“But, what are you going to do?”

“Honestly, I haven’t figured it out yet. Seokwoo helped me get a job with a music production company so I’m going to be working with them for the summer anyway. And maybe I’ll stay with them after graduation too, see how it goes and earn some money before I start looking at internship programmes. I’ll be sticking around though, you won’t be rid of me that easily.”

 

Sanghyuk didn’t say anything for a moment, just searching Juho’s face for something – what, he wasn’t sure. But he seemingly found it because his face softened, and he smiled gently.

 

“Maybe, if you’ll be needing somewhere to stay, you should move in with him.”

“Who?”

“Seokwoo.”

 

That hit him like a punch to the gut and knocked all the air out of his lungs. Panic started rising and Sanghyuk must have seen it in his eyes because he pulled Juho in closer and began rubbing circles on his back.

 

“Hey, hey it’s alright. Trust me when I say I know how scary it is, but I’ve seen the way you guys look at one another. You have something special with him, and maybe you should think about taking the next step too.”

 

He appreciated it, really, he did. He knew Sanghyuk was only trying to make him feel better and in any other situation it would have worked. But there was one huge problem, and that was that Juho and Seokwoo weren’t really dating. And as close as they had gotten in the past while, there was no way Juho could consider asking him to live together when he couldn’t even talk to him about the fake relationship they had. He tried to put on a strong face in front of Sanghyuk though, he didn’t want to break in front of him. So, he just said he would think about it, and it must have been convincing enough that his best friend agreed to let him go. Juho grabbed his glass of water and escaped to his room, thoughts threatening to overwhelm him and this time he couldn’t call Seokwoo for help.

Quarter to nine arrived very quickly in Juho’s mildly panicked state. He didn’t even have the mental capacity to get dressed up for dinner and only barely remembered his wallet as he was leaving the apartment. When he hopped off the bus outside the restaurant, the taller male was already waiting for him, smile wide on his face. Despite being the source of all his problems, seeing Seokwoo made Juho feel calmer. It was a strange situation, but he had grown used to it the last few months.

 

“There you are.”

“Here I am. Sorry I’m late.”

“Don’t worry about it. Shall we go inside?”

 

Seokwoo extended a hand for Juho to take, which he did without thinking. They did this a lot, holding hands as they walked around, or sometimes Seokwoo would place a hand on Juho’s waist to guide him where they wanted to go. The contact was always gentle and comforting, and he wondered why Seokwoo continued to do it even when it was just the two of them. Sure, when Juho’s friends were around they sat closer and Seokwoo always had an arm around his waist, but they were still pretending for them, so why did he continue these gestures when they were alone? He let himself be led into the restaurant and to their table while his mind pondered every possibility.

 

“Hey, Juho, are you alright?”

“What do you mean?”

“You seem a little distracted. Did something happen?”

 

The words were soft and careful. Seokwoo never pushed for answers when he asked questions like this, but Juho always gave them anyway. There was just something inside him that made him know he could trust Seokwoo with anything.

 

“Sanghyuk was offered a conditional place as a research assistant in the university, which is something he’s wanted for years.”

“That’s incredible! He must be ecstatic.”

“He is, and I’m so, so happy for him.”

“Then, what’s the matter?”

“What did I do this for?”

“Do what for?”

“All this studying. Never going out, never having fun, never letting myself enjoy my time as a student. I spent the last four years of my life locked away in libraries and my bedroom pouring over notes and books and case studies to make sure I came out on the top of my class – and for what? I don’t even know if I want to do anything in law or business. Did I waste the most important years of my life for nothing?”

 

It was a lot to get off his chest, and it wasn’t until he started that Juho realised just how much this had been weighing on his mind. Seokwoo just listened calmly, letting Juho get everything out in the open. He reached his hand across the table and covered Juho’s own, squeezing it gently before speaking.

 

“You did not waste your time, not a second of it. You’re going to graduate with a first-class honour in an incredibly difficult degree, probably top of your class because of how dedicated you were. And you know what that’s worth? That’s worth pride, to your friends and your family, and it’s worth an incredible amount if you decide to pursue a career in it. And even if you don’t it’s still worth a lot because the blood, sweat and tears your put into getting that grade will stand to you in whatever path you decide to follow. At the end of the day, your degree is just a piece of paper with a fancy stamp on it, it’s the memories you made during your time that matter. Think of your friends, think of the impact you made on their lives. Think about all the students you tutored to help them pass and how much that meant to them. Think back on all the things you did, no matter how small, they’re what make your time worth it in the end.”

 

Juho was speechless. He sat there, staring at Seokwoo and the determination on his face in awe as he allowed the words to sink in. There was a fire in the taller male’s eyes that Juho hadn’t seen before, and it filled him inexplicably with pride. Something else stirred in his chest too, something that made everything around him look a little brighter. It was the memories of all the happy memories he shared with his amazing friends; laughing at nothing, fooling around, enjoying one another’s company in the simplest of ways. His heart suddenly felt a lot lighter, and it must have brought a change to his face because Seokwoo’s eyes lit up.

 

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Were your four years’ worth it?”

“Yeah, they were.”

 

Seokwoo grinned widely and Juho laughed, his heart soaring without the weight it had been carrying for so long. They spent the evening talking sharing their funniest and most heart-warming memories from their time in university, and Juho went home with a spring to his step despite the fullness of his stomach.

His first two weeks of work were tough, an induction period dedicated to helping him learn the ropes and find his place in a company that dealt with a lot of important people. But by the end of it Juho felt confident that this was a job he was going to really enjoy doing. Music had always been a solace to him, and maybe if he had been a little braver at nineteen he would have chosen to study music production. But it was never too late, as he very quickly picked up on small things that brought clarity to so many questions he had. The producer he was working under was very impressed with him, calling his work ethic ‘titan’ and asking for his input on pieces he was working on. He also picked up a production alias, Zuho they called him, because it sounded cooler. All his friends laughed out loud when he told them, but they all shared in his newfound purpose and happiness.

After work one day, Youngbin sent a text to their group chat. He asked if they could all make themselves available for dinner that evening and meet at the restaurant for seven thirty, sharp. They all agreed instantly, trying to get answers about the reason behind it. Youngbin remained very cryptic about it, simply saying it was important and he really wanted them all to be there. Juho sent his friend a message privately, asking if Seokwoo could join them, since the pair had been planning to meet for dinner. He agreed immediately, saying he assumed that Seokwoo would be coming with him anyway. That put a strange taste in Juho’s mouth, but he dutifully relayed the information to Seokwoo who had no problem with the change of plans.

They all arrived at the restaurant early and were pleasantly surprised to find the girls there too. Juho greeted Sally with a hug, and a quick head count revealed there were only eight.

 

“Where’s Hana?”

“Don’t know, she’s the one who messaged us all a few hours ago and asked us to meet her here.”

“Strange, Youngbin did the same thing.”

 

A vague memory resurfaced of Youngbin and Hana leaving together on the night of their exams ending. If the pair had started dating then that was wonderful, but Juho didn’t think it warranted an emergency meeting to be called over dinner. But then again, Youngbin was quite a sentimental person, so maybe this meant a lot to him. He didn’t know Hana very well, but to be a friend of Sally and Nayoung’s she must be a great person, so he wasn’t too worried.

The two in question showed up at eight pm exactly and walked towards the group hand-in-hand. Beside him Sally let out a small gasp and she smiled softly. They really were doing a big thing just to announce they were dating. Jaeyoon was the first to start asking questions, but Youngbin waved them off, suggesting they all head inside first. No one had any reason to argue, so they entered the restaurant and took their seats at the table reserved for them.

Both Youngbin and Hana refused to answer why the dramatics were required just yet, but Juho didn’t mind too much. Everyone in the group got along so well that the conversation flowed easily, catching up on stories since they had last met. It was only after their food arrived that Youngbin tapped his knife against a glass to gather everyone’s attention. Juho spotted Chani trying to smother a giggle into his elbow while Mina slapped his shoulder quietly.

 

“Thank you all for coming on such short notice, I know it was a lot to ask.”

“I had big plans for tonight you know, so I hope you’re going to pay for my food to make it up to me.”

“Shut up Inseong, we all know you were just going to order pizza and rewatch Zootopia for the twentieth time.”

“Actually, we didn’t all know that Mimi. How did you know that?”

“Guys come on.”

“Thanks Hana. As I was saying, I know it was short notice but it’s something that’s really important to us and we wanted to share it with you all at the same time.”

“So, Youngbin and I started dating about two weeks ago.”

 

A cheer went up around the table. Juho smiled widely at the look of happiness on his older friend’s face. Youngbin had always been such a strong pillar of support for their whole group and he truly looked to be smitten with Hana. To his right, Seokwoo placed a hand on Juho’s knee and squeezed. He had only known Youngbin for a while, but they got along so well, and he had welcomed Seokwoo into their group with open arms.

 

“Yes ok, so that’s news to all of you we know, but it’s not the reason we asked you here.”

“Yeah, I know we’re both a bit dramatic but we’re not that bad.”

“Well then, what’s the big deal?”

 

The couple joined hands and shared a look before facing them all again. Juho felt something in the air change and out of the corner of his eye he spotted Sally gazing into the space between the two of them distantly. Youngbin and Hana both took a deep breath before speaking in perfect unison.

 

“We’re soulmates.”

 

It was like time froze and Juho felt his heart ache so painfully he was sure he was dying. As if someone had removed all the oxygen from the room he suddenly couldn’t breathe, but in that moment, he saw it; a faint silvery thread, shimmering and swaying in a non-existent breeze, joining them by their hearts. Then his gaze shifted over their shoulders and he saw two silver doves, hovering there peacefully like it was exactly where they were supposed to be. The ache in his heart and his burning lungs were still there, but it was a beautiful pain that brought tears to his eyes. And then just like that, the vision was gone and Juho found himself drawing in a desperate breath.

Everyone else at the table was cheering again, so full of utter joy for their friends. Even though most people were no longer driven by the need to find and love their soulmate, it was a beautiful thing when they found one another and truly wanted to be together. Especially for such a young couple, it was an amazing occasion. Juho was still a little lightheaded but cheered along with the others, happiness for his friend outweighing the pain in his chest. If anyone deserved to find their soulmate, it was Youngbin.

Their meal passed in merriment and good feeling. Youngbin and Hana shared the story of how they discovered they were soulmates, only a few days after they had started dating. Sanghyuk made a rather tasteless joke about feet which earned him a slap from Nayoung on his left and Inseong on his right. The couple just laughed brightly though, and Juho couldn’t help but find himself wondering about his own soulmate. He self-consciously traced his fingers over his thigh where his own soulmark was, waiting for the perfect someone before it would be seen.

As they were leaving the restaurant, after everyone chipped in to pay for Youngbin and Hana’s meals as a small gift of congratulations, Sally pulled him aside away from the group. Seokwoo noticed but Juho just smiled and waved him off. This felt important, and he knew Sally was not the kind of person to be dramatic about things.

 

“You saw it, didn’t you?”

“Saw what?”

“Juho, please don’t play dumb about this. I need to know what you saw.”

“Ok, fine. Did I see the silver thread that joins Youngbin’s heart to Hana’s? Did I see the doves over their shoulders, looking like everything was right with the world? Yes, I did. And you want to know what else? I couldn’t breathe, and my heart felt like it was being pulled out of my chest, but I couldn’t even focus on the pain because I was so happy for my friend. And then just as I was convinced I was going to die, it disappeared, and the only reason I’m sure I even saw it is because my chest still hurts.”

“Is that the first time you’ve ever seen it?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I would remember feeling like I was going to die seeing something so beautiful.”

 

Sally fixed him with a strange look that made Juho wonder if he had said something wrong. She had always been a bit eccentric, but it was just part of her charm. But now, Juho wondered if there was something more to it.

 

“How did you know?”

“Your eyes were silver.”

“My – what?”

“I can see soulmates. Not all the time, obviously, only when they’re feeling an overwhelming amount of love or fondness for their partner. I usually just see the thread, leaving someone’s chest and travelling across the distance to wherever their soulmate is. I only see the representative of their marks when the two of them are together and actively thinking about the fact that they’re soulmates. And when someone else can see it too, their eyes go silver.”

“Wow. But, how do you deal with the pain? It was only for a short moment, but it was almost unbearable.”

“You’ll be happy to know that the pain only comes the first time you see it. I’ve never experienced it a second time.”

“Well, that is a relief then isn’t it. Do you think that I’ll start seeing soulmates too?”

“Maybe, it’s not exactly a science or anything. It’s hard to notice at first, but over time you’ll get good at spotting the threads. It’s easiest at night time, or when it’s raining.”

 

Juho wanted to ask more questions, but he could feel Seowkoo’s presence waiting for him. So instead he made Sally promise to meet him for lunch someday soon, so they could talk more about it. She happily agreed, and in return made Juho promise not to tell anyone about it. They pinkie swore on it and he waved her off as she walked further into the city, relieved that what he saw was not a product of him going crazy. Seokwoo smiled at him when he walked up to his side and held out his hand for Juho to take. The warm weight was familiar and with it the last of the pain in his chest faded away.

 

“So, soulmates. That’s a pretty big deal.”

“Yeah. If anyone deserves to meet their soulmate it’s Youngbin. He has been such a supportive friend in all the time I’ve known him, and he just has so much love to give. I’m so happy for him.”

 

Seokwoo just nodded thoughtfully but didn’t say anything. They walked towards the bus stop together where a few of their friends were waiting to head back to campus. Juho and Seokwoo said their goodnights and the taller headed towards his own apartment. It was only as he joined the group Taeyang made a comment that left him reeling on the inside, while trying to remain composed on the outside.

 

“You really don’t like PDA, huh?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The most I’ve ever seen you guys do is a quick hug, I would have thought that for a couple who have been together for like five months you guys would be more affectionate.”

“Well not everyone is an exhibitionist like you Taeyang, maybe Juho and Seokwoo prefer to keep their affection to themselves.”

“Hey, I am not an exhibitionist!”

 

Taeyang and Soyee bickered back and forth until a bus arrived and Nayoung and Sejeong dragged their housemate on and waved goodbye to the guys who still had to wait a few minutes for theirs. Juho barely even noticed the conversation between his friends, so distracted by the realisation that Taeyang had given him.

And so, they all went about their summer. The three eldest of his friends were working in their departments, since a postgraduate position was a full-time job. Sanghyuk took up a position demonstrating in the universities summer school programme, while Taeyang worked as a dance teacher in one of the children’s academies in the city. Hwiyoung and Chani went home for a little to see their family, while Juho continued working hard on his music and meeting Seokwoo when they were both free. They started doing more relaxed things, staying in to watch a movie and eat takeout instead of going out for food, but they never stayed the night. If Sanghyuk or any of his other friends thought this was strange, they never said anything.

As with everything Juho did, he threw himself completely into his new job, often staying after hours to continue working even when it wasn’t required of him. He couldn’t help it, his love for music and producing was finally getting a chance to flourish and he was loving every minute of it, even if it was not doing good things for his back.

Two weeks passed and Hwiyoung and Chani returned, rested but more stressed out than when they left. No one pried into exactly what happened, just offering cuddles and a shoulder to lean on. One Wednesday night when all of them minus Seokwoo were getting together for a movie night, the girls included, Sanghyuk and Nayoung burst in with excited looks on their faces.

 

“Who here needs a break?”

 

Everyone in the group raised their hand, and Juho would have laughed were it not such a sad thing. Just looking around he could see the exhaustion on his friend’s faces, and he felt it in his sore muscles too. So, they all waited for the reason the couple looked so excited.

 

“There’s a really posh spa outside the city having a huge sale at the moment. They are offering 60% off a two-day, one-night package for groups of between fifteen to twenty people!”

“And we have eighteen people in our group! It’s perfect! The bookings are open until Friday and as I told Hyukkie, I think we all need a getaway.”

 

Juho raised an eyebrow at the idea of going to a spa, but as Nayoung and Sanghyuk explained everything that was involved it actually sounded pretty relaxing. And if they were all going to go as a group it would be great fun, and a wonderful bonding experience. So, when they asked who was interested, Juho was the first to raise his hand, much to his best friend’s delight. It only took a few minutes until all their hands were in the air, and Sanghyuk let out a delighted whoop.

 

“Ok, so if you guys could all give the money to Nayoung before Friday then we can make the booking, and everyone can book time off work! This is going to be amazing!”

 

They all smiled at Sanghyuk’s enthusiasm, it was hard to deny that his bright personality always managed to lift their spirits. The couple began to settle down so they could actually start the movie night, and Sejeong moved from where she had been sitting with Haebin to come over to Juho.

 

“Juho.”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I assume you’re going to ask Seokwoo to come with too?”

“Well yeah, I mean everyone seems to consider us a package deal at this stage.”

“Ok great! I actually have a proposal for you in that case.”

“Go on.”

“Seokwoo has a really long shoot tomorrow too, and I think it would really cheer him up if you went to visit him on set.”

“I don’t know, I’ve never been to the studio before.”

“I’ll be going in at five tomorrow to pick up some headshots, so you can come with me and I’ll bring you up and show you around.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely, I really think it would make him happy. And, while you’re there you can bring up the spa getaway in front of the director and then he won’t be able to refuse Seokwoo the time off.”

“That works?”

“Oh yeah, I’ve had Nayoung do things like that for me in the past to get time off.”

“Well, alright then.”

“Yay! Ok, meet me outside the studio for half four tomorrow and I’ll bring you up.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

She gave him a bright smile before running back to her original place just in time for the movie to begin. Juho shook his head and chuckled to himself, she was such an energetic person. He moved closer to Hwiyoung and the younger laid his head on his shoulder as the opening scene started.

The next day, as promised, he met Sejeong outside the photo studio at four thirty and they went up together. The receptionist raised an eyebrow at the pair of them as Sejeong dragged him straight to the elevators, but she just shot the older woman a smile and she softened immediately.

 

“You’re something else, you know that?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

They both laughed and Juho thought about how much he really enjoyed Sejeong’s company. Since that first meeting when they celebrated the end of exams, the two groups of friends had merged into one and now it was just as common to hear Inseong or Taeyang say they were going to meet with one of the girls as it was that they were meeting one of the guys. Juho couldn’t think of a better group of people he would rather be with.

When the elevator dinged on the twelfth floor, Sejeong skipped out pulling Juho along by the hand. There were a lot more people up here, rushing around with clipboards or clothes rails and looking very well-dressed. Juho looked down at his own casual t-shirt and worn jeans and felt very out of place. That feeling only intensified when Sejeong brought him to the actual modelling area where Seokwoo was mid-shoot.

The breath was completely knocked from his lungs when he saw Seokwoo at work. Obviously, Juho was well-aware of how handsome he was, but this was on another level. There was just something about his aura that had changed, there was an air about him and a look in his eyes that made Juho feel very small and way too-warm at the same time. To make matters worse, there were two equally handsome guys shooting with Seokwoo. The three of them were wearing silk suit jackets with no shirt underneath, and they were open rather low. The tallest guy, who was even taller than Seokwoo, was wearing a thick silk choker around his neck, while the shortest of the three who was more on the pretty side of handsome was wearing a patterned tie. Sejeong patted him on the shoulder and disappeared, leaving him there to watch the shoot as it drew to a close.

As soon as the director called cut Seokwoo’s expression changed back to one Juho was more accustomed to. The other models also had a similar shift in expression, and even though he was intimidated by their good looks Juho wasn’t scared by their presence. He was sure he had stayed silent the whole time, but Seokwoo must have somehow sensed his presence because he turned his head and looked directly to where Juho was standing shyly. His face brightened immeasurably, a huge smile breaking out across his face as he ran over to him.

 

“Juho? What on earth are you doing here?”

“I came to see you.”

“You did? Why?”

“Well you said you had a hard day yesterday and another long shoot today, so I thought I would come and cheer you on.”

 

There was something in Seokwoo’s eyes that made Juho’s heart start pounding faster. The taller male suddenly pulled him in to a tight hug. Juho returned it without thinking but was slightly worried about wrinkling what looked to be a very expensive suit. Seokwoo seemed to read his mind because he chuckled and assured him that they were finished with this look anyway. So Juho wrapped his arms around Seokwoo’s waist and held him closer, melting into the heat and comfort that he always radiated.

They were interrupted by a very pointed cough coming from behind Seokwoo, and Juho stepped back, embarrassed. It was the two other models, who stood there with crossed arms and raised eyebrows, looking Juho over. He felt extremely self-conscious of every aspect of himself under their scrutiny and glued his eyes to his feet, terrified that he would look and see the judgement in their eyes. It was already obvious that he wasn’t good enough for Seokwoo, he didn’t need to hear it said aloud.

 

“Oh my god Seokwoo, he is even more adorable then you said he was!”

“Why can’t I get a boyfriend as cute as this?”

“Seoham your boyfriend is the definition of adorable, and Dongmin you literally have a professional dancer falling at your feet.”

 

Juho felt Seokwoo’s hand settle on the small of his back where it often made its home, and he dared to raise his eyes slightly to glance at the other two models – Seokwoo’s best friends. They were both looking at him, but there was no judgement in their eyes. Instead they had wide smiles and there was a warmth there he hadn’t been expecting.

 

“Juho, I would like you to finally meet my best friends. This giant here is Seoham, and that’s Dongmin. Guys, this is Juho.”

 

There was pride in Seokwoo’s voice when he introduced him, and his toes curled with delight. They exchanged pleasantries and Juho felt the tension bleed from his shoulders. Seokwoo’s friends were just as bright and dorky as he had always said they were, and it made him feel a little more at ease, despite being so very underdressed in their company. They talked for a few minutes, about nothing important, before a very burly man called for them.

 

“Ughhhh, when do we get our next break.”

“Not for another like two hours.”

“I’m actually going to pass out, I hate these whole day shoots.”

“Hey, at least you got a cute pick-me-up, my boyfriend would never come visit me on set.”

“That’s because you told him not to dumbass.”

 

Seoham and Dongmin bickered playfully and waved goodbye to Juho as they walked away. Seokwoo explained that they had to get changed for the next set, and the director was a bit of an ass who tried to get as much out of their time as he could without it being illegal working conditions. Juho patted Seokwoo’s chest placatingly, and only realised after he had done it that Seokwoo wasn’t wearing a shirt. His expression must have been entertaining because the taller burst into laughter, pulling him in a little closer by the waist. Juho was sure his face was flushed bright red, but he couldn’t help smiling. Seokwoo’s laughter was infectious.

 

“Rowoon, stop faffing about and get ready.”

“Rowoon?”

“Yeah, it’s my stage name.”

“Wait – seriously? I thought you were just saying that!”

“Well, when we first met I actually didn’t have a stage name, but I decided I liked the sound of the one you gave me.”

 

Juho stood there speechless at that. Seokwoo had chosen his stage name based on a lie Juho had made up all those months ago – the lie that had gotten him into this in the first place. Something ugly twisted in his stomach, it was the realisation that they still had never cleared up what they really had between them. Now really wasn’t the time, because the director was stalking over and Juho still hadn’t brought up the main reason he had let Sejeong drag him here.

 

“I won’t keep you from your work much longer, but I actually have something to ask you.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“How would you like to do a spa getaway? The whole group are planning on taking some time off next month to go out of the city to a resort, and I would love if you came too.”

“That sounds lovely Juho, it really does. I’ll have to see if I can take holidays first though.”

“Well, I’ll put down the deposit for both of us and you just let me know if you think you’ll be able to make it.”

 

They shared a smile and Juho tried really hard not to laugh at the bug-eyed expression on the director’s face. He squeezed Seokwoo’s hand before wishing him luck on the rest of his shoot and waving goodbye. Seokwoo waved goodbye too before turning and acting surprised to see his director standing there. Juho turned away and covered his mouth with his hand as he couldn’t hold his laughter any longer. Hopefully, Sejeong’s plan worked and Seokwoo would be able to take a few days off to come to the spa with them.

Speaking of Sejeong, she materialised seemingly out of nowhere in front of him with her signature eye smile. Juho filled her in on what happened and she laughed brightly too, before linking her arm with his and leading him back to the elevator and out of the building. The whole way home Juho’s thoughts were plagued with the images of Seokwoo – or was it Rowoon – in his modelling mode. Later that night he got a text that made him laugh to himself before going to find Sanghyuk.

 

 **[11:06 pm]** Seokwoo~

< My director gave me a very serious talk about ‘how important it is that I know I’m allowed to take holidays’ and that ‘he was not a slave driver’

< So, if that spa getaway is still on the cards I would love to go.

>. Awesome! I’ll let Sanghyuk know right away.

>. He’ll text you the details of the money and dates and everything

< Sounds great! I can’t wait!

>. Me either, I think it will be good for everyone.

>. Get home safe~

< I will, sleep well~

 

Between throwing himself into his work and having to keep a lid on his feelings, Juho barely noticed the time passing until their group retreat to the spa came rolling around. They had all received a special invitation with instructions of what to bring with them which was very little. According to Nayoung, this place prided themselves on being truly ‘all-inclusive’ which meant they only needed to show up with the clothes they were wearing and their essentials (i.e. phone and money). They had arranged a mini bus to bring them all together, since it was a group trip after all. It was a two hour drive out of the city to the resort, but the time flew by in each other’s company.

When they arrived, they were greeted by two staff dressed entirely in white who gave them each a coconut drink as they stepped off their bus and into the reception area. Nayoung checked them all in and they were given their programme of events for their stay. Since their rooms weren’t ready yet, they were led immediately to the spa changing area where they were given a cotton t-shirt, loose shorts, slippers and a fluffy towel, all pure white. They changed and put their own clothes and belongings into lockers before following their guides into the actual spa area.

They were shown the main waiting area, where they were told they could relax on the couches and loungers before and after their treatments or classes. First, they showed them the restaurant area where they could go at any point to get a light snack during the day, and they were told there was another restaurant back in the resort where breakfast and dinner was served. All of the different treatment areas were pointed out to them; various types of massages, facials, manicure and pedicures, salt scrubs, mud baths, seaweed wraps and more. Then the studio areas were next where they could do meditation, yoga and even trust-building exercises. Finally, the pool area was pointed out, for which there was a separate changing area and they would be given swim gear to wear when they went in. After the tour, the two guides asked if there were any questions, to which there were none.

Once they were left to their own devices, it took them all a minute to gather their thoughts. The atmosphere didn’t allow Juho to feel overwhelmed, but they had just been off-loaded with a lot of information at once. But it didn’t really matter, as the realisation set in that they were really here with no obligations to do anything other than relax, and relieved smiles and laughter broke out among the group. Juho took a deep breath and let the relaxing scent of lavender and vanilla envelop his senses. They all deserved this.

Even though the programme they had been given wasn’t something they had to stick to exactly, they all decided to start with the group meditation class anyway. It would be a great way to get themselves into a relaxed mindset so that they could get the most of their short time here. It went about as well as was to be expected. Some of them, like Youngbin, Hwiyoung, Sally and Hyeyeon were very good at it. Others like Sanghyuk, Jaeyoon, Mimi and Mina were not so great, struggling to clear all the thoughts from their head. But after the hour, they all felt much calmer and more grounded.

Nayoung had personally taken charge of booking them in for certain treatments she thought they would like, which was how Mina and Chani ended up being dragged to the mud baths with Youngbin and Hana, who laughed the entire time. Juho happily settled down on one of the plush couches and Seokwoo settled down beside him. He noticed the taller kept tugging the hem of his shorts down until they were covering his knees but didn’t say anything. They talked about what they were looking forward to trying out, and some of the things that sounded more like torture than relaxation.

It was easy to lose track of time here. The spa music playing softly in the background gave no real indication of the minutes ticking by, and it was rather quiet with only a handful of other people around. Juho found himself starting to drift to sleep when a firm hand shook him awake. Sanghyuk was grinning down at him, face shining like he had never seen it before.

 

“Wakey wakey, you have an appointment now.”

“Appointment for what?”

“A back and shoulder massage! You and Seokwoo have a couples’ session in five minutes.”

 

And with that he bounced away, but his tone had left no room for argument. Looking to his left Seokwoo just shrugged his shoulders and smiled. Juho supposed a massage wasn’t the worst thing they could have been signed up for. So, the pair stood up from the couch and made their way to the massage treatment rooms where they were expected. A staff member showed them to a private room with two beds in the centre. The atmosphere was even more tranquil here than in the main area, and Juho could feel the relaxation seeping into his muscles. She instructed them to remove their shirts and lie chest down on one of the beds each, and the masseuse would be with them in a minute. As soon as the door closed behind her Seokwoo reached to strip his shirt off and Juho spun in a panic so he was facing away.

 

“Oh? Don’t tell me you’re shy Juho.”

 

He could hear the teasing tone of Seokwoo’s words and could easily picture the look that was sure to be on his face. A peek over his shoulder confirmed that, as Seokwoo stood there shirtless smirking towards him. When he noticed Juho looking he flexed so that his biceps and abs were very visible and winked. Juho was embarrassed by the squeak that came from his mouth and quickly looked away again.

 

“Come on, I promise I won’t look if you don’t want me to.”

 

His voice was much softer now, all hints of the teasing gone. Juho took a deep breath before removing his own shirt and turning to face Seokwoo. This was the most exposed he had been in front of the taller in all the time they had known one another and had been fake dating. But the way Seokwoo’s eyes scanned over his torso felt very real. There was a polite knock on the door of the room and Juho immediately scurried over to lie on the bed like they had been instructed to do, shirt discarded on the ground. He heard Seokwoo do the same, and a short moment later the door opened and two sets of footsteps entered.

 

“Are you guys ready?”

“Mmmph.”

 

Seokwoo had obviously placed his face in the donut ring at the top of the bed and it was muffling his response, which made Juho laugh and the tension from a minute ago was gone. One person stood over each of them and they began their session. Juho let his entire weight press down into the bed under him and focus on the feeling of all the tension in his shoulders being slowly rubbed away. It was so relaxing that Juho didn’t realise until it was too late that the person pressing on his muscles didn’t know about his back problems. They moved their hands to his lower back to continue the massage and hit a particularly tender spot. Juho hissed in pain and his entire back spasmed up, causing the masseuse to quickly remove his hands and beside him he heard Seokwoo make a concerned noise.

 

“Sir are you alright?”

“Yeah, sorry I should have mentioned. I’ve had problems with my lower back for a while.”

“Was it an injury?”

“No, just from sitting at a desk for long periods of time.”

“Juho, why did you never tell me?”

“It never came up.”

 

He felt bad, of course he did. The worry in Seokwoo’s voice was very evident, but truthfully that’s the reason he never told him. Juho hated when people worried about him, so he often kept things to himself and put on a brave face. The masseuse made him lie back down again and disappeared for a moment before returning with what sounded like a trolley.

 

“With your permission, I would like to do a mini hot stone treatment for your back. It will help loosen the knots in your muscles and I will be able to do work them out better then.”

“Sure, you’re the expert here.”

 

There was a sound of steam being released and Juho got a three second warning before he felt a hot heavy weight being placed on his back, and then another one, and then one more. He gritted his teeth and took deep breaths as the heat spread through his muscles until the temperature was more bearable. From his right he could hear the other masseuse telling Seokwoo to relax his shoulders, and Juho felt bad that he had worried the taller male.

The hot stone treatment was repeated a second time, before the masseuse went back to gently working the knots out of his muscles. This time there was no shock of pain or spasm up his back, and Juho let out a sigh of relief as he could physically feel the tension leaving him. Eventually though, the session had to come to an end. They thanked the two staff who told them to take their time getting ready. Then they left the room and closed the door behind them.

Juho lay there for another moment before slowly moving so he was kneeling up on the bed. He kept his eyes closed and focused all his attention on his back but didn’t find any twinge of pain. When he opened his eyes, Seokwoo was standing right in front of him still shirtless.

 

“Why did you never tell me about your back?”

“It n-”

 “Don’t say it never came up, it’s something you could have told me about at any time.”

“I just, I didn’t want you to worry about me.”

 

He didn’t want to meet Seokwoo’s eyes and see the disappointment there, but the only alternative was staring straight at his bare abs. So he lifted his gaze and instead of disappointment he saw softness there.

 

“I’m going to worry about you anyway Juho. So, in future, promise you’ll tell me if there’s anything like this. I want to be able to help.”

“I promise.”

 

Seokwoo smiled and extended a hand to help Juho stan up from the bed. They put their shirts back on and left the massage room, thanking the staff member on the desk as they did. As they were heading back to where most of their friends were still sitting about, Seokwoo took Juho’s hand in his and squeezed it gently. It was a small gesture, but Juho understood the meaning behind it.

They grabbed a light snack from the dining area before getting mani-pedis and a facial done. Seokwoo went for the ‘skin rejuvenation’ facial, claiming his face was his money maker and he needed to look after it. That got a laugh out of Juho and the others who had joined them. After much debate, Juho went with Soyee’s suggestion of the ‘tone and purify’ facial because he had no idea what the difference was. Afterwards he walked out feeling lighter and for some reason it also made him feel as if he could make more interesting expressions now. Seokwoo laughed loudly when he told him this, before wrapping an arm around his waist and leading them both back to the couches.

Unfortunately, they didn’t get to sit for long. Hana and Youngbin marched up to them, hand-in-hand, with matching determined looks on their faces. Juho saw their soulmate thread flicker to life between them and smiled. Sally had been helping him get better at spotting them, and as promised there was no more pain with the visions.

 

“We’re going to do one of the trust-building classes before dinner, you should join us.”

“And by that we mean either follow us of your own free will or we’re going to drag you there.”

 

There was no arguing with the firmness of their tone, but Juho made a point of sighing loudly as he stood up. Seokwoo nudged him lightly and shook his head, but they followed the older coupled towards the studio class anyway. It surely couldn’t be that bad.

Juho regretted not running far, far away from this class. It wasn’t a regular trust-building class, instead it was made specifically for couples. What he thought would be things like trust-falls and leading one another around a space blindfolded instead turned out to be sitting cross-legged with their knees touching and staring deeply into one another’s eyes. The instructor gave an emotional speech about ‘in order to build trust with your partner you first need to truly _see_ them’. So that was how they ended up barely a hands distance apart, making direct eye-contact.

Now, Juho was not the kind of person who shied away from making eye-contact with people. He believed it was a good habit to directly look at someone when you were speaking to them, especially in a formal setting. But this was very different. Because despite having known Seokwoo for six months at this stage, he had avoided this kind of directness as much as possible. Sure, they would meet one another’s eyes over food or when discussing a movie or something, but this was not the same thing. There was no talking, no distraction, no ability to break away when things got a little too much. Instead, he found himself staring into Seokwoo’s eyes as he stared right back.

It was awkward at first, as was to be expected. Juho’s eyes kept flickering away and he had to school them back to looking at the man sitting so close in front of him. As the minutes ticked by, he began to ease into it. There was something calming about watching Seokwoo like this, and he could see the smile in the taller male’s eyes as they looked at one another. He noticed pale golden flecks in his irises that glimmered when they caught the light just right, and it made Seokwoo seem just that little bit more magical.

Finally, the instructor told them to break eye-contact and Juho felt a little dizzy when he looked away. As much as he would have liked that to be the end of the trust-building, it was not. After that they had to do a compliment relay which left Juho with a flaming face and indents in his palms from how hard he had dug his nails into them. And then to finish off the class, they did the physical exercises Juho had been expecting from the beginning. They were successful with their trust falls and took blindfolded directions very well. The last thing they had to do was a hug for one minute. Juho thought that was a rather long time, but at least a hug was something he was comfortable with.

Seokwoo opened his arms and Juho stepped into them, wrapping his arms around Seokwoo’s waist and resting them against his back. In return, the taller male’s arms wrapped around his shoulders and waist, pulling him closer against his chest. From where his head rested in the crook of Seokwoo’s neck he could smell all the lotions from the facial they had done and felt his heart pulsing in his chest. He didn’t understand the reasoning behind the length of the hug, but it seemed like that one minute stretched into an eternity. It was just the two of them, wrapped up in an embrace and feeling the physical comfort of being pressed together. Juho felt himself slipping into an almost dreamlike state, lulled there by the steady rhythm of Seokwoo’s heartbeat. And then, they heard a set of chimes ringing and the instructor told them that their time was up.

 

“All right everyone, that brings us to the end of our couple’s trust-building class. I hope you all feel that much closer with your partner.”

 

They all thanked her before making their way back out to the main area. Juho still felt a little dreamy, but thankfully Seokwoo supported him by his waist as they walked back to the couches. Youngbin and Hana were right behind them, talking brightly about the class and what they were looking forward to the next day. When they reached the couches, almost everyone was there already. Juho noticed Inseong and Mimi were missing, but Jaeyoon told him they were signing up for a sunrise class and would be back in a few minutes. Sure enough, they made their appearance and Youngbin raised a hand to grab everyone’s attention.

 

“So, who’s hungry?”

 

The restaurant in the resort still had an aura of relaxation about it, with beautiful flowers and water features in every space, but it felt a little more alive too. Juho didn’t feel like he had to keep his voice down when he was talking, and their laughter was free and unrestrained. The food was amazing, as was the wine. There was very little Juho could find fault with, but there was still a strange feeling in his stomach. Every time he glanced towards Seokwoo he saw the gold dancing in his eyes and felt his heat and heartbeat on his skin like a phantom touch. He wouldn’t say he felt unsettled, but there was something just not quite right.

When they had all finished devouring their desserts it was getting late. Even though the spa stayed open for another few hours, everyone came to a mutual agreement that they were ready to retire to bed. So, they all went back to the locker room and grabbed their things before heading to the front desk to get their room assignments. They were told that there were nine double rooms, and so they all had to pair up. Youngbin and Hana, and Sanghyuk and Nayoung were the first ones to take a room key, and his best friend grabbed a room key for Juho and Seokwoo to share. Inseong and Mimi also offered to pair up too, which resulted in plenty of teasing from the group, and the others separated themselves easily. Haebin and Sejeong, Sally and Soyee, Mina and Hyeyeon, Jaeyoon and Taeyang, and Chani and Hwiyoung were the final room designations.

After thanking the staff, they all headed towards the elevators. It seemed that the rooms were all scattered throughout the resort, and so they made an agreement to meet for breakfast at nine thirty in the morning before going their separate ways. Inseong and Mimi were on the same floor as Juho and Seokwoo, so they took an elevator together. As much as Juho would have loved to question his older friend about this sudden arrangement, he could see the nerves on his face and decided against it. They would talk to the group when they were ready. They split up down two different corridors after saying their goodnights, and Juho couldn’t help bouncing on his feet when they arrived at their room, number 312.

Inside of the room was pretty small, but it wasn’t cramped in any way. They were only designed for sleeping in after all so there was no need for much. A large double bed with pure white bed linen was the main feature, with a wardrobe to one side of the room and a dresser beside it. Juho discovered a mini fridge inside the dresser while Seokwoo found the small bathroom off to the left of the room. It just had the essentials which Juho recognised as a great strategy for saving money while charging quite a lot for the rooms. When they had finished examining the room and putting their things away the reality set in. There was one bed for the two of them, and no couch or spare blankets for one of them to set up on the floor.

 

“Are you -”

“I don’t mind -”

“You go first.”

“I was just going to say, I don’t mind sharing as long as it’s ok with you.”

“Oh, yeah ok. I was going to ask are you alright with sharing so, I guess that’s sorted then.”

 

There was an awkward tension in the room. They had known one another for half a year and had spent the entire time pretending that they were dating. Juho felt guilty for dragging Seokwoo into this for so long, but he couldn’t deny how much he had enjoyed having someone to care for him, even if it wasn’t real. Much like their first meeting, Juho wanted to break the silence but just couldn’t find the words. And also like that first ‘date’ in the café, Seokwoo spoke up first.

 

“Do you want to wash up first? I saw disposable toothbrushes and everything in the vanity beside the sink.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

 

There were extra sets of their white clothes in the wardrobe, but no other kind of clothing to wear, so Juho just assumed they slept in the t-shirts and shorts they had been provided. He didn’t mind that at all, they were very light and comfortable. After brushing his teeth and splashing his face with cold water, he checked his thigh. Before they came he had put a waterproof covering over his soulmark, in anticipation that they would probably be swimming and to avoid anyone possibly seeing it. It wasn’t the most perfect solution, but it was enough. Once he was ready he swapped places with Seokwoo and stared at the bed.

It was big enough that they would be able to share comfortably without being in one another’s personal space too much, which Juho supposed was better than nothing. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and checked his phone while he waited for Seokwoo to come back out. He truly hadn’t missed it the whole time he had been here, but that was probably because the only people he ever really needed to text or call were all here with him. Deciding not to bother checking his social media he set an alarm for nine am and then threw his phone onto the dresser. Seokwoo appeared at that moment, his hair a little damp and minus his shirt.

 

“Did you decide to give your shirt a bath?”

“You could have warned me that the tap was high pressure.”

“I really didn’t think that was something I needed to warn you about.”

“Yeah well, now I’m sleeping shirtless so that’s on you.”

 

The easy banter lifted the tension from the room and Juho laughed a little. He was still kind of breathless looking at Seokwoo, his body really was incredible. But he was more in control of himself this time and didn’t let out a squeak of any kind. Without any words they pulled out the blanket and climbed onto the bed. The mattress was the perfect softness for Juho and he sighed as he let himself collapse back against the fluffy pillows.

 

“This is heaven.”

“With how white everything is I wouldn’t be surprised.”

 

Seokwoo chuckled at his own joke and Juho haphazardly flung an arm out and smacked him on the chest. That caused him to make a noise of indignation and chose to retaliate by swinging one of his pillows at Juho’s middle. They messed around for a short while, acting entirely like children, but it left Juho breathless with laughter in the best way. When they both finally settled down they were facing one another.

 

“Hey Juho?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re closer to the light switch, go turn it off.”

 

Juho stuck his tongue out at the taller male but he did as he was asked. After the light switch was flicked off it was pitch black in the room and Juho wobbled in place. The room wasn’t that big, but he still wasn’t certain he would make it back to the bed.

 

“Everything ok?”

“Uh, can you just keep talking so I can make it back to the bed?”

 

Seokwoo laughed and complied, babbling about what he enjoyed most about their getaway so far and Juho made his way towards the sound of his voice. He felt his shins hit off the end of the mattress and so he climbed back onto it on all fours. It was only when he reached the top of the bed that he realised his mistake. In following Seokwoo’s voice exactly, he had ended up crawling on top of him. They were both silent for a second before Juho apologised quickly and moved to the unoccupied end of the mattress. He lay down and mentally berated himself, but then he felt a warm hand reaching out towards him.

 

“Juho?”

“Yeah?”

“Goodnight.”

 

He took the hand in his own and returned the goodnight before making himself comfortable and closing his eyes. His body was exhausted but perfectly relaxed, and he fell asleep to the sound of Seokwoo’s regular breathing beside him.

 

Juho woke up slowly. He was cocooned in warmth and every part of him felt completely relaxed and at ease. It was probably the best sleep he had in as long as he could remember. He hazily remembered half-waking up in the middle of the night to take a drink of water and he was pretty sure he threw his shirt somewhere in the room because it had gotten too hot. Not quite ready to get up yet, he went to bury himself deeper into the blankets only to discover something that made his eyes shoot open. He took a deep breath to slow his heart before slowly turning his head to see was this really happening. And it was. His now bare back was pressed to Seokwoo’s chest, and the taller had an arm wrapped around his middle holding him close. It should have been awkward, but all Juho felt was comfort, like this was the place he should be.

Somehow sensing Juho had woken up, Seokwoo began to stir. As he did begin to wake, he drew his hand back across Juho’s stomach causing him to take in a sharp breath. He was very sensitive, and that was not helping. Lying as still as possible, Juho waited for Seokwoo to say something.

 

“Good morning.”

 

His voice was deep and rough with sleep and it made Juho’s chest clench. He slowly turned over so they were facing one another, so close that the tips of their noses were almost brushing. From this distance he could make out the golden flecks in his eyes again, and he felt utterly breathless. Seokwoo put his hand on the small of Juho’s back as if he was afraid he would try to run away from this moment. But he wasn’t going anywhere. Because a certain feeling had taken over his every faculty. He had known it for a very long time but refused to let himself think about what it meant, but now this close to Seokwoo and feeling so relaxed, Juho let himself really feel it. He was in love.

 

“Good morning.”

 

The words were barely a whisper, but they were so close that Seokwoo definitely heard them. A lazy smile spread across his face as he softly looked at Juho with sleepy eyes. And in return Juho let himself admire every part of the man in front of him. He was so comfortable in this moment and decided that this was all he ever needed, so he took a deep breath and finally confronted the guilt he had been harbouring for so long.

 

“Seokwoo, what are we really?”

“If you think you have to ask then you already know the answer.”

 

Before Juho could make sense of the words, Seokwoo was leaning in even closer, so that their lips were but a hairs width apart. But he didn’t close the last of the distance, giving Juho the choice to decide what this meant. He didn’t even need to think about it and leaned in the last millimetre so that their lips met at last, after all this time. And everything finally felt like it was perfect.

He felt like he was floating. Seokwoo’s lips were soft and warm pressed against his own, and Juho wanted to slap himself for waiting so long to take this opportunity. They had been dating since that first meeting, out to everyone else but somehow not to themselves. It was so obvious how they felt about one another, which was why no one ever had to question their relationship. Juho knew he had been stupid, the signs had been there for the longest time, but none of it mattered now. Because he was finally letting himself take what he wanted, and Seokwoo was more than happy to give it to him.

As their lips started moving with a bit more purpose, Seokwoo pulled Juho even closer, their chests pressed tightly together. Juho could feel their hearts beating in unison but didn’t get a chance to think about it because Seokwoo was rolling them over so Juho was on his back and he hovered over him. He brought a hand up and tangled it in the taller male’s hair, letting out a sigh of pleasure when their tongues met and began exploring one another properly.

Time meant nothing as they allowed themselves give in to their feelings and let their bodies take the lead for a change. How many times had they had to hold themselves back from being this close because they hadn’t cleared up what their relationship status was? It didn’t matter, because they were making up for lost time now.

They only broke apart when Juho’s alarm started ringing from the top of the dresser, dragging them back to reality. Seokwoo rolled to one side but kept a hand on Juho’s waist as they tried to catch their breath. The taller male’s hair was a complete mess from Juho’s fingers playing with it, and his lips were pink and swollen. Juho was sure he probably was in a similar state and couldn’t help the smile that lit up his face. Seokwoo smiled too with so much happiness in his eyes it made Juho swoon. The alarm continued to ring as they lay there staring at one another, and as much as he would have loved to stay here for longer they had plans made already. And if they weren’t at breakfast at the time they promised, Hana and Youngbin would most certainly come and find them.

So, with that thought in mind, they both slowly sat up and began getting ready for the day. They splashed their faces with water and Juho did his best to help Seokwoo make his hair look a little more presentable. They threw on fresh t-shirts and slippers and made their way downstairs, fingers intertwined with so much more meaning than before.

Everyone was lively at breakfast, it seemed that they all had a well-deserved rest. Sanghyuk tried to explain something scientific about sleep patterns but Nayoung just shoved a croissant in his mouth to shut him up. Juho laughed loudly, wondering why he had never considered using such a tactic on his best friend before. Inseong and Mimi were a little late and apologised, saying that the sunrise class they had signed up for ran a lot longer than expected. But when Juho caught Inseong’s eye he blushed and busied himself with peeling an orange.

Once they had all eaten their fill, they decided they would do a morning yoga class together. So they all headed back towards the spa, ready for another day of relaxation. The best thing about the yoga in Juho’s opinion was how he could freely move and twist in any direction and not once did his back twinge or restrict him. Whatever the masseuse had done yesterday had completely gotten rid of all the knots in his muscles and Juho almost felt like crying with relief.

After the class they all congregated in the main area, sprawling out on couches and enjoying the free time. Seokwoo sat on one of the loungers and pulled Juho into his lap, which made him blush, but he didn’t try to move. Taeyang raised an eyebrow in their direction which Juho returned, challenging him to say something about it. The younger just grinned cheekily and lay back on his own lounger, arms behind his head in complete relaxation. They all sat around talking for a while, not really wanting to move but also aware they only had a short while left. In the end it was Hwiyoung who spoke up.

 

“I want to try out the pool, who wants to join?”

 

Murmurs of agreement went around the group, none of them had tried the pool yet so they had no reason not to go. Juho was once again relieved he had the foresight to wear a waterproof covering over his soulmark. They all dragged themselves to their feet and made their way to the pool area where a staff member handed them all swimming wear and pointed them to the changing rooms. They split in half and went to get changed, promising to meet just on the other side.

Inside the changing rooms were the same as the first ones they had been shown to yesterday, only the sound of running water from showers was audible here and the non-slip mats on the floor kept their feet out of puddles. It was pretty empty but the guys all stayed close together, no one really shy or embarrassed about changing in front of one another. Apart from Seokwoo, they had all known each other for two years now and were as close as family. Juho made sure to stay facing away from the others as he changed into his swim shorts, not wanting to draw attention to the bandage on his thigh. It was also for his own sanity, unsure if he was ready to see more of Seokwoo just yet. He was just putting his things in the lockers provided when Sanghyuk spoke up.

 

“Yikes, that’s a really nasty bruise! How did you get that?”

“Oh, uhh – I think I must have hit it off the corner of a table or something, I don’t remember.”

“It looks painful though, you don’t remember getting it?”

“No I don’t, I guess I just bruise easy.”

 

Seokwoo’s voice sounded a bit strained which immediately made Juho curious. By the time he turned to face the rest of the group they were all changed too, and Seokwoo looked like he was ready to flee. That just made him even more worried about his boyfriend, but it also made his stomach twist for another reason. It was ridiculous though, there was no way – it just had to be a coincidence. But still, his mind couldn’t help but wonder…

Because when Juho was sixteen, four purple primroses blossomed on his left thigh.

His soulmark; beautiful, colourful, a promise that there was someone out there meant to be with him. At first he had been so exited to show his school friends, but their first reaction wasn’t one of wonder, but shock.

 

“Oh my god, what happened?”

“It looks like someone dropped a table on your leg!”

“Did you get run over or something?”

 

He explained it was his soulmark, which upon further examination they all were able to distinguish the purple petals of the flowers from the yellow centres and the dark green stems. But that memory stuck with him, of the people closest to him at that time first believing his mark to be one of pain, caused by injury.

A gentle hand on his arm shook him back to the present time, and Seokwoo was standing there with a curious look on his face. Juho smiled at him, banishing the thoughts to the back of his mind. Seokwoo couldn’t be his soulmate, there was no way. And it didn’t matter, because he was going to love Seokwoo anyway, destined other half or not.

The group walked out of the changing rooms and into the pool area and the first thing Juho noticed was the heat. It had been warm in the main spa, but this was different, a more humid heat settling on their skin and hair making him feel sweaty without actually sweating. It was probably supposed to be good for you, that’s what the appeal of saunas was after all, but Juho just felt restricted in the damp, hot air. So, he grabbed Seokwoo by the hand and pulled him towards the water.

 

“We’re supposed to wait for the girls!”

“Tell Sally if she wants to fight me we’ll be in the wave pool.”

 

Seokwoo laughed and happily went along with him until they were walking into the water. It was also warm, heated to a relaxing temperature, but at least when Juho was in the pool he didn’t feel like there was sweat sticking to his skin. It had been such a long time since he had been swimming, never finding the time to try out the universities pool in his time there. But he had always loved the water as a child, so as soon as it was deep enough he lay on his back and just let himself float. He could feel Seokwoo’s eyes on him, but he didn’t mind. They were properly together now, and instead of blushing at the attention he welcomed it.

 

“Are we actually going to the wave pool?”

“We can if you want to, I just needed to get into the water and out of the humid air.”

 

The taller hummed in response before lying on his back too and floating along beside Juho. He giggled as they tried to stay close to one another but instead just ended up splashing in the water. Juho felt ten years younger as he and Seokwoo playfully flicked water at one another and tried to get the upper hand as they stood back up, facing off in a mock duel. His wide smile was mirrored on Seokwoo’s face as they messed around, enjoying the freedom to play like this with no cares in the world. Seokwoo eventually got a tight hold around Juho’s waist from behind, holding him and refusing to let go.

By this stage they had moved away from the entrance to the pool where their friends had been and were making their way inadvertently towards the lazy river. No words were needed and they decided to enter it, Seokwoo dragging them both to lie on their backs again as the current tugged them along. They linked arms and held hands, making sure to keep one another close.

 

“Did you know when otters nap they hold hands, so they don’t float away from one another?”

“I didn’t, how do you know that?”

“Did you know swans’ mate for life? Or that- “

“Seokwoo, did you search for random water-based animal facts before we came or are these just things you know.”

“What, you mean you don’t have a random collection of useless facts about nature?”

 

Juho laughed heartily at his boyfriends teasing tone. It was good to know that confirmation of their relationship status wasn’t going to change anything about how they talked to one another. They had been through the initial ‘getting-to-know’ one another phase already without really dating, so now they could just jump straight into the comfortable end of being a perfect match. It wasn’t quite like being friends first and then dating, because everyone else already thought they were together, and Juho had liked Seokwoo as more than just a friend from the beginning. Which made him curious.

 

“When did you start to like me?”

“You mean in a ‘maybe I want this pretend relationship to be a real one’ way?”

“Yeah.”

“From the first date.”

“The escape room?”

“No, the café. You are exactly my type, and I couldn’t believe my luck when you came over to sit with me and we just clicked. I was already considering asking for your number so I could see you again when you were finished your studies, but then Sanghyuk turned up and, well –”

“I panicked, and you played along.”

“Yeah, I could see how stressed you were about it and I figured helping you out might get me brownie points for the future, but I wasn’t expecting them to suggest an actual double date there and then.”

“You agreed pretty quickly though.”

“Hey, I wasn’t about to pass up on an opportunity to see you again. Even if I did have to pretend to date you when we weren’t dating even though I wanted to be, but I wasn’t sure if you would want that.”

“So, why did you never bring it up then? If you wanted to actually date since the beginning.”

“Well, I knew how important doing well in your course was to you, and I didn’t want to put pressure on you to have to see me or whatever if we were dating. I was more than happy to just talk to you through texts and wait until you were ready to ask you out for real.”

“How do you know me so well to realise that I wasn’t in the right place for dating after knowing me for like one week, and yet my closest friends of three years couldn’t see it?”

 

Seokwoo made a noise as if he was thinking really hard about the answer. Juho glanced over and giggled when he saw him stroking at his chin as if there was an imaginary beard there. They caught each other’s eye and broke into more laughter. They had no idea where they were, just leaving all their worries behind as they floated along together on the current. It was peaceful and warm, and Juho probably could have fallen asleep if he tried, but he had another question.

 

“So, if you wanted to date me from the beginning but were waiting until I was finished, why didn’t you ask me out that night when we went out to celebrate?”

“Well, that was my plan originally. Take you out to dinner and clear up the whole thing about our ‘relationship’ and ask you to be my boyfriend for real. Because honestly, before then I still wasn’t sure if you liked me like that or not.”

“I did.”

“I’m glad to hear that. But the thing is, after that night at dinner and in the club, then I was sure you did like me too. So even though I should have cleared it up I just felt like we were at a mutual agreement that this was an actual thing. But I mean, you could have talked to me about it too you know.”

“I know, and I’ve been slapping myself for not doing it sooner. But I wasn’t sure if you were just still being nice to me and playing along for my sake, or because you liked my friends and didn’t want to lose contact with them if we stopped ‘dating’. So yeah, sorry.”

“Hey, don’t apologise, we were both stupid. I just have one question though. Were my feelings not obvious?”

“They were, but I just didn’t let myself think they were real because – well, I didn’t think I deserved you. And I thought if I just could convince myself that you were just being nice and how I felt was only because no one had ever been this nice to me before then it would be fine when you inevitably left.”

 

He was pulled to the right by Seokwoo’s arm linked with his own, and for a moment he struggled to get his feet back under him with the strength of the current. Then he was being pressed against a wall in a little inlet, the water here swirling peacefully and not tugging them along. He opened his mouth to question Seokwoo’s motives but then he saw the look on his face and pressed his lips shut. There was a seriousness in his eyes that was similar to how he looked when he was working, and an aura that made Juho a little weak at the knees.

 

“Juho, do you not see how amazing you are? How right you are for me? If you thought for a second that I wouldn’t want to be with you then I obviously didn’t show you enough how perfect you are.”

“Seokwoo, that’s not -”

“No, it was absolutely my responsibility to make you feel loved and cared for, fake boyfriend or real one it didn’t matter. And I didn’t do well enough.”

“Stop that, you did so much for me that I honestly can’t put it into words. I don’t think I would have made it through those last few months without your help, you kept me sane and prevented me from having a stress-induced breakdown weekly. Please Seokwoo, don’t sell yourself short just because I’m not accustomed to affection.”

“Well, I’m going to fix that. From now on you will be smothered in love and affection, as long as you are ok with that.”

“Maybe not smothered, just lightly coddled?”

“Deal. And if I ever get too overbearing just say so and I’ll dial it back.”

 

Nodding once, Juho thought that would be the end of it and they could go back to floating, but Seokwoo continued to hold him in place. Meeting his eyes, he saw a swirling mix of emotions all fighting to be seen. The air between them was charged and heated by more than just the temperature of the water. Unlike this morning, they were both fully awake and had every opportunity to make a move, but Juho stayed still. After what felt like an eternity, a clarity overtook Seokwoo’s face and he smirked as he moved closer. Juho inhaled sharply and his eyes dropped shut in anticipation. He felt Seokwoo’s breath ghost over his lips and he muttered something before kissing him deeply.

 

“I guess you like it when I take charge.”

 

Juho would have crumbled at the words if it wasn’t for Seokwoo’s hands on his waist holding him against the wall. They kissed slowly, lazily, like they had all the time in the world to spend like this. And in a way, Juho supposed they did. He would have happily stayed here in Seokwoo’s arms for hours, but his friends chose that moment to find them.

 

“THIS IS A FAMILY FRIENDLY PLACE! KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!”

 

Seokwoo smiled into their kiss but refused to pull away, instead he lifted his hands off Juho’s waist and opening his eyes he saw the taller was holding them up in the air, almost as if he was surrendering. It was just too funny, and Juho started laughing, breaking the kiss and getting Seokwoo’s bright smile in return. He heard Sanghyuk complaining about PDA, but it was getting more distant – he had obviously continued along the lazy river. Juho knew his ears were probably bright red, but with the way his boyfriend was watching him he didn’t feel embarrassed, instead he just felt happiness filling up every part of him.

They returned to letting the current of the warm water pull them along, fingers interlocked and talking about absolutely nothing. Somehow, they managed to catch up to Sanghyuk, Taeyang and Chani who were all enjoying the laziness too. Taeyang winked at him and nodded towards Seokwoo, which Juho got the implications from and decided the appropriate response was to splash his friend in return. This started a water war, which they continued into the main area of the pool where everyone else seemed to be relaxing in the warm water.

The majority of their afternoon was spent in the water, splashing around and just relaxing in good company. They only decided to get out when Mina and Sejeong started complaining about their wrinkly fingers. Heading back into the changing rooms, they all made their way to the shower area to rinse off before changing back into their spa clothes. The spray was cool and refreshing and Juho would have stayed longer under it only his stomach protested it’s hunger rather loudly. Once again, he made sure he was turned away from the group when he was changing, and when they were all dressed they walked out into the spa again.

After lunch their last few hours in the spa ticked away without them even noticing. Sally dragged him to get a head and foot massage which was strange at first but by the end of it he felt a strange balance. In no time at all, they were leaving the spa and heading back up to their rooms to change and gather their belongings. Seokwoo changed in the bathroom while in the bedroom Juho quickly exchanged his all-white attire for the ripped jeans and black t-shirt he had come in. Double checking they had everything, they took the elevator back down and met up with everyone in the reception. They thanked the staff and left the resort on the bus, all feeling so much more relaxed and refreshed.

It wasn’t long before the clean air in the country side turned to traffic and skyscrapers as they travelled back into the city. Some of their friends were napping on the bus, while Juho and Seokwoo were sharing earphones and recommending songs back and forth. After the two-hour trip, the bus left them off in the city and they all got out to stretch their legs. It was strange, Juho thought as he looked around the street, but everything seemed to have a new kind of light behind it.

 

“Well, I know it wasn’t a very long trip but I hope everyone got something good out of it.”

“It was a fantastic idea Nayoung, thank you so much for organising it for us all. I had a wonderful time.”

 

They all voiced their agreement with Taeyang’s statement, uttering their thanks and making Nayoung blush. Sanghyuk grinned and pulled her into a one-armed hug, and Juho’s heart felt full seeing the love in his best friend’s eyes. Even though no one really wanted to say their goodbyes, they all had responsibilities to return to. Sanghyuk and Nayoung left first, followed by Haebin and Taeyang heading back to their dorms. Chani and Hwiyoung claimed they were going to go find a greasy pizza place for dinner and Mina and Hyeyeon decided to join them, while Inseong and Mimi shyly said they were also going for dinner. Jaeyoon teased him loudly but the grin on their faces gave the game away. Juho was more than delighted for his eldest friend and enthusiastically waved them goodbye.

He was just thinking about how funny it was that so many couples had come out of their friend group, one of whom happened to be soulmates, when Sally, Soyee and Sejeong came over before they left. Seokwoo also appeared and put his hand on the small of Juho’s back, exchanging goodbyes with the three girls too. The warmth and comfort that spread through his entire body at the contact made Juho’s chest bloom with a new feeling he hadn’t experienced before, and as he turned his head back towards the girls he got a brief shock. Sally’s eyes were shining silver, and Juho felt his stomach twist. He threw a brief glance over his shoulder to where Youngbin and Hana were chatting together, and when he turned back her eyes were brown again.

 

“Well, this was certainly a fun group bonding experience. Did you guys have a good time?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m really glad I was able to get the time off. If it hadn’t been for Juho showing up on set it probably wouldn’t have happened.”

“You can than Sejeong for that. It was her idea to bring up the trip in front of your director.”

 

They talked for a little while, about their two days off and other small things before the three girls insisted they really had to head home. Sally pulled Juho into a tight hug which he returned, slightly confused but not worried, and then they bid them goodbye. Juho turned then to Seokwoo, with every intention of saying goodbye to him as well and heading home to his dorm to sleep, but his words got caught in his throat when their eyes met. There was so much tender emotion on Seokwoo’s face that Juho had to look away in order to take a breath. It was very overwhelming. The pair had been fake dating for such a long time but now, finally, they could show how they really felt.

 

“You’re under absolutely no obligation to say yes to this, and I will understand completely if you want to go back to your own dorm, but – would you like to stay the night with me?”

 

The skies had darkened and there were no stars visible through the cloud cover, the city was beginning to come alive with young people heading out for the evening and the street lamps cast a hazy golden glow over everything they reached. But in that moment, Juho had a singular moment of clarity looking up into Seokwoo’s eyes, and he realised this was all he ever wanted.

 

“I would love to.”


	3. The End

The summer passed quickly yet slowly at the same time. Days of work bled into one another and sometimes Juho would come home and set his alarm for the next day only to realise it was Friday already. Other days he checked his watch every hour only to find only twenty minutes had gone by. But despite the strange dysregulated linearity of time, Juho was happier than he had ever been. His best friend was in love and working in a position he had wanted for years. Two of his other friends were also in stable, content relationships - one of which was a soul pairing. And of course, he had the most incredible boyfriend who never failed to send him a good morning and good night message, even on the days he was working illegal hours at the studio. 

If there was one thing that was stopping Juho from saying he was truly content, it was the uncertainty of what he wanted to do when the summer came to an end. Graduation was creeping closer and closer, and with it, two more things cropped up. The first was the prospect of getting a position in a job he was actually qualified for and had spent four years of his life working with no breaks to achieve his perfect scores. This was something he could talk to Seokwoo about, the taller having gone through a similar crisis after his graduation before deciding to try his hand at modelling for a while first before making his decision. Juho quite liked the prospect of staying with the company he was in, continuing to learn more and more about music production every day and working on something he really enjoyed. But the smothering guilt of wasting his time didn't let him consider it too seriously just yet.

The second thing wasn't something he could talk to Seokwoo about since it was in a way related to him. In two weeks time he and Sanghyuk would be saying goodbye to their student dorm that they had lived in for the last four years, and Juho would need to find somewhere else to live. Sanghyuk and Nayoung had already put a deposit down on a small studio apartment a little ways from the campus, and Juho had done nothing. Whenever his best friend tried to bring up the idea that he should talk to Seokwoo it sent him into a near panic, and it was getting more than a little ridiculous. So much so that Youngbin was brought in to try and face the issue.

 

"Is this an intervention?"

"I wouldn't call it that exactly."

"What would you call it then?"

"A negotiation."

"That's literally the same thing."

 

There were five of them sprawled out on Youngbin's living room floor, ice-cream wrappers and bottles of water scattered between them. Hana and Nayoung were taking turns using the water mister to keep themselves cool while Youngbin and Sanghyuk were shamelessly shirtless to combat the heat. Juho was wearing a muscle tee and knee-length shorts which he kept tugging down to make sure his soulmark was covered. By now he was sure his friends had caught on to his nervous habit, but neither of them had brought it up. Instead, it felt like he was back at the beginning of his final year when they all kept pestering him about dating.

 

"Look, whether you decide to stay in the music company or look for an internship you're going to need to find somewhere in the city. Why would you bother trying to find a place when you practically live in your boyfriend's anyway?"

"I do not practically live there!"

 

He denied it even though he knew it was true. This month alone he had spent at least four or five nights a week in Seokwoo's apartment. It was just so much more convenient. There was a bus stop only five minutes away which he could take right to the door of his studio, they were much closer to the city so they could walk to any bar or restaurant they wanted to go to, and it was just comforting to arrive back to the apartment and see Seokwoo lying comfortably on the couch or preparing dinner for the two of them. But as true as it was, Juho was still hesitant to take that final leap and bring up the end of his lease with his boyfriend. And that was for one reason. He tugged at the hem of his shorts again and Sanghyuk finally snapped.

 

"Dude it's almost forty degrees out why do you keep trying to cover yourself up more!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

 

That was his first mistake, denying it only made Sanghyuk even more suspicious and he stood up to move closer to Juho. His second mistake was putting a white-knuckle grip on his shorts which only further hinted to everyone that he was trying to hide something. What Juho wasn't expecting was the conclusion his best friend came to with the limited information he had. 

 

"Juho, has he hurt you?"

"What?"

"If you're not safe with him, you know you can tell us. We'll do whatever is necessary to protect you."

 

There was a fierce protectiveness in Sanghyuk's eyes and when he glanced over Youngbin was the same. The girls were quiet but Juho had no doubt that they also would say the same. Juho felt awful. He had been so secretive that it caused his best friends to think that Seokwoo was hurting him, and he knew there was nothing else to do except tell them the truth. So, taking a deep breath, he slowly moved the fabric up his thigh to reveal his soul mark. Sanghyuk immediately gasped and Juho was reminded of how people had reacted before.

 

"I promise it's not what you think. Just, look closer."

 

Youngbin also moved over and his two friends stared at the purple marking for a moment before they seemed to realise what it was. A strange expression crossed Sanghyuk's face and he bit his lip as if to stop himself from saying something. Juho realised his hands were shaking at the same time Youngbin did, and the elder wrapped him in a gentle hug. They sat there in silence for a moment before Juho supposed he should clear everything up.

 

"This is my soulmark. I'm scared of moving in with Seokwoo because then he's going to see it and then I'll have to tell him why I keep it hidden. What if he thinks I'm wasting his time and that I would leave him if I ever found my soulmate? What if h-"

"Stop, stop please Juho."

 

He clamped his mouth shut and Youngbin continued to run fingers through his hair and hold him close. The heat radiating off his older friend's chest should have been unbearable but instead, it lulled Juho into a sense of security. His friends were here for him, they would never leave. Tears were rolling down his face without him noticing, and it was only when Youngbin moved to wipe them away he registered he was crying. Sanghyuks eyes were also brimming with tears, but there was also a determination there that helped slow the rapid beating of his heart. His best friend threw a look over his shoulder to where the two girls were sitting in silence before he swallowed hard and turned back around to face him.

 

"I met my soulmate."

"You - what?"

"In our third year, I met him. His name is Hongseok, he's a TA in the chemistry department."

"Why did you never tell me?"

"Because I know how important the idea of soulmates is to you. We went on one date because we thought we should, but neither of us felt that way about one another so we didn't force it. He just gets me, and even though we don't talk all the time I know that he would do anything for me, and likewise I would do the same for him. We're happy with that, and it doesn't change my feelings for Nayoung in the slightest."

 

Nayoung smiled at him softly when he met her eyes. She knew, of course she did, and yet there was no jealousy in her gaze. Sanghyuk was speaking again and Juho had to pull himself out of his head to listen.

 

"You love Seokwoo, don't you?"

"I - yeah, I do."

"And it's very obvious that he loves you back. So don't you even consider the impossibility that he would leave you for anything. I know it's scary, and I understand that your soulmark is something personal and important to you, but don't let it stop you from being truly happy with Seokwoo."

 

Juho felt the tears dripping from his chin onto his chest and it hurt. Two silver doves fluttered around the room and the thread linking Youngbin and Hana was so bright, so clear. He loved Seokwoo, more than he ever thought was possible. Even considering not being with him made his chest seize in panic. So why was he still so reluctant to accept that his friends were right. There was one more person he needed to talk to about this before he could decide.

 

"I hear you, Sanghyuk I promise I do. And trust me when I say I have been agonising over this for a while. But, I'm just not sure."

"Juho, I hope you don't mind but, can I ask you a question?"

 

She was wringing her hands together nervously and Hana rubbed her arm in comfort. Juho nodded once. Whatever Nayoung had to ask him he would do his best to answer, that much he owed to his friends at least. She hesitated slightly, but steeled herself and just blurted it out. 

 

"Have you and Seokwoo not, you know -"

"What?"

"Um, well, you've stayed over with him a few times so I was just confused, how has he not seen your mark before?"

 

It hit him what Nayoung was getting at and even though he was flushed from the heat already his body temperature rocketed up and he felt his ears turn an alarming shade of red. Nayoung's eyes widened and immediately apologised and tried to backtrack but he stuttered out that it was alright. It was a perfectly valid question after all, as far as everyone knew they had been dating for almost nine months now.

 

"Well, no, we haven't um - slept together. I mean, we share a bed and that! But we haven't - yeah."

"Oh, I see."

 

He couldn't bring himself to meet his friend's curious looks. They had all seen him and Seokwoo be close and cuddly whenever they were together, and Sanghyuk had even caught them making out when they were on that spa retreat, so naturally, they would just assume. But in reality, the furthest they had gone was some heavy making out shirtless. Youngbin had a hand on his knee and tapped it once to make him look up.

 

"If you don't want to talk about this just say so, the last thing we want is to make you uncomfortable."

"No it's - it's ok. Maybe it will help clear my head a bit."

"Alright, so then, is there a reason you guys haven't - gone that far yet?"

 

Taking a breath Juho gathered all his thoughts on the matter. Ever since they finally clarified their relationship they had been a lot more open with physical affection, even though they had never really been shy about sharing soft touches before. But they had never talked about going further, despite it being very clear that they both wanted to.

 

"Well, neither of us are shy about showing affection, but whenever it came to more - intimate situations - we both kind of just, stopped before it went any further. Like, I want to! But, he never pushed it and because I was scared for him to see my soulmark I never tried to talk to him about it either. So I guess we're kind of stuck at this thing and neither of us have brought it up yet."

"Look, Juho, I don't want to push or anything but - are you really going to let this come between you and what you want in your relationship? I mean, you and Seokwoo are so good together and if it's something that you guys aren't ready for yet or just don't want then that's totally fine but, if you want this then you need to talk to him about it."

 

He nodded along with Youngbin's words, as always they made perfect sense. The scariest part was knowing that he did want this, and at the end of the day he couldn't wait for Seokwoo to bring it up. The pressure weighed on his shoulders and made his chest feel that little bit tighter, but he couldn't share that with his friends. They would just get more upset knowing they had brought this on him, and Juho had enough to deal with without trying to persuade Youngbin and Sanghyuk that he was ok. Because he wasn't. As much as he loved and trusted his friends, he needed to get out of this atmosphere and there was only one person who really understood why he was so reluctant to make a move on this.

Sally dropped everything to meet him for ice-cream in the park. She had heard his desperation on the phone and refused to let him stew in it any longer than he had to. When they met up first neither of them brought it up, waiting until they had their treats and were walking for a while before she broached the topic. 

 

"So, why the semi-breakdown?"

"Nayoung or Hana haven't tried to talk to you?"

"Nope."

"Alright. Well, basically my lease in the apartment is almost up and I need to find somewhere else to live before graduation."

"And you're being pressured to move in with Seokwoo?"

"Not exactly..."

"But you are stressed about it."

"Yeah."

"So, what's the actual reason then?"

 

Glancing to his left, she wasn't even looking at him but he could see her raised eyebrows and a small smirk. She just knew him too well for him to get away with avoiding this, but he supposed that was the reason he came to her in the first place. Out of every one of his friends, Sally was the only one who understood his attachment to the idea behind soulmates, and she also wouldn't shy away from telling him when he was being dumb about things. That's why he needed her opinion on this, so he sucked it up and just told her.

 

"I'm terrified of him seeing my soulmark."

"Because you're afraid that will change his opinion of you, or because you're scared he might be your soulmate?"

 

That made Juho stop in his tracks, and Sally had to pivot on her heels to look at him. She had a questioning look on her face like she hadn't considered the impact her words had on his thinking. But Juho was having a revelation. Never since they met had he allowed himself to think about the possibility that Seokwoo was his soulmate. He just couldn't let himself get his hopes up, not when this was something that was so important to him. 

 

"You never considered it?"

"I - no."

 

Suddenly it was like his entire world view had shifted. Flashes of memories flitted together and formed a picture in his head that he had been ignorant to all this time. Seokwoo tugging on his shorts the same way Juho did to hide his thighs. Refusing to buy a pair of jeans with a rip high on the left thigh because they were "thot jeans" but getting a different pair with a rip even higher up on the right side. Sanghyuk exclaiming and asking him about a bruise when they were at the spa, one Juho hadn't spotted during their massage or that night. His chest felt tight, much like it had when he first saw Youngbin and Hana together but instead of pain, it was panic. Sally must have sensed his distress because three long strides took her to him and she wrapped him up in a tight embrace, carding fingers through his hair.

 

"I'm sorry, I thought you would have already been through this."

"No no, don't apologise. I just - I guess I was too scared to let myself think about it."

 

When Juho finally felt his chest loosen he patted his friends back and she let go, giving him a gentle smile. They continued walking and threw out their now melted ice-cream cups and laughed at the waste. It struck Juho that he had never asked Sally of her opinion on soulmates. Despite all the time they spent together watching couples, teaching him how to spot threads and marks, he had never asked about her mark. 

 

"Sally, who is your soulmate?"

 

Because it just fit right in his mind that she had met her soulmate before. And he was right - a silver thread flickered to life, snaking from her heart and extending far into the distance. A wistful look crossed her face, and her eyes lit up silver. At that moment, she looked ethereal.

 

"His name is Yanan. We're childhood friends."

"How come I have never met him?"

"He lives back home, I haven't talked to him in three years."

 

The pain in her voice made him take a step back before surging forward again, wrapping his arms tight around her waist as she broke down. Her fingers dug into his back painfully as her shoulders shook with sobs. In the four years they had known one another Juho had never seen her cry. Not when she failed a test because she missed the whole second half of the exam, not when she fell from the top of a cheerleading pyramid and shattered her ankle, not even the day she got a phone call telling her that her grandmother had passed away. Sally was a quiet but consistent source of comfort and optimism for him, and it hurt Juho that she had been carrying this pain and never shared it. He felt like an awful friend.

 

"Don't do that, don't blame yourself for not asking before."

"I should have though. I should have been a support for you."

 

They stood there as the sun beat down on them, Sally's tears soaking through the light material of his shirt until her breathing evened out. Juho didn't let go until she started slapping him on the back, whining about him being a big baby. He released his grip on her waist but took her hands in his instead, not letting her go. Her eyes were red and swollen, but still shining bright silver. Juho wondered if his reflected the same.

 

"I loved him, but our educations came first. When we were choosing universities we wanted to stay close, but the only university in the country that had the specialised course he wanted was at home, and they don't do what I wanted. We kept in touch for the first year, but we both got jobs during the summer and couldn't afford to visit. When my grandmother died I took a week off to go home but he wasn't there. He was on a trip with his friends and h-he didn't come back for me. We haven't spoken since."

 

Tears leaked down her cheeks, the silver light reflecting in them and making them look like mercury. His thigh burned and he reached a hand down to cover his own soulmark. He couldn't even imagine the pain she was in, what she felt every time she saw the silver threads linking two hearts together. Her fingers tightened briefly around his before she pulled one away and began walking again, tugging Juho along by the other.

As they walked she told him the whole story; how they had grown up together, basically living in one another's pockets. How excited she had been at sixteen years old when a peacock appeared on her hip, and how she ran to show him first. How two days later, on his sixteenth birthday, he had texted her to come over immediately. The unbearable pain that struck her when he lifted his shirt to show her the peacock that had made a home on his skin. Soulmates, who were supposed to understand each other better than anyone else ever could.

Soulmates - who fell out of love.

Juho sent Seokwoo a text to say he wouldn't be over that evening. Instead, he brought Sally back to her dorm and stayed with her and Soyee all night until she fell asleep in her roommate's arms with tearstained cheeks but a lighter heart. It was only after he whispered his goodnights and began the long walk back to his own dorm that the situation which led him here came back to the front of his mind. What if Seokwoo really was his soulmate? He had to stop in the middle of the street and draw a pained breath at the thought. Surely he would know? If they were truly meant to be together then there must be some way Juho would know.

But then he really thought about it. How the sound of Seokwoo's voice alone was able to calm him down from panic even during the most stressful time of his life. The speed and ease that he fell into a comfortable relationship with the taller but never felt pressured to do anything with him. How their bodies gravitated towards one another, how they fit together like two puzzle pieces, how when they kissed everything felt right with the world. Maybe, the universe had been trying to tell him all along, but he had just been to blind to see it.

And then, just as he had reached the point of thinking that maybe Seokwoo was meant to be his, he thought of Sally again. How she had known her soulmate for her whole life and yet- her tears were still fresh in his mind. The ground lost it's solidity and Juho barely registered his body crumpling against the pavement. It wasn't a cold night but something sucked all the heat from his body leaving him shivering. Thoughts of losing Seokwoo, he realised, left him numb but still somehow in an incredible amount of pain. His heart seemed to stop beating, lungs seizing up as he tried to keep breathing. He had been through panic attacks before, but nothing was ever as bad as this. Just as his eyes lost their fight to stay open a sound not unlike singing resonated in his ears. But he wasn't conscious for long enough to figure out what it was. 

Pain ran the length of his body as Juho started to wake up. His muscles were marble; cold and frozen, his head was throbbing, but nothing could compare to the agony stabbing him in the chest. He tried to move but his limbs refused to cooperate, he tried to open his eyes but the lids were like lead. Panic started building as he tried to orient himself with nothing to ground himself on. It didn't even feel like he was breathing, there was nothing except the pain. Then a warmth on his head, a gentle touch which infused heat back into skin and muscle as it moved across his face. A dull hum started to be audible over the banging in his ears, slowly getting louder until he could make out sounds. Words. His name. Repeated over and over and over like a mantra. The voice pierced through the fog in his head and finally, Juho managed to suck in a deep, painful breath. 

His body was cold but there was warmth emanating from above him. Fingers scrabbled for purchase against the soft bedsheets he had grown so used to. His eyes were still stuck shut but touch returned to him and he began seeking out the heat source, desperate now. Soothing words whispered that he was alright, he was safe, and the bubble of emotion in Juho's throat burst in a cry. Soft skin, burning compared to the frigidness of his fingers but he didn't care. Pulling, tugging, needing him closer. Juho heaved out heavy sobs as he tried to regulate his breathing but he still couldn't open his eyes, couldn't see. 

 

"I'm right here baby, I have you."

 

Seokwoo. His body cried out for the security that he knew his boyfriend could provide. He needed to _feel,_ needed to press himself against Seokwoo and have his arms around him. But there was a pressure keeping him down. Even though his muscles had begun to thaw they refused to move on command and Juho began to choke on the tears. Strong hands cradled his head, wiping his cheeks and the warmth got closer. Breath fanned over his skin, rapid and irregular and Juho registered that the taller male was crying too. Words lay heavy on his tongue and although he tried to speak only garbled sounds came out. Seokwoo shushed him, one hand staying on his face and the other trailing down his body. Neck, chest, shoulder, arm, hand. Fingers intertwined and with a shock his legs lashed out. 

 

"It's ok baby, just breathe for me. Please Juho, just breathe."

 

Sucking in air, deep into his lungs despite the pain. Again and again, rhythmically until the banging in his head began to fade. All the time Seokwoo's voice was there, calming and gentle, whispered promises. It might have been minutes or perhaps hours, but his eyes began to grow lighter like someone lifted the weight from them. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear the grey spots from his vision so he could see. And finally, he opened them. 

The first thing he saw was Seokwoo, and the aching in his chest receded slightly. Breathing became easier, sensation returned to his limbs and the first thing he did was move the hand that had somehow made purchase on Seokwoo's bicep to his face. Cupping it, stroking his thumb across his boyfriend's cheek swiping away the trail of tears. And then he pulled. No force was required for him to fall forward and press their lips together. The ache receded further as Juho reached his other hand up to place it on Seokwoo's waist. The taller sobbed into the kiss and Juho pressed harder, focusing only on him. He was panting when Seokwoo pulled back, and his eyes immediately shot open not to lose sight of him. In the dimly lit room, Seokwoo looked like an angel.

 

"What happened?"

 

His throat felt like sandpaper and his words came out just as raspy. Seokwoo sobbed again and intertwined their fingers again, squeezing like he never wanted to let go. There was still a hollow pang in his chest, but nothing like the burning agony from before. 

 

"I - I don't know. Shortly after you texted me earlier Sejeong sent me a message to say you were at their dorm, and that you and Sally both seemed very upset. Then a few hours later my chest started to hurt and my ma- I just knew there was something wrong. So I ran towards Sejeong's dorm and then I found you lying on the street. You were crying but y-you wouldn't respond to anything. I was so scared, I just picked you up and brought you back here."

"How long ago was that? How long have I been unconscious?"

"We got back here about twenty minutes ago, but I have no idea how long you were lying there before I found you."

 

The concept of time was still too far for Juho to grasp, all he cared about right now was Seokwoo. He tugged on his boyfriend's waist again and the taller male took the hint, lying down beside Juho with an arm and a leg thrown over him. Heat from the skin on skin contact melted the last of the ice in his muscles and he began to relax into the cotton sheets that Seokwoo had asked for his help choosing a few weeks ago. They kissed again, soft but laced with desperation still. Then, as if he had been hit with a ton of bricks, Juho remembered why he had been lying on the street in the first place.

What if Seokwoo was his soulmate? What if he lost him? 

His breathing must have started to speed up again because Seokwoo was muttering words of reassurance into his ear, stroking his hair and kissing away the tears that hadn't stopped falling. He was in love. This was what pure love felt like and Juho never wanted to let it go, soulmates or not. 

 

"I love you."

 

It was the first time he had said it in those exact words. Seokwoo drew in a sharp, watery breath and then lips were pressed to his again, and again. Whispered against his skin were words that made Juho's heart swell with warmth and filled his entire body with peace. He leaned into the touch and returned his boyfriends affections, never wanting to part.

 

"I love you too. I'm yours Juho, all yours. I'll always be here."

 

How long they spent pressed together Juho had no idea, but when they finally leaned back to breathe and just watch one another his lips felt swollen and his eyes stung. Seokwoo looked no better, pink kissed lips and puffy red eyes the reminder of the copious amount of tears they had both shed. But Juho felt like he was floating with the weight of his boyfriend the only thing keeping him anchored to reality. There was a shine in the taller male's eyes, a reflection of the moonlight streaming in through the open curtains. It made them look silver, and Juho thought it was now or never.

 

"Seokwoo? I have to show you something."

"What is it?"

 

If he didn't do this now he knew he never would. Whether Seokwoo was his soulmate or not didn't matter to him anymore, because Juho loved him so much that just the thought of losing him hurt enough to cause him to pass out with panic. He refused to let that happen again. So, cautiously, he shifted Seokwoo's leg slightly down from where he had thrown it across Juho's thighs and hitched the material of his shorts up enough so that his soulmark was visible. Seokwoo must have been following his movements with his eyes because as soon as the purple appeared he gasped. Juho pressed his eyes shut tightly, scared of seeing his boyfriend's reaction. But they shot open immediately when he felt burning fingertips tracing the outline of the flower petals. It was silent the entire time until Seokwoo reached the same spot he started at.

The heat was gone but before Juho could open his mouth the taller male moved so he was hovering above him. His eyes fell to Seokwoo's slender fingers as they slowly did the same as he had done, lifting his the leg of his shorts until vivid colour was staring back at him.

Four purple primroses sat on Seokwoo's left thigh. 

It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room and Juho was left limp as he stared. A perfectly matching soulmark - Seokwoo's soulmark. The implication and realisation slammed into him like a freight train and the tears started falling again. Neither of them had spoken yet, but no words were needed. Juho tore his eyes away from his leg and met Seokwoo's eyes, and when he did suddenly the room turned silver. A bright thread flickered to life joining his heart to his boyfriends and the bed under him was filled with delicate flowers. A sweet scent filled the air and Juho sucked in a deep breath, filling his lungs until they burned with the spring-like smell of primroses. 

 

"Juho - "

"Seokwoo - "

 

Neither of them could find the words to say in this moment. So intimate, so perfect that there was really no way to describe it. Juho sat up, his muscles finally responding to his wishes and moving so that he was staring up into his boyfriend's eyes, also brimming with unshed tears. They both leaned in at the same time, lips meeting halfway. This was far different from any kiss they had shared before, there was so much more emotion behind it. 

Soulmates.

That's what they were. How they had taken months to figure it out Juho couldn't really believe it. All the breadcrumbs and hints that the universe had dropped for them along the way were glaring in his memory, taunting him for not spotting them sooner. But none of that mattered now, not when their hearts and souls had finally become one like they were born to be. The weightlessness that filled his body couldn't be described as anything other than heavenly when they finally parted for breath. This time Seokwoo's eyes were shining silver for real, and Juho's jaw dropped when he realised.

 

"You can see them too?"

 

Seokwoo nodded, awestruck at the realisation. It was dreadfully ironic that as two people who could see the threads connecting soulmates, they still hadn't been able to see that they were each others. And then, laughter. Pure and bright bubbled from Seokwoo's chest and spilled out, spurring Juho into laughing too. The ultimate feeling of being complete, he didn't think anything could ever compare to this. The taller man sitting on top of him spoke first.

 

"We're so dumb."

"Don't even say it - how long have we been dating now? Months, and we didn't know."

"I was so terrified to show you my mark because I didn't want you to realise you weren't mine. I thought that if I could hide it for long enough then maybe it wouldn't matter."

"You know it wouldn't have mattered to me. I love you so much Seokwoo, more than I ever thought it would be possible to love someone. I would have been yours forever, soulmark or not."

"How do we tell the others?"

 

The others, his friends - Sally. Now knowing what it really felt like to have met his soulmate, Juho couldn't bear the thought of the pain she must be in. Seokwoo must have seen the troubled look in his eyes because he rolled off him and pulled them both so they were lying on their sides, staring noses touching and arms instinctively moving to envelop one another in an embrace. He needed no words to ask what was wrong, Juho could somehow just feel the worry and curiosity radiating from him. This was something he would have to talk to Youngbin about, these linked emotions, but not right now.

For now, he told Seokwoo about Sally, and the soulmate she hadn't seen in years. Pain also crossed Seokwoo's face and Juho felt it in his core, the same pain he had been in at the thought of losing his boyfriend. As much as he wanted to talk about it with his boyfriend, the exhaustion from his panic attack was starting to take over and Juho felt his eyes begin to drift shut. Seokwoo chuckled lightly and rearranged them so that they were underneath a light sheet, too hot for a blanket. And just like that, Juho fell into a comfortable sleep wrapped in the arms of his soulmate. 

Waking up the next morning was not much different to how he woke up with Seokwoo on other occasions. The only difference was when his eyes opened fully and focused on the room, the first thing he saw were two silver eyes watching him peacefully and a short thread joining the space between their chests. He was momentarily breathless before surging forward to steal a kiss. Seokwoo smiled into it and kissed back softly, tenderly. Juho never knew it was possible to feel this much at once, the overwhelming positive emotions flooding his brain were far beyond anything he had felt before. Then he realised that they weren't all his. The connection between himself and Seokwoo was allowing their feelings to cross over to one another, and Juho was feeling the combined intensity of his love for Seokwoo and also the taller man's reciprocated feelings. He felt the tears begin streaming down his cheeks and had to pull away for a moment to take a breath.

 

"I love you."

 

They both said it at the same time, in perfect harmony. Juho's face broke into a smile so wide he felt his cheeks already begin to ache. He couldn't believe he had allowed his fears of being left behind hold him back from feeling this complete. Seokwoo chased after his lips and they woke up properly like this. Juho let the pure love wash over him and fill him to the brim. When he pulled away and opened his eyes, their thread was still glowing brightly and purple primroses with silver linings were scattered all around them. He reached out to pluck on from Seokwoo's hair only to find they weren't real.

 

"It's weird right? They look so real."

"How long have you been able to see soul links?"

"Since the day I got mine. My parents are soulmates, so when I showed them my mark theirs flared to life. It was so painful, it felt like I was dying."

 

Juho nodded, but then wondered how he had never seen his boyfriend's eyes turn silver whenever they were around Youngbin and Hana. He didn't even need to voice his question though, because Seokwoo just smiled and answered him anyway. 

 

"I guess we were never looking at each other."

 

They spent the morning lying in bed, sharing everything they couldn't before in fear of being rejected. There was a sense of liberty that washed over Juho as they got up and went to get breakfast together, the domesticity of putting on a pot of coffee while Seokwoo made pancakes. All his life Juho had been waiting for his soulmate, convinced that when he finally met them he would just  _know._ And instead, he had ended up dating him for eight months before they finally realised. 

Over breakfast, they discussed whether or not they should tell their friends. Seokwoo wanted to, he explained that Dongmin and Seoham had been pestering him about finally showing his soulmark for weeks now and he was worried they were going to try and do something about it. Juho knew that they should tell the rest of the group, after all, Youngbin and Hana had shared with them almost immediately after they found out. But there was still something he was worried about, and that was the issue of moving in together.

He tried to keep his emotions under wraps, not wanting Seokwoo to feel them through their link. Juho knew though, that if they shared with everyone about them being soulmates they would surely push him to take the final step and move into a shared apartment. It was of course the next logical step in their relationship, but there was still something holding him back. He realised suddenly that it was his independence. Moving in with Seokwoo would put them under the same roof all the time, what if Juho needed space? Or alone time? Was his boyfriend going to understand? There was a lot to think about before he finally made that big decision. 

 

"Can we wait a little bit before we tell the group? You can tell Seoham and Dongmin so that they don't do anything stupid, and I have to tell Sally because she can see soul links too, but -"

"Juho, it's fine. We have all the time in the world to share it with everyone. A soul pairing doesn't have to be something public, if you want to keep it just between us then I'm happy to do that too."

 

Seokwoo was smiling at him softly over his coffee mug and Juho was hit with a wave of emotions. His soulmate truly did understand him better than anyone else ever could, and he still couldn't believe this was real. Maybe everything would be alright in the end. 

 

"Thank you Seokwoo, I love you."

"I love you too Juho, until the end of time."

 

They shared a sweet kiss and finished the last of their breakfast together. As they got dressed for the day, Seokwoo had a meeting and Juho had to head to the studio for a little while, the shorter male couldn't stop his mind from thinking of Sally, and her soulmate who abandoned her. His heart hurt, and he tried to turn all the emotions off for a few hours while he tried to get some work done. There had to be something he could do for her. 

Seokwoo messaged him around seven to say that he had told his two friends about their soul pairing and they wanted to take them both out for dinner to celebrate. Juho chuckled at the suggestion but he happily agreed. Free food was always a good thing and he really did want to get to know Seoham and Dongmin better. He went back to his shared apartment with Sanghyuk, to shower and change into fresh clothes before going to meet the three models for dinner. His roommate tried to corner him as he was leaving but he was too slow, and Juho escaped without having to talk about last night. He didn't know if he would ever tell his friends about what happened, they would probably worry too much.

On the bus ride to the restaurant, Juho took the time to begin to sort through all his thoughts and feelings about moving in with Seokwoo, now that the excuse of hiding his soulmark was no longer valid. He knew that he should just talk to his soulmate about it, he was bound to understand his feelings and after knowing him for all this time Juho was certain he wouldn't be upset by it at all. But still he hesitated. Maybe he just wanted to prove to himself that he could do something on his own, especially since he had basically decided to keep working with the studio for the coming year to see if it was something he could make a career out of. He had time yet.

Dinner was a loud and entertaining affair. Juho really did love spending time with Seokwoo's friends, they were so bright and could be extremely childish at times. They were both ecstatic for them discovering that they were soulmates. As Seoham put it, it was like a scene straight out of a romantic drama. When they had finally finished the two other models split the check between them, claiming that this was their one and only gift the couple would ever get.

By the time Juho and Seokwoo got home together the shorter male had a full stomach and sore muscles from laughing and smiling so much. They went through their nighttime routine together before curling up in bed, this time their soulmarks unashamedly on display. Juho felt the freedom soaring around him as they kissed goodnight and fell asleep on a bed of primroses.

 

The final few weeks leading up to graduation were hectic, but not necessarily in a bad way. There were three big things that happened in a time period that didn't seem possible, and yet somehow it worked. First, and probably most importantly, Juho finally asked Seokwoo if he could move in with him after graduation. His boyfriend almost started crying at the question which Juho was definitely not prepared for, and it took half an hour for him to calm down enough to explain why he was so emotional.

 

"It's just - Sanghyuk had told me that your lease was up the day before you graduated and that you would need somewhere to live. I wanted to ask you but he told me that it was something you had to decide for yourself and I was so scared that you really didn't want to live together and that all the time you spent here was just to make me happy an-"

 

Juho shut him up with a firm kiss, shaking his head in disbelief at how his boyfriend had worked himself up so much about this. He also vowed to get back at Sanghyuk somehow, which Seokwoo was more than happy to help him plan. With the help of Seoham, Dongmin, Sejeong and Sally (all of whom now knew about their soul pairing), the couple managed to move all of Juho's things from his shared apartment with Sanghyuk to Seokwoo's place in the eight hours that his best friend was at work. That phone call is probably one of the funniest Juho can remember having in all the time he had lived with the older male. 

The second big thing was Inseong and Mimi finally announcing that they were officially together. Everyone had known there was something going on but trusted that given the time the pair would work things out on their own. All eighteen of them went for dinner together again to celebrate and Juho wasn't the only one laughing at the irony that Sanghyuk and Nayoung getting back together had brought three more couples together. (Possibly a fourth if the way Chani and Mina were cuddling up together throughout dinner was any indication.)

Finally, something that Juho wasn't sure would actually work out came to pass too. With a lot of help and social media stalking, Juho finally managed to get a hold of Sally's soulmate, Yanan. They had spoken on the phone for close to four hours one night. After Juho explained how upset Sally was he had spent most of the call listening to the other man break down and explain his side of the story, and comforting him through it. After several more phone calls and numerous text messages, they finally made a plan. Yanan was going to travel to the university on their graduation day and apologise to Sally for never explaining what had happened, and hope that she would be willing to talk to him again. Juho really didn't know how she was going to react, but he was hopeful that the outcome would be positive.

So, with two days left until graduation, there was just one more thing that Juho had to decide on. Whether or not they should tell the rest of their friends about their soul marks. Sanghyuk and Youngbin had tried to get him to talk about it after Juho made the official move to Seokwoo's apartment, but he had managed to evade their questions up until now. He and Seokwoo discussed it at length a few times, and they had finally decided that they wanted to share it with everyone.

Of the group, five of them were graduating; Juho, Sanghyuk, Nayoung, Sally and Soyee. They had decided not to do a group celebration on the night since most of their families were travelling for the ceremony, so they were leaving it until the next day. Juho was fine with that, his parents were probably going to want plenty of time to get to know Seokwoo after all. He also knew that Yanan was coming down with Sally's parents and he was sure they would need a lot of time to talk as well. That meant then, that revealing that he and Seokwoo were soulmates was going to have to wait another day longer. 

Graduation day itself was strange. Juho really didn't know what he was expecting, but it felt strange to know that this really was the end of his years of struggling through a course that really he hadn't much interest in. He met his parents before the ceremony and his mother cried just seeing her only son in his gown and cap, about to graduate top of his class. He teased her, saying it was joint top, but that in no way diminished her pride for him. He wasn't going to introduce Seokwoo until after everything was over, not wanting his boyfriend to have to deal with his parents without him there. 

The ceremony felt like it took a lifetime, but his moment on stage was gone in the blink of an eye. He briefly wondered what he even did all this for as they stood in their places and moved the tassels on their caps over. It was a momentary, arbitrary celebration for years of work that amounted to a single piece of parchment with his name written in fancy script. Juho wasn't even convinced he would ever do anything with his degree, having found something he was actually interested in and talented at naturally. But then as they left the auditorium, and he saw the pride in his father's smile and the tears in his mother's eyes, maybe it did hold some worth after all. 

Seokwoo appeared then with a smile so blinding it outshone the sun. He was dressed immaculately, and if Juho had been able to tear his eyes away he was sure he would have seen heads turning to watch him as he moved. But they only had eyes for one another, so much so Juho didn't even notice that his boyfriend was holding something behind his back until he produced it with a flourish.

 

"Primroses?"

"I wonder, in all your years did you ever look up the meaning behind these flowers?"

 

There was a smirk in his soulmates silver eyes as he held the bouquet of purple blossoms out for him to take. Juho shook his head as he lifted the flowers up to his nose. They smelled earthy and sweet, like springtime in the rain. They smelled like Seokwoo, like home, like forever.

 

"Well, depending on what website you look at they tell you different things. But the consensus is that they mean youth, first love, and the feeling of not being able to live without your partner."

 

Juho pulled him down and pressed their lips together as silver primroses bloomed at their feet. It was funny, one of the things he had been most afraid of was meeting his soulmate and not being loved back. But yet, if he had even had the mind of curiosity to check what his soulmark represented he could have been saved years of wondering and heartache.

 

"I love you."

"I love you too Juho, forever and always. Congratulations."

 

His father coughed not so discreetly behind them, and Juho flushed pink having completely forgotten they were there as soon as he had seen Seokwoo. He had warned his parents that he had a boyfriend, but that was it. Now though, he had a lot of other things to say.

 

"Mum, dad, I'd like you to meet Seokwoo. He is my boyfriend - and my soulmate."

 

Introductions were made and his mother cried even harder. They took hundreds of photos, from serious and professional to fun and cringe. He found Sanghyuk and Nayoung and pulled his best friend into a bone-crushing hug as if that could ever convey how much he appreciated all the years they had spent together. Tears threatened to fall but he promised himself he would keep them in check. Besides, it wasn't like Sanghyuk was ever going to let him get away with not seeing him at least once a week. They took more photos and when Soyee appeared they took more again. Their other friends were waiting for them on the main college green since it was too crowded around the auditorium, but there was one person Juho needed to find first.

 

"Soyee, did you see where Sally went after the ceremony?"

"She told me she was going to find her parents but I haven't seen her since."

"Maybe try looking at that big cherry blossom tree behind the old music building, I remember her telling me a long time ago that when she graduated she wanted to take a picture with it."

 

He thanked Nayoung and took Seokwoo's hand in his. His parents were going to make their way to the restaurant where they were having dinner, and Juho promised they would meet them there shortly once they had taken their group photo with all his friends. With his boyfriend on one side and his bouquet of primroses in his other hand, Juho walked with purpose towards the old music building. He needed to see if his plan was coming to fruition, or had he made a big mistake. Sensing his inner turmoi, Seokwoo squeezed his hand in reassurance that he did a good thing, and everything would be fine. After all, they were soulmates.

And of course, Seokwoo was right. They found Sally in her cap and gown wrapped in the arms of a tall guy. Not as tall as Seokwoo, but tall enough that the height difference between them was stark - even though Sally was surely wearing heels. Juho didn't want to intrude on this moment, but as if she could sense them there she stood back and they both turned to look at them. Both of them had red-rimmed puffy eyes and tear tracks on their cheeks, but when Sally's eyes began to glow silver Juho just knew that everything was going to be ok. A bright silver thread shone to life joining Sally and Yanan together, and two silver peacocks strutted around together under the tree. Juho smiled, relief that everything had worked out filling his body to the brim.

 

"Everyone is waiting on you so we can take the group picture!"

 

She laughed, clear and so filled with joy that Juho felt his own happiness bubble in his chest. The four of them walked to the green together, brief introductions were made although not really necessary. Yanan's voice was even softer in person, and the thread joining their hearts didn't waver once the entire time. It wasn't hard to spot their group of friends milling about on the green. They wouldn't have missed them anyway, with how loud Jaeyoon and Inseong were being. Hyeyeon spotted them first and started jumping up and down waving. She was the youngest of all of them and therefore automatically the cutest, no matter how hard Taeyang tried to fight for that title. Everyone was giving Yanan strange looks but all it took was four words from Sally to put smiles on their faces.

 

"Yanan is my soulmate."

 

She was pulled into a group hug by her three roommates, laughing and smiling but the thread never breaking. Two silver doves joined the peacocks on the grass covered in primroses, and Juho's heart decided that now was as good a time as any. No words were needed to explain to Seokwoo what he was feeling, the taller planted a kiss on his forehead before clearing his throat to get the attention on them. Three words this time, but just as impactful.

 

"We're soulmates too."

 

Juho was surrounded by the love of his friends, of his boyfriend, and the knowledge that no matter what he decided to do with his life there would be people who were proud of him and would support him all the way. As they took ridiculous selfies and wrestled some poor unsuspecting student into taking one big group shot, Juho felt his heart grow three times bigger. This was where he was meant to be. All the stress and study and well-meaning blind dates were part of the universes grand scheme of things to bring them all together right in this moment. And there was nothing he wanted to change.

 

When Juho was sixteen, four purple primroses blossomed on his left thigh. And when he was twenty-two, infinitely more silver ones blossomed on his soul. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really can't thank you all enough for all the love and support you've shown me with this fic. Truly it is one of my favourite AU's and I still can't believe the word count on it! But I have loved writing every word and I hope that you have all enjoyed reading it and coming on this rollercoaster of a journey with me.


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